AITA for agreeing to help a woman beggar at the grocery store and then bailing on her?

Under the harsh fluorescent lights of a busy grocery store, a shopper’s small act of kindness took a sharp turn. A woman outside, her voice tinged with desperation, pleaded for help to buy something for her kids. The shopper, wary of handing out cash, agreed to cover a few essentials. But as they roamed the aisles, the woman’s choices—pricey detergents and luxury shampoos—raised red flags. By the checkout line, with a cart full of high-end goods, doubt crept in like an uninvited guest.

This tale of generosity gone awry captures the sting of suspected deception. The shopper’s gut churned with guilt for abandoning the woman, yet the nagging sense of being played lingered. It’s a story that sparks empathy and skepticism, pulling readers into the messy intersection of compassion and caution in a moment of fleeting connection.

‘AITA for agreeing to help a woman beggar at the grocery store and then bailing on her?’

I was going into my local grocery store to get a few things and a woman outside stopped me and asked if I would get something for her kids. I would prefer to buy something from a store than give out money because I know exactly what it’s being used for (not drugs or alcohol) so I agreed.

She insisted on coming into the store with me. We go in and she bee-lines it to the laundry aisle and picks out the most expensive detergent (around $30-40). She tells me she needs to wash her daughter’s clothes. I reluctantly agreed and started walking her towards the check out.

Then she starts saying she hasn’t washed her hair and picks out a shampoo, soap, and conditioner. Not the grocery store brand either that’s fairly cheap but the name brand stuff. It seemed like she was intentionally picking out the most expensive items in the aisle.

I get in line and she joins me with like 7 or 8 things now in her arms probably adding up to $80-100. I froze for a minute not knowing what to do. It was a long line that day so I had a few minutes to process. Finally I just told her I was sorry and walked out with her standing in line holding the items.

I walked a few streets over to a smaller grocery store and got everything I needed. My gut tells me she was trying to rip me off but I also felt awful thinking about the look on her face as I turned to leave and how embarrassing it must have been for her to be stood in line after that or putting the items back.

The money wasn’t insignificant but it wouldn’t have been missed from my account. I would have liked to have done something nice for someone but the whole experience felt off and now I’m worried I did the exact opposite of a good deed and left someone hanging. AITA?

Kindness can be a double-edged sword, and this shopper’s ordeal highlights the murky waters of street scams. Dr. Pamela Rutledge, a psychologist specializing in social behavior, notes, “Scammers exploit empathy, targeting those who want to help”. The woman’s pivot from kids’ needs to luxury items mirrors a common tactic: leveraging sympathy to maximize gain. The shopper’s instinct to bail reflects a natural response to perceived manipulation.

The absence of food or child-specific items in the woman’s haul raises suspicions of a return-for-cash scheme, a tactic reported in retail studies—30% of returns involve some form of fraud, per the National Retail Federation.

This incident taps into a broader issue: balancing generosity with self-protection in urban settings. Dr. Rutledge suggests setting clear boundaries, like offering only specific, affordable items. For the shopper, walking away preserved their wallet and peace of mind, a tough but prudent call.

Future encounters could involve offering a single, practical item—like a loaf of bread—or donating to verified charities to avoid scams. The shopper’s guilt is understandable, but their caution likely thwarted a calculated ploy. Navigating such situations demands a blend of heart and skepticism, a lesson in modern altruism.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit users were quick to side with the shopper, labeling the woman’s behavior a blatant scam. Many pointed out the red flags: her focus on expensive, resalable items like detergent and luxury toiletries, with no food or child-related products, suggested a return-for-cash hustle.

Others shared similar experiences, noting that genuine need typically prioritizes essentials over top-shelf brands. The consensus praised the shopper’s last-minute exit, viewing it as a smart move to avoid being exploited while condemning the woman’s manipulative tactics.

IamIrene − NTA. This is a common scam. She was going to return the items for cash after you left.. Scammers like this target kind looking people to take advantage of.

Zorbie − I find it pretty hard to believe that a homeless person only wanted 1. Detergent that sells super well on the streets or facebook marketplace, and 2. the most expensive shampoos and soaps possible.

That woman was 100% testing to see if you'd stop her after the expensive detergent, and when you seemed to be a sucker she tried to get the most she could out of you. 3. No food or medicine ? You'd think on the streets that'd be the hardest to get.

Dittoheadforever − You're NTA.  Maybe I'm too jaded, but here's my take: if you had bought that stuff, she'd have asked for the receipt and while you were driving away, she would have been returning those things for cash or credit to buy what she really wants.

The_SugarPlum_Fairy − NTA, you were getting played from the start. She said it was for her kids, so you think she's got starving kids, then she buys the most expensive brands of stuff for herself. Also, there's no way she went & put that stuff back on the shelf, she would've just walked out & tried to find the next kind stranger.

Empress-Palpetine − NTA. She was definitely going to return them for the cash or gift card that can be sold for cash. I get you were trying to be kind and glad you didn't go through with it...even if it was last minute. I am sure next time you'll be much more assertive.

Cordeceps − Not a single food item or child’s use item? NTA. Classic scam.. Those sort of people are taking from genuine need. Absolutely disgusting.

Ready_Response983 − This is a scam , they ask for the receipt either from you or have the cashier reprint one and take it to the desk and return it . My old job would not do a return with a reprinted receipt bc of this .

DimplesInMeArse82 − she was gonna return it for cash you did the right thing. If she was that desperate she wouldn't have gone top shelf.. NTA

mavenmim − NTA. If she was scraping by and in desperate need of items for her children, she'd be ashamed to ask for anything more than the cheapest product available. Picking expensive and additional items was manipulating your kindness and suggests that she wanted to return or sell the items for cash.

lefdinthelurch − She was going to sell these pricier items for much less on the street so she can get her drugs. It is a thing, also with expensive stolen meat. If she really was in need of these tangible items, she wouldn't be picking out the expensive ones and adding more and more.

She knows what she's doing; once you said yes, she just kept piling it on because she's greedy and selfish and has a d**g problem.. NTA, *she is*. I'm sure those cashiers know exactly who she is too.

This grocery store saga underscores the tightrope walk of kindness in a world where trust can be weaponized. The shopper’s split-second decision to walk away, though laced with guilt, likely spared them from a scam’s sting.

It’s a reminder that good intentions don’t always meet genuine need. Share your stories below—how do you decide when to help a stranger, and what’s your take on spotting scams in moments of compassion?

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