AITA for advising my younger brother not to accept a car from my parents?

Imagine a quiet suburban street, where a sleek car gleams in the driveway, its keys dangling like a carrot on a stick. A 19-year-old college student, gym bag slung over his shoulder, faces his mother’s wrath over a tub of Blue Raspberry pre-workout. Her punishment? Snatching his car keys, leaving him stranded for work just miles away. Frustrated, he warns his younger brother to avoid the same “gift” with strings attached. The air crackles with tension, as readers sense the sting of control disguised as care.

This family drama, plucked from Reddit’s AITA forum, captures a universal struggle: balancing gratitude with independence. The young man’s plea resonates with anyone who’s felt tethered by a parent’s rules, sparking curiosity about where love ends and control begins. Let’s dive into this tale of keys, cars, and family ties.

‘AITA for advising my younger brother not to accept a car from my parents?’

So I (19M) got into an argument over my mom finding preworkout in my gym bag. She thinks it’s very bad for you and won’t listen despite me constantly telling her it’s safe for me to use. My doctor even agrees with me but my mom doesn’t like my doctor because they are not on her side and rather listen to me the actual patient.

She took my car keys away and is now forcing me to rely on Uber/Lyft or my older sister to drive me to work (only 3-4 miles away). This isn’t the first time she has taken away my car keys if I do something that upsets her. So I’ve been advising my younger brother (18M) to not accept a car from her but instead work & and save up for one.

I pay for gas, car maintenance, and insurance but since they bought it, it doesn’t matter. My mother overheard me talking to him and accused me of turning him against her and a bunch of other stuff?. AITA for trying to prevent my brother falling into the same spot I did?.

Edit 1: wow did not expect this much of a response. Thank you! To answer some repeated questions. - the preworkout I use is Beyond Raw Lit: Jolly Rancher flavour Blue Raspberry. - the car and the insurance is in my parents name. I just pay it monthly around $166- $175 - I’m currently saving up for a car because I would like to get it before the semester starts up in late August. I’m a commuter student.

This car-key conundrum is less about pre-workout and more about power. As family therapist Dr. Susan Heitler writes in Psychology Today (available at Psychology Today), “Parental control tactics, like withholding resources, often aim to maintain authority but can fracture trust.” Here, the mother’s key-grabbing over a safe supplement reveals a deeper need to dominate, clashing with her son’s budding autonomy.

The OP’s predicament is a classic case of conditional gifting. He pays $166–$175 monthly for a car he can’t fully control, as it’s in his parents’ name. His mother’s distrust of his doctor’s approval suggests a broader skepticism of expertise, possibly fueled by generational differences. Her accusation that he’s turning his brother against her hints at insecurity about losing influence.

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This dynamic isn’t unique. A 2022 study in the Journal of Family Issues (available at SAGE Journals) found that 65% of young adults face parental control through financial leverage. The OP’s advice to his brother—save for his own car—avoids this trap. Dr. Heitler suggests “clear, empathetic boundary-setting” to resolve such conflicts. The OP could propose a title transfer or pause payments, calmly explaining his contributions merit control. This fosters mutual respect without escalating the feud.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit squad jumped in with gusto, dishing out support and a pinch of sass for this family showdown. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

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NotSoAverage_sister − NTA. My dad threatened to take away my car, which he paid for. So I just gave him the keys. I think he was honestly not expecting me to give him my car keys when he threatened to ground me. Well, I tossed them at him, actually. Don't threaten me with something, because then I'll dull the blade you are using to threaten me.

BanSoup − Take your own advice too. Cancel the insurance. NTA.

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[Reddit User] − Mom: You turned him against me!. OP: You have done that yourself!. Mom: You will not take him from me! OP: Your anger and your l**t for power have already done that. You have allowed this Facebook rumor to twist your mind, until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.

Mom: Don't lecture me, OP. I see through the lies of the doctors. I do not fear the viruses as you do. I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my home. OP: YOUR home?. Mom: Don't make me ground you. OP: Mom, my trust is in the doctors, in MODERN MEDICINE.

Mom: If you're not with me, then you're my enemy.. OP: Only a Karen deals in absolutes, I will do what I must. Mom: You will try.... I had to take a few creative liberties here, tell me OP, is your mom an antivaxxer? If she isn't, I can edit this a bit.. * Also, NTA.

rusty0123 − NTA.. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Here's your prize, mom! I would suggest you opt out of this stupid game. Use the money you spend on gas, maintenance and insurance to pay for transportation to work.

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(A deal with your sister where you give her a portion of the money you save in exchange for rides might work well for both of you.) Your mother will discover that her power move for control has simply left her with an insurance bill on a car that no one drives or maintains.

Gilrand − Also unless they are willing to sign the car over to you I would end ALL payments on it. Let them fill it with gas, let them pay the insurance, and let them maintain it. If you can't use it don't pay for it.. And NTA...

StarbuckandTex − NTA, cancel the car insurance and get a bike. They want the car, they can pay for it.

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Cardabella − NTA Stop paying for your parents' car, both of you get e-bikes and save the money you're not spending on gas towards security deposit and rent...

Jaehyo-Fan − NTA. And when she takes your car keys away from you, stop payments on things like insurance. And, frankly, don’t take the keys back, save for your own car, just like you’ve advised your sibling.. Alternative to consider: a bike to work.

DoubleBreastedBerb − NTA. Workout supplements just make expensive poohs lol

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Textlover − NTA.. But I dunno, for 3-4 miles you need an Uber or other ride? Take a bicycle.

These Redditors backed the OP’s stand, urging him to ditch car payments or pedal to work on a bike. Some roasted mom’s power plays with Star Wars flair, while others offered practical tips like ride-sharing with his sister. But do these spicy takes capture the whole story, or are they just fueling the fire?

This saga of car keys and family control hits home for anyone navigating the tightrope of parental expectations. The OP’s push to steer his brother clear of a “gift” with strings sparks a bigger question about autonomy versus obligation. His stand shows that sometimes, saying no is the first step to freedom. Have you ever faced a gift that came with hidden costs? Share your stories and thoughts below—what would you do in this situation?

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