AITA for accidentally going to my ex’s wedding?
A woman’s heart sinks as she realizes the groom at a wedding she’s attending with her new boyfriend is her ex, a man she wronged during her drinking days a decade ago. Sober for four years and striving to make amends, she tries to slip out quietly, but his furious outburst—calling her names and claiming she ruined his day—turns a quiet exit into a public scene.
This isn’t just an awkward mix-up—it’s a collision of past sins and present recovery. Her honest mistake, tied to a common name and bad info, stirs old wounds, while Reddit debates her responsibility. Like a sober step faltering in a church aisle, the story probes guilt, forgiveness, and the long shadow of past mistakes.
‘AITA for accidentally going to my ex’s wedding?’
The woman’s unintended attendance at her ex’s wedding was a genuine mistake, driven by a common name and outdated information, not malice. Her ex’s visceral reaction reflects unresolved trauma from her past behavior, which she acknowledges, but his public outburst escalated the situation unnecessarily.
A 2021 study in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 62% of individuals report lingering emotional pain from toxic relationships years later, often triggered by unexpected encounters (Sage Journals, 2021). Dr. Harriet Lerner, a psychologist specializing in relationships, notes, “Recovery involves owning past harm without letting it define you, but victims may need space to heal” (HarrietLerner.com). Her efforts to leave quietly and avoid the reception show respect, though her failure to check the groom’s identity earlier was a minor oversight.
Her ex’s anger, while understandable, doesn’t justify accusing her of intentional sabotage. Her plan to avoid direct contact and have her boyfriend explain via the bride is wise, aligning with AA’s Step 9: making amends without causing further harm. Critics arguing she should’ve double-checked overlook the name’s commonality and her recovery focus.
She should follow through with her sponsor’s guidance, avoiding direct outreach to her ex to prevent re-traumatization, and reflect on how to verify event details in the future. Journaling or AA meetings can process her guilt (AlcoholicsAnonymous.org). Her boyfriend’s support suggests a healthy relationship to lean into.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
Reddit’s serving up a mix of empathy and edge on this wedding snafu, with takes that range from gentle to jagged—dive into the debate!
![[Reddit User] − NAH. I don't fault you for accidentally going to the wedding. I also don't fault your ex for being upset, or your ex for being angry and expressing it to you. You hurt some people before you went into recovery, and those hurts last for a LONG time.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/223335tyt-04.png)
![[Reddit User] − First, congrats on the life change and making amends with people from your past. Also, NTA because how could you have reasonably known that it was going to be HIS wedding?](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/223335tyt-14.png)
![[Reddit User] − Honestly as someone that has been in a extremely toxic relationship YTA Your thought when seeing the invite was your ex, and yet you couldn't have bothered to check with your bf? Couldn't say hey is the groom Mr. ex, I think I know the groom, or anything to confirm it was someone else? It really sounds like you're still minimizing the effect you had on him.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/223335tyt-15.png)
These are Reddit’s rawest opinions, but do they weave the full tapestry of regret and redemption?
This saga of an accidental wedding crash and a fiery ex’s outburst is a poignant tale of recovery clashing with unresolved pain. Reddit mostly absolves the woman, urging her to tread lightly while praising her sobriety.
It’s a stark reminder that past mistakes linger, but so does the chance to grow. How would you handle stumbling into an ex’s big day? Share your thoughts below—let’s untangle this emotional knot!
