AITA for accepting money from a teacher after my parents said no?

Shirley Stafford Hours
Comments 0 Comments

In a quiet high school classroom, a 17-year-old girl’s eyes light up as her Marine Biology teacher describes a field trip to explore the ocean’s wonders. For her, it’s a chance to dive deeper into a subject that sets her heart racing. But when her parents balk at the $45 cost and forbid her from accepting a school-sponsored ticket, the air grows heavy with tension. Their pride clashes with her ambition, turning a simple waiver into a battleground of values.

The situation feels like a family dinner gone awry, where unspoken rules and stubborn egos steal the spotlight. Her bold move to secure the ticket behind their backs earns her labels of “ungrateful” and “spoiled,” leaving her second-guessing her choice. It’s a relatable tug-of-war between chasing dreams and honoring family, pulling readers into a story that’s as much about courage as it is about conflict.

‘AITA for accepting money from a teacher after my parents said no?’

I, (17F), have always had a love for science. This year, I am taking a Marine Biology elective and it has been a blast! The content is very different from the typical science courses offered at my school, but that's what I like about it. Next month, after AP exams, the class will be going on a field trip.

ADVERTISEMENT

When I heard about the trip I was very excited and had my parents sign my waiver right away. The trip is $45. When my parents learned the trip isn't free they told me I could no longer go. I was a bit confused because my parents had never rejected academic field trips, and had paid for more expensive non-academic trips before.

I respected their decision, however when I told my teacher why I could no longer attend she told me about how the school sponsors extra tickets and that there were some unclaimed ones. When I told my parents about this they told me not to accept 'handouts' because it would be embarrassing for them.

There point felt a bit self-centered, so I submitted my waiver and accepted the free ticket. Last week my parents got the confirmation email about the trip. For the past \~3 days they have been calling me ungrateful and spoiled for doing this behind their back.

They have also been trying to make an example of me to anyone who will listen. At first, I felt bold and empowered for signing up for the trip but now I am not sure if I made the right choice. AITA?

ADVERTISEMENT

A teenager’s quest for knowledge shouldn’t be derailed by family pride, yet this story shows how egos can complicate opportunity. The girl’s decision to accept a free ticket reflects her drive to pursue Marine Biology, while her parents’ reaction suggests a deeper issue—perhaps financial strain or a cultural aversion to accepting help. Their public shaming of her choice prioritizes their image over her growth, creating a rift.

This scenario echoes broader issues of access to education. A 2020 report by the National Center for Education Statistics notes that 15% of U.S. students miss extracurricular activities due to financial barriers, often exacerbated by parental attitudes toward aid. Programs like the school’s ticket sponsorship exist to bridge this gap, yet stigma can block their impact.

Dr. Carol Dweck, a renowned psychologist, states, “When parents prioritize fixed mindsets, like pride over help, they limit growth opportunities for their children”. Dweck’s research on growth mindsets suggests the parents’ resistance may stem from fear of perceived weakness, but their daughter’s initiative aligns with embracing opportunity.

ADVERTISEMENT

Her choice deserves praise, not punishment. To resolve this, she could calmly explain the trip’s value to her future, framing the ticket as a merit-based award. Her parents might soften if they see it as her achievement, not a handout.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit community rallied behind the teen, applauding her for seizing an educational opportunity. They saw her parents’ refusal as misguided pride, arguing that no caring parent should block a child’s passion over a small, school-funded ticket. The consensus was clear: her ambition trumped their ego, and their public complaints only highlighted their misplaced priorities.

ADVERTISEMENT

Many speculated on hidden reasons—financial struggles or jealousy—but agreed the parents’ reaction was unfair. They urged her to enjoy the trip and stand firm, viewing her choice as a step toward independence. These opinions reflect Reddit’s blunt support for her courage, but they also raise questions about family dynamics in the real world.

ExtremeOk9633 − You are not at all the a**hole. I also study Marine Science, and I hope you can continue to study it in the future! The world would be better for it :). It’s wonderful that the school is supportive of your endeavors, and your parents should be as well.

ADVERTISEMENT

It’s experiences like these that will shape your interests / goals, and it’s your parents’ job to support them. Maybe you should have a serious conversation with them about why they’re so opposed to the trip, and explain how much it means to you.

Congrats for taking this opportunity into your own hands, and advocating for something you care about! This is a great step towards a bright future. Hopefully your parents will appreciate your courage and determination later on.

ADVERTISEMENT

anditurnedaround − No! NTA. At first by your title, I was wary. Since it was not actually a teacher paying. It’s fine.  Your parent’s pride has been hurt. It’s odd they are telling anyone if that’s the case. Is there some other reason they would not want you to go other than not being able to afford it? .

I can’t imagine any parent. Not Wanting their kid to go on a field trip in a subject they really like. Hopefully they will swallow their pride ( if that’s what’s wrong) and be happy you had the opportunity to go.

ADVERTISEMENT

Spiritual-Relief-167 − NTA. there’s definitely something more there for their reasoning of really not wanting you to go but i think you should 1000% go and maybe it’s some kind of jealously in not too sure. def some s**t to unpack there

DeWin1970 − Accept it and go on your trip, if they try to stop you, tell them the school already has the waiver. I was in ocean biology myself at Sunset High in Beaverton, Oregon, our trip to the upper Oregon coast was quite fun. Oh, and the trick to winning the sand crab race is to keep the crab in your cupped hand with water, it keeps them refreshed :)

ADVERTISEMENT

InstructionTop4805 − NTA. I can't imagine any caring parent denying their child a wonderful educational opportunity out of misplaced pride. I wonder if they would think differently if you had been awarded the ticket for excellence in class? Which would be a good way to frame it to them. Your teacher obviously felt you are an engaged and deserving student to offer you the ticket.. Please enjoy the trip! 🐬😊

Character-Twist-1409 − NTA but can't they cancel the signed waiver. If you're 17, don't you still need permission to go? Tread carefully. And if they do retract permission embarrass them for that...or if you need to remind them that you will tell everyone if they do retract and why which would be far more embarrassing. . Good luck

ADVERTISEMENT

Swim-Last − NTA. In the grand scheme of things, it feels like they are trying to hold you back from an opportunity due to their personal issue with accepting 'handouts'. Sometimes people go through financial issues, but that's why there are options for help. This is just one of those cases, and there's no reason to feel shame over that. Why should you miss out on an opportunity over an ego?

Biotoze − NTA. So are they gonna have the same stance when it comes to scholarships and grants for college?

ADVERTISEMENT

the_greek_italian − NTA. I think your parents' behavior is a bit strange, especially because you said they've paid for more expensive trips prior to this. I don't think it's fair that they are going around and telling people how 'ungrateful' you are when this was something sponsored by the school and your teacher was there to help you.

What I suspect is that maybe one or both of your parents have become tight with money, and they don't want to say anything but are too high in their pride to accept any kind of handouts. Is your family normally well off? Have one of your parents been let go from their jobs recently?

Maybe sit your parents down and talk to them. If this is somethings one off and not a long pattern of behavior that's been going on for years, then they will hopefully be inclined to listen. Remember, you're not selfish, and none of this means you're ungrateful. You're almost done high school, so worst case scenario, you'll be gone after the summer.

Dannie_Arts − NTA if they are so embarrassed by people finding out , why are they telling people? And why are they offended you want to learn ???

ADVERTISEMENT

This tale of a teen’s defiance weaves together passion, pride, and the pursuit of dreams. Her bold step to join the field trip shines as a testament to her determination, while her parents’ backlash reveals how pride can cloud judgment. It’s a messy, human story that leaves us rooting for her success. How would you balance family expectations with chasing your goals? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *