AITA for accepting a Mother’s Day gift from my ex-husband?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In the soft glow of a Mother’s Day morning, a mom of two toddlers unwrapped a thoughtful surprise: a miniature rose bush and three heartfelt cards—one from her ex-husband and one from each of their young children. The gesture, a nod to her dedication as a parent, warmed her heart, reflecting the harmony she and her ex have built through co-parenting. Their messy divorce was behind them, replaced by park outings and mutual respect for their kids’ sake.

But the joy wilted when her boyfriend erupted, calling the gift inappropriate and ending their relationship in a heated argument. Caught between celebrating her role as a mom and navigating her partner’s insecurities, she turned to Reddit to unpack the fallout. This story dives into the delicate balance of co-parenting and new romance, inviting readers to weigh in on where gratitude ends and boundaries begin.

‘AITA for accepting a Mother’s Day gift from my ex-husband?’

My ex-husband gave me three cards (one from him and each of our kids) and a miniature rose bush for Mother’s Day. The kids’ cards just said that I do a lot for them and his just said he was thankful that I’m a good mom and was excited to see us again. (We still do family outings like going to the park).

My boyfriend broke up with me because he said it was inappropriate and that I should never have accepted them. It just blew up into a big argument. I told him his feelings were valid and we’d work through it and talk about it. Was it inappropriate?. AITA?.

Edit: Holy cow, this BLEW UP. Thank you all for your inputs! (Ex)boyfriend and I talked about it and he was concerned because my ex-husband and I’s split was initially really messy and only recently have started to co-parent well.

I should’ve added that my children are 1 & 2, and how he grew up they didn’t really make Mother’s Day a big deal, so to receive cards from my toddlers and a gift meant to be from all was odd to him.. I’m still not sure how to handle the situation.

Edit 2: Since many are wondering... (Ex)boyfriend DID get me something for Mother’s Day. Flowers and chocolate covered strawberries. He also seemed to have a nice dinner planned. It was lovely until the break up part.

This Mother’s Day drama underscores the complexities of blending co-parenting with new relationships. The OP’s acceptance of a rose bush and cards from her ex-husband was a gesture of respect for her parenting, not a romantic overture. Her boyfriend’s extreme reaction—ending the relationship—suggests insecurity rather than a genuine breach of boundaries, especially given the OP’s efforts to validate his feelings and discuss the issue.

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Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “Successful partnerships require trust and acceptance of each other’s pasts, including co-parenting responsibilities”. A 2023 study from the American Psychological Association found 65% of step-parents struggle with jealousy over ex-partner interactions, highlighting the boyfriend’s challenge. His cultural background, where Mother’s Day wasn’t emphasized, may have amplified his discomfort with the gesture.

The broader issue reflects the challenges of co-parenting in new relationships. The OP’s ex-husband modeled healthy behavior for their children by honoring her role, a practice supported by a 2021 Journal of Family Psychology study showing that positive co-parenting boosts child well-being. The boyfriend’s inability to accept this dynamic suggests he may not be equipped for a relationship involving young kids and an involved co-parent.

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To move forward, the OP could reflect on partners who embrace her co-parenting reality, prioritizing open communication about boundaries. While the breakup stings, it may signal a mismatch in values.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s community overwhelmingly supported the OP, praising her ex-husband’s gesture as a model of respectful co-parenting. Commenters called the boyfriend’s breakup impulsive and rooted in jealousy, arguing he failed to grasp the realities of dating a parent. Many saw the gift as a positive example for the kids, showing kindness despite a past divorce.

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The crowd viewed the boyfriend’s exit as a red flag, suggesting his insecurity would clash with the OP’s ongoing co-parenting needs. They urged her to seek a partner who celebrates her role as a mom and respects her ex’s place in their children’s lives. These lively takes highlight a shared belief: co-parenting harmony trumps romantic possessiveness.

philliamm96 − NTA Your ex is showing your kids that even though you may not be together it’s good to respect one another. He wrote a thoughtful card and it’s a lovely gesture. You reacting fondly shows them that you can still be friends and co parent.

Your kids will remember that even though you guys may not be together anymore you still treat each other with kindness and that’s lovely. Your boyfriend knew you had an ex husband and kids I don’t know what he expected. Would he rather you were in a heated custody battle only talking through the kids?

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your ex sounds like someone attempting to successfully co parent with you.. Your ex boyfriend sounds incredibly insecure

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Your ex boyfriend did you a favour by bouncing out of there. Your ex husband did the right thing by acknowledging the day and your kids will benefit from it in the future.

[Reddit User] − NTA, wether he likes it or not, your (ex) boyfriend is(was) in a relationship with someone that has children and those children have a father. We hear so many stories of exs that can't co-parent without fighting, I think it's amazing that you and your children's father get along so well that you are able to co-parent in harmony and give what's best to your Kids.

I think it's very thoughtful of him to celebrate your quality as a mother. If your boyfriend has a problem with that, then he is not a good fit to be a step parent and be a positive presence in your kids life. He is Ta, not you, your ex or your children.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Your ex modeling respect for his kids mother is doing them a real service. However, I can see how it could be upsetting to your current boyfriend. Especially if he's never been divorced with children?. He does need to get over it though.

deepsleepsheepmeep − NTA. Your ex did a nice thing, and the fact that you co-parent so well is admirable. Your boyfriend is jealous and insecure. If he can't get over himself, you are better off without him.

misternizz − NTA. You are still the mother of this man’s children. He wasn’t giving you a gift for any other reason than that. He’s basically saying he acknowledges being good parents is a very separate issue from the divorce.

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TBH I think your boyfriend is the overreacting a**hole in this scenario. You two will be connected for a long time as coparents. Your bf has to acknowledge that. It would be a dealbreaker for me. I thought a rose bush was a nice, appropriate gift.

SportsPlantsCoffee − You are definitely NOT an a**hole! It's mother's day and you are the mother of you ex's children. Your ex is setting an excellent example for the kids to follow. Regardless of your current romantic status, you are still co-parenting, you should thank and respect each other for what you do for the family.

The gift was appropriate, not over the top. Your current partner should be happy you get along with the ex instead of intense 'baby daddy drama'. Even if your current partner has other issues with the ex, or suspicious he wants you back

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Mother's Day is not the appropriate day to air that out. It's not like its Valentine's day. You need a partner who can graciously accept that your ex is your children's father and will be in your life because of that.

Yaaauw − I told him his feelings were valid. They're not. This is not the kind of man who can truly accept you have a good relationship with with your ex husband, especially for the sake of your children.. He's an ex-boyfriend, leave it that way.. NTA

notadoctorshhhhhhh − Not inappropriate at all. He sounds like he has jealousy issues he needs to work out in therapy, there's nothing wrong with accepting a gift that's supposed to be from your kids that also happens to include a very civil, platonically worded card. If he broke up with you over something that harmless, he may have also been looking for something to get him out anyway.

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This story of a Mother’s Day gift gone awry reveals the tightrope of blending co-parenting with new romance. The OP’s choice to accept her ex’s gesture sparks a question: how do you navigate kindness from an ex when a new partner objects? Share your thoughts below have you faced tension balancing co-parenting and love?

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