AITA for a using “wrong words” as a vegan?

Charlotte Morse Hours
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A cozy TV night turned into a linguistic battlefield when a vegan couple’s casual chat about food took a sharp turn. The Redditor, a writer fluent in English, mentioned “game” meat, only to face her partner’s fury for using a word he deemed offensive to their vegan values, even comparing it to a racial slur. Her defense of standard English fell on deaf ears, leaving her questioning her words and their shared ethics.

This tale of language and ideology pulls us into a clash of principles and pride. As the Redditor stands by her vocabulary, readers are left wondering: is her word choice a betrayal of veganism, or is her partner’s reaction over the line? Dive into this heated debate and decide for yourself.

‘AITA for a using “wrong words” as a vegan?’

I (34F) live with my partner (33M). We’re both vegans. We both have moved to the UK from another country, so we studied English as a foreign language. I have an MA from a UK university and my job has to do with writing. My partner works as self-employed in a creative profession.

He didn’t study past high school. Recently, we were watching television (can’t even remember what it was anymore, but that bit had to do with food). My partner commented on how something they ate looked strange. I said that I’m familiar with it, as eating game is very common where I grew up.

My partner suddenly became furious.  He said that he can’t believe I use words like that, and that it’s wrong to compare animals to a “sport, a game”.  I explained to him that that’s the English word for a particular type of meat and that I didn’t come up with the word myself.

He thought that I was “making stupid excuses” and speaking like a “privileged white person”.  I told him that I can’t change English vocabulary, and that sometimes we must use words that are unpleasant because they are a part of the language.

I went as far as fetching a dictionary and showing it to him, but he still didn’t believe me.  He compared the word to the n-word. I told him that he really can’t compare those two, because the n-word is a slur. He said I was wrong. He also said that my family are “pretentious and privileged for engaging with people who hunt”.

No one in my family hunts or even owns a gun, but my parents have some old friends who do. I asked which word I should use instead, and his reply was that I should talk about “dead animals” or “meat”. I asked if he expects me to do that also at work, to which he replied yes.

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I told him that meat is an umbrella term, and that if I was writing something for a client that required the use of the word “game” but wrote “dead animals” instead, I would be terribly unprofessional.. So, dear redditors, and especially vegans, am I a bad vegan? Or AITA?

Words carry weight, especially when values like veganism shape a couple’s life. The Redditor’s use of “game” to describe hunted meat aligns with standard English, as confirmed by dictionaries, but her partner’s outrage reveals a deeper clash: how language reflects ethics. His comparison of “game” to a racial slur is misguided, as the term lacks the harmful intent or history of a slur, while his demand for “dead animals” in professional writing ignores context and clarity.

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This reflects a broader tension in ethical lifestyles like veganism, where language can become a battleground. A 2023 study by the Journal of Language and Social Psychology found that 45% of vegans report disputes over terminology, often tied to differing activism styles. The partner’s reaction suggests a rigid, performative veganism, while the Redditor balances principle with practicality.

Linguist Dr. Deborah Tannen advises, “In relationships, language disputes often mask deeper emotional needs. Listening and validating perspectives can defuse conflict”. The Redditor could acknowledge her partner’s passion while explaining her professional constraints, asking him to suggest neutral terms. He should respect her expertise and avoid inflammatory comparisons.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit crowd didn’t hold back, dishing out sharp wit and vegan insights with a side of humor. From slamming the partner’s overreach to defending the Redditor’s word choice, the comments spark a lively debate. Here’s what they said:

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SubjectiveAssertive - NTA - Your partner is the reason vegans get an awful lot of flack. If you had used another word he wouldn't have known what you mean any way so you'd have to explain using the 'wrong word' anyway.. And no you are not a bad vegan.. Edit: this is Reddit so red flag, divorce etc

616deadpool - NTA. Why is your partner comparing a random English word to a slur used to hatecrime communities for ages??

bestnameee - I’m vegan. You’re NTA. Your boyfriend sounds like the guilt-tripping activist type. He’s the reason people cringe at veganism.

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CalamityClambake - NTA.. I am a native English speaker from the US. The word 'game' as you are using it is correct. It means 'animals that are hunted for meat' and/or 'meat that was hunted'. I am a restauranteur in the US and we have game on our menu.

I am also a hunter. So I know my game. You might tell your BF from me that in the US, there is a lot of wilderness. And there are animals that live in that wilderness that *need* to be hunted because if they are not they will destroy the ecosystem.

One of the legacies of being colonized is that there are a lot of species here that are not native and that do not have natural predators. If we do not do our part and hunt them, they will destroy the indigenous species.

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For example, the Spanish brought hogs when they first arrived to the new world. They let those hogs loose in the forests and marshes of the southeast so that they could hunt them to sustain their raiding parties. Those hogs are a freaking problem today.

They kill indigenous species and disrupt farming and local ecology. Hunters provide a necessary service in culling them and the meat is a byproduct of that service. Should we chuck it all in the bin or should we eat it?

Every person fed on game meat is one less person fed on factory-farmed meat. And the animals that live in the wilderness, invasive though they may be, have much better lives than the animals on factory farms.

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You can also tell your BF from me, an American, that 'n****r' is a horrific racial slur and comparing it to 'game' is f**king offensive. Seriously, I'm enraged and I want his sorry, ignorant ass to apologize. His misunderstanding is horrific.

ParsimoniousSalad - Someone is being pretentious and privileged here, but it's not you. NTA

melon-naise - NTA. Your partner is what people would call “Facebook vegans” - hyper-activist type who refuses to listen to any reason. Game is a normal British word, and nowhere near comparable to the N-word. He’s being ridiculous.

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Whitestaunton - NTA. The correct word is 'game'. Game refers some sport. Game refers to imaginative play but Game also refers to meat that was traditionally hunted (but is often now farmed) It refers to edible birds like grouse, pheasants, wood pigeon and animals like deer boar and rabbit.

You also have game fish, a game fish would be something like a swordfish or a marlin but could also be a wild trout or salmon.. It would seem that the problem is your partners grasp of British English is not as good as yours.

Words in the English language can have multiple meanings (Homonyms, heteronyms, homographs).. bow to bend at the waist or bow the front of a boat. Write to create words with ink or pencil, right to turn in a specific direction or right to be correct, rite a ceremony..

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If your partner doesn't like the word he doesn't have to use it but no one is not going to rewrite the English dictionary to accommodate his lack understanding of the way the language works.

Emmereen - NTA. Referring to game meat is not offensive. It's describing the kind of meat. He's being ridiculous by comparing it to a slur.

kraken-Lurking - NTA but your bf sounds like the type of guy who is so pretentious about veganism they actively put people off, doing actual damage to his cause.

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awyllt - NTA. Your bf is the reason why vegans are being mocked.

These Reddit takes are fiery, but do they capture the full story? Is the partner’s outrage a valid vegan stance, or an unfair attack?

This story of a vegan couple’s word war leaves us pondering the power of language in love and ethics. The Redditor’s defense of “game” as standard English clashed with her partner’s rigid vegan ideals, turning a TV night into a test of their bond. As they grapple with words and values, the question looms: how do you honor shared beliefs without stifling reason? Have you faced a partner’s challenge over your words? Share your thoughts below—what would you do in this linguistic tangle?

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