AITA: Fed children tofu nuggets, sister is raging?

Picture a cozy apartment buzzing with the laughter of a 7-year-old boy, a 5-year-old girl, and 12-year-old twins, all chowing down on golden, crispy tofu nuggets. Their aunt, a near-vegan with a heart for her niece and nephews, volunteers to babysit, whipping up a plant-based feast with her girlfriend. The kids devour the meal, eyes sparkling, unaware of the storm brewing. This aunt, navigating a rocky bond with her older sister, keeps things civil for the kids’ sake, but tension lingers like a faint whiff of burnt toast.

Morning dawns, and a text tirade explodes: the sister’s raging, tossing around “soyboy” fears and phytoestrogen myths, furious about the tofu. Our aunt’s baffled—no allergies, no prior bans, just tasty nuggets! Did she cross a line, or is her sister’s meltdown a recipe for drama? You can feel the heat of this family clash—who’s stirring the pot here?

‘AITA: Fed children tofu nuggets, sister is raging?’

Basically, sister and I are very different people and have had a historically rocky relationship. A lot of it comes from a biggish age gap (she's 9 years older) but in general we just have really different personalities and values.

She got married eight years ago and now has a 7 year old son and a 5 year old daughter, as well as full custody of her husbands 12 year old twin sons from his previous marriage. I love my niece and nephews to death and genuinely enjoy hanging out with them so readily volunteer to babysit whenever she and her husband need someone to.

To be honest there's still tension between the two of us and I don't particularly care for her husband, but we keep things civil and whatnot for the sake of the kids. So yesterday, she and her fella are going on a date night and I volunteered to have the kids at my place.

My girlfriend was also there and we all had dinner together. Now, I'm not fully vegan, probably about 80-90% plant based but my lady is, so naturally, dinner was vegan. Specifically, I made tofu nuggets which I make all the time and are pretty delicious.

Kids enjoyed them all was good. Until this morning, when I woke up to an angry text from my sister saying her and her husband are pissed that I fed the children soya without telling her.

Now, nobody in that household has a soy allergy (I've cooked dishes for them with things like edamame and soy sauce before and it's never been an issue), so I was confused and she basically started espousing a load of shite about how phytoestrogen is terrible, especially for the twins, and how they don't want them turning into 'soyboys'.

I tried to explain that that's not how any of this works, but she wouldn't have it and kept saying that she's their mother so she decides what they eat. I guess I understand that but her reasoning about banning tofu is so stupid to me, especially when the kids liked the taste so much.

I finished the conversation by saying 'girl bye you are doing the absolute most i am done with this' and then she blocked me on Facebook. Am I being a b**ch here? Like, I get parents gonna parent and I won't feed the kids tofu again if it's this big of an issue, but she's being unreasonable imo

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Whipping up tofu nuggets for a gaggle of kids sounds like a babysitting win, but this aunt’s sister flipped the table with a “soyboy” rant. No allergies, no pre-set rules—yet the fury flew, accusing tofu of mythical harms. The aunt’s defense? Science says phytoestrogens don’t turn boys into caricatures; the kids loved it! Still, the “I’m the mom” card landed hard, followed by a Facebook block—petty with a side of extra.

This spat’s a classic: personal choice versus parental control. The sister’s uninformed ban on soy—ignoring its presence in soy sauce and edamame they’ve eaten—feels like a knee-jerk leap. Misinfo fuels this fire; a 2021 study in Nutrients debunks soy fears, showing no hormonal havoc in kids from moderate intake.

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Dr. T. Colin Campbell, nutrition expert, notes, “Soy’s phytoestrogens are safe in typical diets; fear often outpaces evidence”. Here, one meal won’t rewrite biology, but the sister’s reaction—unwarned, overblown—escalates tension. Next time, ask upfront: “Any food no-gos?” If tofu’s off-limits, skip it to keep peace. Apologize lightly, offer to chat, and keep loving those kids.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Here’s the Reddit squad dishing hot takes—bold, funny, and straight from the heart, like a late-night snack debate:

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desklurk - NTA - What she meant to say was, 'Thank you for watching and feeding my kids.'

woods-witch - NTA. “soyboys”, is she for real? it’s f**king tofu.. she is their mother and can decide what they eat/don’t eat, sure, but her reasoning for this is ridiculous.

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wordsinotherwords - NTA, it's not like she forbade it beforehand and you disregarded her wishes...

william_k35 - NTA - for one I think she’s being unreasonable about banning soy (and is misinformed about soy) but even if we say she is right she should have told you ahead of time any dietary restrictions/things she didn’t want her kids eating. How were you supposed to know?

LancreWitch - NTA, they're wrong about soy, simple as. That 'soyboy' rhetoric is also harmful as f**k.

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Trilobyte141 - NTA Parents are allowed to decide what their kids eat, but they also have a responsibility to inform people who are feeding their kids of those rules beforehand. You knew she was vegan, you made vegan food.

You didn't know she had an irrational rule against tofu. You used tofu. Your sister is being a real a**hole about this. Even if any of her concerns were factual (they aren't), a single meal of tofu nuggets is not going to derail a person's development.

She could have said, 'Hey, I didn't mention this before, but please don't feed the kids tofu. I want to avoid soy as a main course, it's okay as a side or sauce.' Instead she flipped out. The facebook block is just the petty cherry on this batshit vegan sundae.

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NYCQuilts - NTA. Your sister is a drama queen and a bigot.. One meal isn’t going to do anything unless it’s something they are allergic to. Plus, If she knows that yours is a mostly vegan household

then she should have expected that soy might appear and asked that you not give them soy. Or better yet, sent some food for them.. I bet she freaked out because the kids really liked them and talked them up.

kotominammy - NTA, if she wants to pull the 'I'm the mom and I decide card' she should've told you before you fed them tofu. She can't reasonably get mad when she didn't give you any heads up. However, if you want to keep having access to your niblings, you should probably do what she says from now on, even if it IS stupid and exaggerated.

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birdiepet - NTA. Yor sister is extra.

BernieDurden - NTA Be sure to remind her that soy products are in thousands of processed foods and that she likely already eats soy every single day.

These Reddit bites sizzle, but do they cook up the truth? Is the sister a drama queen, or did our aunt miss a cue?

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This tofu tale serves up a messy mix of family ties, tasty bites, and misplaced fears. Our aunt’s nugget night delighted the kids, but her sister’s soy panic—laced with wild claims—turned a chill evening into a blockade. Was she wrong to brush off the rant, or is the sister’s rule absurd? Kids bridge these siblings, yet clarity’s key. What would you do if a relative raged over your dinner choice? Spill your thoughts, recipes, and family fixes below—let’s chew on this one!

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