AITA cause I left yesterday to go eat by my moms house when my wife cooked something?

The sun dips low, signaling the end of a long Ramadan fast, and the aroma of home-cooked food fills the air—except it’s not quite hitting the mark. A newlywed Redditor, fasting devoutly, faced this moment when his wife’s chicken pasta dish fell flat on his taste buds. Instead of toughing it out, he bolted to his mom’s house for a familiar feast, leaving his wife’s efforts in the dust. Ouch.

This isn’t just about a bad meal; it’s a clash of expectations, cultural nuances, and hurt feelings. The wife, new to marriage and not Muslim, poured her heart into cooking, only to feel dismissed. The Reddit community didn’t hold back, roasting the OP for his tactless exit. Readers are hooked, wondering: was it just a hunger-driven misstep, or a deeper failure to appreciate his wife’s effort?

‘AITA cause I left yesterday to go eat by my moms house when my wife cooked something?’

I am fasting for Ramadan, my wife is not muslim and we got married end of last year. She does not cook well... at all. She puts in effort though and has always wanted to become a good cook. Some stuff she can make well like desserts but when it comes to food she's not good.

Yesterday she cooked something and when it was time to break my fast I thought it was bad. She made this pasta and chicken and I just didn't like the way it tasted. My mom lives near us and cooks everyday so I told her I'm probably just going to go to my moms to eat, and she can come too if she wants.

She said no, and I didn't understand she was mad until after I came home and she wouldn't talk to me.  Now I found out that she was mad that I left yesterday to eat, and said she'll never cook anything for me again because I am ungrateful.

This kitchen kerfuffle is less about pasta and more about respect in a new marriage. The OP’s dash to his mom’s house wasn’t just a quest for better food—it was a stinging rejection of his wife’s effort. “Cooking for a partner is an act of love, and dismissing it can feel like dismissing their care,” says relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, quoted in The Gottman Institute. His research shows that small acts of gratitude strengthen marriages, while criticism erodes trust.

The OP’s wife, a non-Muslim navigating her husband’s Ramadan fasting, likely felt exposed trying to cook something special. His blunt exit, especially to his mother’s, amplified her insecurity—data from Psychology Today suggests 40% of new couples struggle with balancing family ties and spousal loyalty. Cultural differences add spice: fasting may have left the OP hangry, but his dismissal ignored his wife’s attempt to connect across their backgrounds.

This story reflects a broader issue: how do couples bridge culinary and cultural gaps? Dr. Gottman advises “turning toward” a partner’s efforts, even imperfect ones, to build connection. The OP could have gently praised her effort while suggesting tweaks, like adjusting spices. Cooking together, as recommended by Bon Appétit, could turn a sore spot into a bonding ritual. For now, an apology and a plan—like watching cooking tutorials together—could mend the rift.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit swung in like a potluck with opinions hotter than a fresh-baked casserole. The community dished out some tough love, serving up a mix of scolding and sage advice for the OP’s dinnertime dash. Here’s the raw scoop, straight from the crowd:

[Reddit User] − YTA and as a fellow muslim, I'm sure you know the word rahma (mercy). Try have some of that on your wife, btw is something stopping you cooking or you are just fitting the stereotype?  I wouldn't cook anything for you again either because you were ungrateful. Also going to your mother in these times makes you double TA.

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milee30 − Ouch. If your wife doesn't cook in a way you approve, why can't you cook something for both of you rather than setting her up for constant failure and then rubbing it in by leaving to get your mommy to make you food? YTA.

Tanjential_wons − YTA. You are married now, so act like it. If you are the better cook, you can always do it and she can clean up, and/or you could show her some tricks. If you are both terrible, then you both need to develop the life skill together. You come off very entitled and immature.

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khguy06 − YTA. I understand not wanting to eat food you don't like, but to so blatantly say 'I don't like what you make so I'm going to eat someone else's food' is suuuuuuuuper messed up. Maybe go to some couple cooking classes or something?

[Reddit User] − **YTA. Cooking, like all other things, is a LEARNED SKILL. Your mom did not come waltzing into her own marriage being a veteran cook. It took her YEARS to get as good as she is, like it will take your wife years to as well.

But you letting your poor wife go to the trouble to make you a meal just to basically spit in her face by saying 'I like my mommy's food better.' and then just getting up and leaving.... DUDE. How can you even WONDER if you're the a**hole or not??

*Apologize to your wife and be GRATEFUL.* And if you'd like her to improve then ENCOURAGE her to improve. Take her to a cooking class as a couple thing. Don't just be a d**k and then turn tail and run to your mom's place. Or cook your own food jfc.

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tranzozo − Yknow the purpose of Ramadan is to feel the pain of starving people, and to be grateful for the food you have on your table.  She is your wife not a restaurant where you leave if you dont like the food! Not only you disrespected her efforts, you also hurt her feelings. Cook your own food next time, maybe then you’ll appreciate the effort extended to you. YTA

Happy-Judgment − YTA, she tried hard to make a nice meal. If you don't like her cooking why don't you cook? Or why don't both of you take a couple of cooking classes together?

synthgender − YTA. You don't necessarily have to grin and bear it, but having other cooking compared so directly to your mother's probably sucked and was an insult when she was trying to do something nice for you. It sounds like that's also something she's got some insecurity about,

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and frankly, I wouldn't try for you either if that were your response.  For the future, discuss non-hurtful ways that you can help her improve her cooking, like describing what parts you liked more or less so she knows for next time, or cook together.

formtuv − YTA and you’re probably a non-white Muslim. One that was babied by his mother and wasn’t even taught to fry an egg. You don’t like the way your wife cooks? WHY DONT YOU LEARN? why don’t you take classes together or watch some videos online?

I don’t even want to hear “oh I’m fasting I’m tired” when your mother is fasting and cooking a whole ass meal. I’m going to offend lots of people by saying this but this is why I didn’t marry within my Arab race. Most men are entitled and selfish and way too dependent.

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DrunkMarcAntony − YTA. Apparently married men are stupid in every culture. This is hilarious to someone that has been married 15 years tho.

These Redditors didn’t mince words, calling the OP out for trampling his wife’s feelings while waving the flag of mom’s cooking. Some saw cultural entitlement, others just immaturity, but most agreed: gratitude trumps taste buds. Do these spicy takes capture the whole dish, or are they just stirring the pot?

This tale of a Ramadan meal gone wrong is a reminder that marriage is a team sport, not a food critic’s game. The OP’s hunger led him to his mom’s table, but his wife’s hurt feelings deserve a seat too. A little empathy could’ve turned a bad dish into a shared laugh. How would you navigate a partner’s effort that misses the mark? Share your stories and tips below!

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