AITA Cause I (35F) told my sister(26F) that I don’t want to babysit my nephew?

A sun-dappled backyard, a cozy cluster of family homes, and the soft coos of a newborn should paint a picture of domestic bliss. Yet, for one 35-year-old woman, this idyllic scene has turned into a battleground of family expectations. Living on shared family land, she’s been the go-to babysitter for her sister’s 2-month-old son, juggling all-nighters and endless days of childcare while jobless and job-hunting. Her generosity, however, has hit a wall—her sister’s casual “one-hour” errands stretch into marathon absences, leaving her feeling more like a second mom than an aunt.

The tension boiled over when she finally drew a line: no more babysitting beyond an hour. Her sister’s response? A stinging rebuke that aunts should want to bond with their nephews. The Reddit community buzzed with opinions, and readers can’t help but wonder: is she wrong for wanting her life back, or is her sister leaning too hard on family ties? This tale of boundaries and blurred roles is one many can relate to.

‘AITA Cause I (35F) told my sister(26F) that I don’t want to babysit my nephew?’

Let me first describe the living situation. My dad has alot of land around the primary house where he lives, so he gave my sister and I portion, I built my house and she and her husband built there's. We're basically all neighbours. My sister gave birth to my nephew after trying for 3 years, he's now 2months old.

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I've been babysitting him since he was born, since she brought him home. I would do all nighters looking after him while my sister and her husband slept. I'm talking 8 hours. This is due to the fact that right now I am unemployed, I lost my job due to covid, but I am actively looking for employment currently,so I was able to give my time to them.

My problem is now, I am tired of seeming as though I am my nephew's mother when I spend 8 hours plus with him, either at night or during the day. I spoke to my sister about it and she's mad at me and told me that I'm his aunt I should want to spent time with him.

I should also mention my sister is a stay at home mom. I don't mind helping out, but she's starting to take advantage. She'll show up at my house with my nephew and be like 'we're going to the store, we'll be an hour, just watch him for me.' that one hour turned into 8hours!!!

When she got back I told her she lied to me and what happened to just being gone for an hour. I then told her I can't babysit anymore for longer than an hour. AITA? I know first time mothers need a break, but the amount of hours I put in a day looking after my nephew and helping out, seems like a full time job that I am not getting paid to do.

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Family dynamics can feel like walking a tightrope, especially when a newborn enters the mix. This Reddit user’s struggle highlights a classic clash: the expectation to help versus the right to set boundaries. Her sister, a new mom, may be grappling with the overwhelming demands of parenthood, but leaning heavily on her unemployed sibling has tipped the scales into unfair territory. The sister’s lie about a quick errand stretching to 8 hours signals a deeper issue—disrespect for boundaries.

This situation reflects a broader societal tension: the assumption that family, especially women, should provide free labor. According to a 2023 study by the Pew Research Center, 60% of women report feeling pressured to take on unpaid caregiving roles within families (pewresearch.org). Dr. Susan Newman, a social psychologist, notes, “Family members often exploit proximity and availability, assuming help is an obligation rather than a choice” (psychologytoday.com). In this case, the sister’s reliance on her aunt’s availability risks resentment, potentially straining their bond.

The Reddit user’s decision to limit babysitting to an hour is a healthy step toward reclaiming her autonomy. Experts suggest clear communication to reset expectations—perhaps a sit-down to discuss schedules or even compensation for extended care. Setting firm boundaries now can preserve family harmony while honoring her own needs.

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For the sister, this could be a chance to explore external support, like parenting groups or professional childcare. Both parties need to recognize that love for a child doesn’t mean limitless availability. A balanced approach—where help is offered but not demanded—could mend this rift and foster mutual respect.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit hive mind didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of sass and sympathy. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

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goldiefelix − NTA. You’re definitely being taken advantage of and it’s not fair.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Please show me the law that states being an aunt means you have to babysit your nephew. She tried for 3 years to have a baby. Now that he is here she wants to pawn his care off onto you. Don't allow her to manipulate or guilt you into taking care of her child. Your nephew has two parents and they need to figure out childcare.

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tothegarbage2 − NTA. Your sister has a sweet deal going on right now and she’s trying to milk it super hard. Also, saying an hour and leaving for 8 is super s**tty. You guys gotta hash out some boundaries here because it sounds like the situation started without them, and it’s morphed into something lousy

[Reddit User] − NTA.. Why did she have a kid ?. Better question : Why didn't you ask to be paid ?

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shanna811 − NTA but tell her the first hour is free but after that it’s $20 an hour or part there of. Overnights are triple rate. If she wants someone to watch her 2 month old over night hire a night nurse or be like every other parent with a newborn suck it up you can sleep when they move out.

poeadam − Very clearly NTA You have offered a lot of free labor and your sister hasn’t been appreciative and has even lied to get additional free labor out of you. And then when you stood up for yourself she tried to turn it around and make it like you are the bad person in this situation. Not cool, sis. Not cool.

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runedued − NTA. Don’t answer the door. Being a parent is tough but they need to toughen up.

[Reddit User] − Your sister is taking advantage of you. NTA.

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designated_floater − NTA. It sounds like your sister is taking massive advantage of the situation. I feel bad for your nephew who is caught in the middle of this. He will not understand when you have you have to draw a hard line in the sand and the person who has been acting as his mother nearly disappears.

ingirlworld − she's mad at me and told me that I'm his aunt I should want to spent time with him.. She's his mother, she should want to spend time with him. NTA

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These hot takes from Reddit are spicy, but do they capture the full picture? The consensus leans hard into supporting boundaries, but real life is rarely so black-and-white. Still, the community’s wit and candor make for a lively debate!

This family saga reminds us that love and limits can coexist, but it takes guts to draw the line. The Reddit user’s stand against being an unpaid, full-time nanny sparks a bigger question about family roles and fairness. Should aunts be expected to step into parental shoes, or is it okay to say, “I love you, but I need a break”? What would you do if you were stuck in this babysitting bind? Share your thoughts and experiences—let’s keep the conversation going!

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