AITA because my sister is refusing to eat?

A 20-year-old woman turned to a social network with a troubling family situation involving her younger sister. The 14-year-old, who once loved cooking and sharing meals with the family, had gradually stopped eating altogether. Over several months, the teenager lost a dramatic amount of weight and began avoiding meals with everyone at home.

The family initially believed they were encouraging healthier habits when they commented on her weight years earlier. However, as the teenager’s eating habits became more extreme, the situation shifted from a concern about lifestyle to a much more serious health issue. Now the older sister fears that something the family said in the past might have contributed to what appears to be a dangerous change in the teenager’s behavior.

‘AITA because my sister is refusing to eat?’

The poster described her family and how her younger sister developed an early passion for cooking.

I am (20F) living with my parents and (25F) (14F) sisters. Growing up, we’ve always been a closely tied family, eaten out together, everyone’s been together, eating, talking and enjoying...

My 14F sister liked cooking a lot, and at her early teens (11-13 years old) she got very interested in cooking. She would cook for us, both desserts and proper...

Her cooking has always been good, however she put on some weight. She got a little chubby but I do not think that she was overweight.

The family began expressing concern about her weight despite a healthy medical assessment.

My family and I noticed this, because me and my 25F sister have always been slim I was worried that my 14F sister was on her path to an unhealthy...

my dad mentioning that she might want to lose a few kilos and that he would pay for a Gym Membership (Obviously because he wanted her to be healthy) but...

So she wouldn’t do much activities except for P.E. At school which would be 2 lessons (120 Mins) per week. My family contacted the school nurse and asked her about...

the nurse responded saying that our (14F) sister had a Healthy BMI count. After that my parents let that situation be and we went years without talking about her weight.

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Arguments and teasing about her body continued within the family over time.

But whenever we were fighting our family would call our (14F) sister rude things “Cow, bull, Whale” But it was just a family thing.

Yes, i agree that it was rude, but she would mock us too and we would only say those things when we were obviously mad at each other so that...

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Before it all went downhill, I suggested for my sister to Fast because she needed it. She started crying and my mom told me to apologize, so i did.

Over the following months, the teenager’s behavior changed dramatically.

Since January this year, my 14F sister started becoming extremely active, walking to school and back (40 mins each) and she would be out all day so that we couldn’t...

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No matter how much we encouraged her, she wouldn’t eat. And my family noticed a weightloss that was applaused because she was looking much slimmer and healthier.

But it got worse, she started refusing to eat anything at all, even her favorite foods. Nothing would ever get her to eat and she would be outside all day...

8 Months went, she looks skeletal, my parents keep telling her that she looks like a skeleton, an old woman, and that she needs to put on some weight.

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She is denying her weightloss and we cannot do anything about it. We contacted the school nurse once again and (14F) sister refused to be weighed.. We are extremely worried...

I might be the a__hole because My little sister has stopped eating and i am worried that me previously mocking her might have affected her negatively.

Concerns about weight and health can easily become complicated within families, especially during adolescence when bodies naturally change as part of development. Teenagers are particularly sensitive to comments about appearance, even when those remarks are framed as concern or humor. In this situation, the younger sister originally had a medically healthy weight according to the school nurse. However, repeated discussions about her body and teasing during arguments may have contributed to feelings of insecurity or pressure.

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Research consistently shows that negative comments about body image during childhood and early teenage years can influence how young people perceive food, exercise, and self-worth. The drastic change described in the story—avoiding meals, significant weight loss, and denial about the problem—can sometimes indicate the presence of an eating disorder. These conditions are complex mental health issues that rarely develop from a single moment but rather from a combination of emotional stress, social pressure, and personal struggles.

The most constructive response in situations like this typically involves professional help. Medical professionals, therapists, and family counselors are trained to address eating disorders and the underlying emotional factors that contribute to them. Early intervention can be critical in helping teenagers regain a healthy relationship with food and their bodies.

Check out how the community responded:

Many readers strongly criticized the family’s behavior and felt the teasing contributed to the problem.

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maaaadsss − YTA, i have an ED myself, and this is pretty much how it started.

Eternally_Eve − Yes YTA, and your whole family are too. You bullied a child for being 'chubby', now you bully her for being slim. I can assure you, whatever concern...

You stole her joy of cooking and food, you stole her safe home, you stole her happy family moments. All for what? Because a child who was confirmed to be...

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You are all disgusting and she would be better off without you. Your sister needs urgent medical and psychological help to work through the abuse you, your sister and your...

HELP HER, it's the f__king least you can do. And then keep your judgemental noses out of her weight!

Vequihellin − YTA. Your family bullied and abused her over her weight, using it as a rod to beat her with and now she's developed an eating disorder. Congratulations you...

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verminousbow − YTA. This is your and your family's fault. She had a HEALTHY BMI and you called her a cow at FOURTEEN! You and your parents should feel ashamed...

Usually I hate when people in this sub tell others that people's medical issues are on them, but this is on you and your parents. This is so awful.

Edit: Would also like to add that BMI is an archiac system and if she was "normal" on BMI that means she is nowhere near anything unhealthy.

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Mishy162 − YTA. Congratulations, you and your family have successfully caused your sister to develop an ED. You all should be so proud of yourselves!

Honestly you are all disgusting. If your sister survives the ED then I hope there is a dsy that she goes NC with you all.

Others emphasized that the situation requires serious professional help.

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Fluid-Letterhead7605 − YTA. Your parents are bigger asses for starting, allowing, and even encouraging this, though.

If someone was to write a book on how to give a kid an eating disorder, your story would be the basis for said book. This might seem normal to...

From an outsider, it sounds sinister, evil, and troubling. Please consider getting some help, for yourself and your little sister.

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drakkya − YTA your whole family bullied a little girl that just started puberty to the point of a dangerous ED.

It really get’s to me that she was only 11-13 (a kid not even a teen yet) with a healthy BMI and you disgusting folks could think of nothing better...

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(as she obviously was not overweight) The only thing you can now do, is getting her professional psychological help ASAP,

and best get a family therapist too because you all other than that poor girl are obviously toxic individuals with a very skewed look on what healthy family dynamics look...

Imitation_0 − Your whole family is the AH. Eating disorders don't start because of one statement, years of her weight being thrown at her have caused this and she needs...

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Some commenters highlighted how common weight gain can be during puberty.

pastense − YTA. Even in this post you're making excuses for yourself and your family for the harassment of this child over the years ("well yes we called her a...

Eira_Bliss − YTA In what world is it okay for a 17 year old to bully a 11 year old about her weight? Grow up and get your sister someone...

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Oh, and in case you didn't know, girls heading into puberty put on weight! It is healthy and needed so they can grow!

Family dynamics can strongly influence how young people view their bodies and relationship with food. In this case, the teenager once enjoyed cooking and sharing meals but gradually began avoiding food altogether. The situation now appears to have evolved into a serious health concern that may require professional intervention.

The story raises difficult questions about how comments about weight—especially during childhood—can affect someone long-term. When does teasing cross the line into harmful pressure? And what responsibility do families have to support healthier attitudes about body image as children grow?

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