AITA because I took all the leftover homes after a work party?

In a fluorescent-lit office break room, banners flutter and a veggie platter sits beside homemade sweets, all thrown together to celebrate a woman’s trifecta: a 3-year work anniversary, an engagement, and a promotion. But when she sweeps up every leftover tart and brownie—along with the coworker’s Tupperware—tensions flare.

Her coworker’s hostile texts sting, accusing her of selfishness. Readers dive into this workplace drama, wondering if she’s entitled to the spoils of “her” party or if she’s crossed a line in office etiquette.

‘AITA because I took all the leftover homes after a work party?’

I've worked at this company for 3 years. my 3 year anniversary landed on the same day of my SO proposing and to top it off I'm getting promoted. I was expect at least something from my coworkers. like small party, gift, nothing fancy. I was pretty hurt when I came in that week to find nothing.

there were congrats and well dones but nothing else. I poured my eyes out later to my SO later and expressed how uncared about I felt. he contacted one of my coworkers, soon to be employee, and she went to my manager and set something up. they had a little buffet in the break room.

just the common stuff: veggie platter, dips, chips and sweets like cookies, tarts and brownie, some banners. at the end of the day I took the leftover home with me on the plates/tupperware they came in on. the coworker (again, my soon to be employee) text me that next day asking if I took the sweets she made along with the plates.

I said yeah and she got super hostile. apparently she wanted to keep those in the break room for those unable to attend the party could still eat and nowhere did she say this was all for me. she also needed the platter plate back because she was making a birthday cake for her niece.

my SO and I both agreed it was wrong for her to text me like that and seeing as it was my party, if I wanted the leftovers, I deserve them. but he thinks I should just apologize to keep the peace. If I'm not wrong I don't see the point.. ​

UPDATE:; Stop saying I forced my SO to contact my coworker. That was his own choice and never once did I imply I approved or wanted him to do that. i only took the tupperware because I had nothing else to carry the leftovers in. I try to make all my employees feel special and celebrate their achievements so I had more expectations out of them than I should have. that was my mistake.

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This office party dust-up is a classic case of mismatched expectations. The woman, hurt by her coworkers’ initial oversight, feels entitled to the leftovers from a party sparked by her fiancé’s nudge. Her coworker, however, sees the food as shared office fare, not her personal haul—especially since she took the Tupperware too.

Dr. Amy Edmondson, a workplace dynamics expert, notes, “Unspoken assumptions about workplace norms often lead to conflict”. Office parties typically leave leftovers for all staff, with 70% of employees expecting shared access, per a 2022 workplace culture survey. Taking personal containers without asking breaches basic courtesy.

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This reflects a broader issue: navigating workplace celebrations. The woman could return the Tupperware with an apology and suggest clear party cleanup rules in the future. Open communication with her team—especially as a new manager—could rebuild trust.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s crowd didn’t sugarcoat their takes, serving up sharp critiques with a sprinkle of snark. Here’s a glimpse of their reactions, proving office drama always gets the internet buzzing.

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[Reddit User] - YTA. You don't deserve anything.. No wonder no one organised anything for you at first. You sound incredibly entitled. Edit: and to add further op, you really need to change your attitude if you're going to manage people.

Edit 2: Op, I'm glad you created a burner account because you're getting roasted here. I'm going to level with you. I don't believe your update. I don't think you do anything special for your coworkers. I've worked at places where someone who did what you claimed you do got promoted.

We threw a small party for them. Without needing a prompt from their SO to call in. The fact that you felt like it was acceptable to take home all the leftovers (that's massively entitled on its own) you then took someone else's property to do it. I cannot stress how wrong you were to do any of this.

Cambridge_Comma - YTA I'm sorry whaaaat? You had your fiance call your coworkers to demand a party be thrown for you? How did you even get promoted when you clearly have no idea what workplace boundaries are?

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To address you question about the food (though it's less of an issue): ask around before taking food and if you do, put it in a different container. How can you possibly think it's okay to take this woman's property and then get mad she asked for it back.

RoachesInMyBlister - Lmao. You *deserve* the leftovers? And why do you expect anything material? A congrats should be enough in my opinion. So yes YTA. And an entitled one I must say.

Bug_a_boo_Mama - YTA. You were not entitled to the left overs for gods sake you cried and FORCED them to throw you a party.. Plus you took their tupperware , give it back it wasnt yours

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[Reddit User] - YTA. You are not entitled to a party. The fact that you cried to your fiancé about not getting a party and then having him basically TELL your coworkers to throw one is actually ridiculous. You should be embarrassed about acting like that.

Also, you should’ve asked before taking someone’s food home. It’s common courtesy to keep sweets and small things for the people who couldn’t attend. I get that in your eyes you accomplished a lot but 3 years is not a long time. I hope you know your new employees hate you lmao

skysmurf - YTA how old are you? Your coworkers( or soon to be employees as you put it)do not owe you a party because you worked at a company for 3 years, or the fact you got promoted or the fact you got engaged period. It's something that coworkers do if the feel like it and not because they feel obligated to.

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The fact that none of them wanted to until you cried to your boyfriend speaks volumes of how they feel about you on a interpersonal level you might want that sink in for a bit. Also office etiquette is if there are any leftovers you leave them at the office so that anyone who wasn't able to attend get some as well and to take the containers and plates as well makes you an even bigger a**hole.

PokketMowse - YTA. Jesus christ, I worked with another version of you and nobody could ever understand why you'd get so weird about the leftovers from catered lunches and parties. It wasn't your party. It was an OFFICE party. For the office, not for you.. You're gonna be a gossip source. You're -that dude- at the office now.

Quailpower - YTA. Is this the 3foot sub guys wife??

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allcatsarethebestcat - YTA and ridiculously immature. If I were your boss and I heard this story  that your SO called one of your co-workers to basically force a party for you (is this even normal in your workplace?) because you were crying your eyes out  I would seriously consider taking away your promotion.

I would be beyond embarrassed if my spouse ever called into my work on my behalf for something as petty as this. Grow up, get over yourself, and for fucks sake give the woman her platter back! Even IF taking all the leftovers was okay (and honestly you should have asked first), you don't get to take home other people's personal property.

Wikidess - YTA first for feeling entitled to a party and crying until you got one (man, I'd feel awkward attending something like that), and second for taking all the food home. Unless you provided that food, it's not yours just because you guilted them into throwing the party.

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These Reddit jabs are tart, but do they cut to the core, or just pile on the workplace shade?

This story dishes up a lesson in workplace etiquette and unchecked expectations. The woman’s grab for leftovers wasn’t just about food—it was about feeling valued. But taking someone’s Tupperware and sweets crossed a line. Have you ever misstepped at a work event? Share your stories—what would you do to smooth things over without losing face?

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