AITA because I marked off my old tenant’s mail as “no longer lives here”?

Picture a quiet suburban home, where the mailbox overflows with letters addressed to strangers long gone. Two years after evicting their basement tenants to make room for a growing family, a homeowner finds herself playing unwilling postmaster for her former renters. What started as a trickle of misdirected mail turned into a flood, with FedEx packages bearing a mysterious business name piling up at her door. Frustrated and suspicious, she draws a line in the sand, sparking a fiery text exchange that leaves her questioning—did she go too far?

This tale of tangled addresses and clashing expectations resonates with anyone who’s dealt with lingering obligations. It’s a saga of boundaries, responsibility, and the faint whiff of something fishy, pulling readers into a debate over who’s really in the wrong.

‘AITA because I marked off my old tenant’s mail as “no longer lives here”?’

We used to rent out our basement but our family has grown so we needed the space. So we gave our tenants 6 months notice to move out. This was over 2 years ago that they moved out. The tenants incorporated a business using our address a month before moving out and never told us.

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It was a random name and fedex packages came to our door that I refused to take because there was no name. I was afraid we were getting scammed. Tenants informed us when they noticed the tracking of their packages and told us then. So I accepted their business packages for the time being.

Anyway when they moved out we asked them to change their address so they get their mail. For 1 year, their mail still kept coming but no fedex packages. I texted saying “please get your mail but please change your address”. After 1 year, I have started marking their mail “return to sender.

This person doesn’t live here” I don’t text them anymore. Last week, a fedex package to their business arrived at my door and I refused it saying “we have no business here, idk what that is. I’m not taking it”. The old tenant texted me a few min later cursing saying “why did you send my f-ing package?” I said “you don’t Live here anymore.

Stop sending your mail to my house.” I think they may have been tracking it. He texted back “but you have always texted me. I live in an apartment now and I work during the day so I can’t get packages. I have to drive to fedex and it’s an hour away. Just take my package” I said “no, I won’t.

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Update your address”. My husband said I should just help out because they were good tenants, but I refused. It smells scammy to me and I don’t like that their Business is still listed under my address when they don’t even live here. AITA For refusing to help pick up their packages delivered to my house?

When a former tenant’s mail keeps haunting your mailbox, it’s more than an annoyance—it’s a boundary violation. The homeowner’s decision to mark mail as “return to sender” and refuse packages stems from frustration after two years of unheeded requests. The tenant’s failure to update their business address, especially after incorporating it without consent, raises red flags. According to real estate expert Julie Reynolds, “Tenants must update their address promptly to avoid legal and ethical issues, as using a former landlord’s address can complicate liability” .

The homeowner’s suspicion of a scam isn’t unfounded—using someone else’s address for business purposes can signal fraudulent intent, like hiding transactions or evading taxes. A 2022 report by the U.S. Postal Service noted a rise in address misuse cases, with 15% of complaints involving business mail fraud . The tenant’s aggressive response and reliance on the homeowner’s goodwill further erode trust, suggesting entitlement over cooperation.

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Reynolds advises landlords to document requests to change addresses and report persistent misuse to postal authorities. For the homeowner, a certified letter to the tenant demanding an address update, coupled with notifying the post office, could resolve the issue. Offering a short grace period for package collection might ease tensions while reinforcing boundaries. This situation underscores a broader issue: clear communication and respect for property rights are crucial in landlord-tenant relationships.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out a mix of support and practical advice with a side of humor. Here’s what the community had to say:

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[Reddit User] − NTA. The former tenant can very easily get a PO Box at the local post office and get packages there.

theDagman − NTA It does seem scammy that they incorporated a business at your address a month before their six month notice to move out was to expire. It screams of some kind of fraud being perpetrated. Regardless, if the former tenant wants a mail drop spot, UPS has locations that sell mail boxes for just that purpose.

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Samsassatron − NTA, if they wanted you to do them the courtesy of continuing to accept their packages, they should have done you the courtesy of asking you for the favour, not expecting it and then cursing at you when you didn't.

Ellf13 − So NTA. They've had more than enough notice to get their s**t together. I don't know what country you're in, but I'd check what address is registered to their business (in the UK it's Companies House) and if it's still yours, notify whatever authority you need to, to get it changed. I'm sure they were lovely tenants, but you don't want bailiffs turning up at your door...

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KindaInactive − For 1 year I texted saying 'please get your mail but please change your address'. 'but you have always texted me' NTA. they've ignored you telling them to change their address for a year. they're even lucky you did it for a year, normally it would be acceptable for you to not accept anything for them at all ever since they left your building.

It smells scammy to me and I don't like that their Business is still listed under my address when they don't even live here. exactly. they don't live there they don't get to have the privilege of using your address unless they pay.

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pearshaped34 − NTA. Even if there is nothing sketchy going on it’s incredibly rude to continue to use your old address to get your mail delivered, even when the occupants have repeatedly told you to change your address, just because you won’t be home to accept your packages.

Fmeson − NTA. You are not obliged to handle their stuff.

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HeartpineFloors − NTA…after two years?! Wow. Your old tenant has some nerve expecting you to be their free UPS Store and then getting MAD when you declined. lol. To be paranoid, it’s a little worrisome that they’d be putting someone else’s address on some of their deliveries.

At this point, I think I would open the next package of theirs that came to my house because I “didn’t realize it wasn’t ours.” Make sure there’s nothing illegal inside.. I wonder if they’re hiding purchases from their partner?

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scubadancintouchdown − NTA, they can get a PO box for a couple bucks a month. Not your problem. You've been very generous, time for them to take responsibility for their own s**t.

mdsnbelle − NTA It’s one thing if you ask. We have a couple of bars in the neighborhood that will accept packages during the holiday season for regulars who ask nicely and they know.. Having taken advantage of it, I can say it’s very much appreciated.

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But always remember there are humans involved. You have to ask and they have to know you well enough to know they’re releasing the package to the right person. After all, they’re signing for it for you and they’re handing it over. You did not accept any responsibility for the packages. You weren’t even asked. You are NTA if you send them back.

These Reddit takes are spicy, but do they hit the mark? The consensus leans toward the homeowner, but the debate over scam suspicions adds a juicy twist.

This mailbox mayhem shows how small oversights can snowball into big disputes. The homeowner’s stand reflects a universal desire to reclaim personal space, while the tenant’s entitlement highlights the importance of clear boundaries. Could a simple address update have avoided this drama, or is something shadier at play? Have you ever dealt with someone overstaying their welcome in your space? Share your stories—what would you do in this homeowner’s shoes?

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