AITA because I didn’t drive around with my husband and kids to trick-or-treat on Halloween?

Picture a crisp Halloween evening, streets alive with pint-sized superheroes and glowing jack-o’-lanterns, as a mom in a Wonder Woman costume leads her kids door-to-door in their cozy suburban neighborhood. For this Redditor, a health scare turned fitness warrior, the night was a chance to make memories with her Captain Marvel, Spider-Man, and Batman trio. But her husband, munching candy in the minivan, insisted on driving instead of walking, citing safety and exhaustion. Her refusal to pile into the car sparked a chilly standoff, with him trailing behind.

The night took a spicier turn when a neighbor’s flirty gesture—a phone number slipped into her candy bucket—lit a fuse back home. Now, with her husband fuming and the cold shoulder lingering, she wonders if her push for an active Halloween was selfish. Readers feel the tug-of-war—family fun versus clashing lifestyles. Was she wrong to walk her truth?

‘AITA because I didn’t drive around with my husband and kids to trick-or-treat on Halloween?’

So, this one is fresh, and I'm still getting a cold shoulder over it. I'm going to give a bit of a backstory only because I think it's relevant. I've been married 14 years to an incredible guy and we ended up with 3 kids. 8 years old, 5 years old, and 3 years old.

We both used to be pretty athletic pre-kids and both picked up I hate to say it quite a bit of weight. I had a bit of a health scare after our 3rd kid was born. And, I took my health more seriously and dropped a good bit of weight along with feel absolutely incredible in comparison to where I was before.

I tried to take my husband on this journey with me... but he wasn't ready. He was half-committed to the effort. So, boom. It's Halloween. All the kids are dressed up. Which was an exhausting effort in and of itself. And, we are heading out where I see my husband sitting in the van waiting for us to pile in.

I stood there surprised. We live in one of those cookie cutter suburbia neighborhoods where we can walk door to door to all our neighbors without being on a highway or something. I told him we could just walk instead of having to pile everyone in and out of the car(strapping in car seats between each house too).

He was totally against it said it would be safer this way and that it would be too much work to do all that walking complaining about being tired from work. Meanwhile, beside him there's a pile of candy wrappers from him snacking on our Halloween candy we were leaving in a bowl.

At this point I tell him if he's driving he can follow behind us in the car. And, he throws yet another mini-chocolate in his mouth and says fine. So, I walked the entire night in my Wonder Woman costume with my Captain Marvel, Spider-man, and Batman kids while he just watched us from the street.

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We got so many compliments and he wasn't apart of the experience. One neighbor told me I was the real treat of the night because of my costume and it helped cheer me up a little. He even put a little airplane bottle of liquor in my candy bucket. Ha.

We finish up and get home. Kids are in bed and we are sorting through the candy checking to make sure it's unopened. He sees the airplane bottle of liquor and kinda freaks out. I tell him that some guy gave it to me what I didn't notice is that had slipped his phone number in the bucket too. Basically all hell broke loose.

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I'm telling him it's not my fault he flirted with me but if he was there with me maybe it wouldn't have happened. And, my husband is all upset we didn't just ride with him and I'm just so over it. Then I tell him basically we don't all have to suffer because you don't want to help yourself be better.. AITA?

Halloween should be a family adventure, but this couple’s clash reveals deeper rifts over lifestyle and communication. The Redditor’s commitment to health contrasts sharply with her husband’s reluctance, making his choice to drive while she walked with the kids a symbol of their diverging paths. His reaction to the neighbor’s flirtation suggests insecurity, possibly tied to her transformation, while her sharp words about his lack of effort escalated the fight.

Such conflicts are common—40% of couples report lifestyle differences straining relationships, per a 2024 study by the Gottman Institute. Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, advises, “Partners must approach conflicts with curiosity, not criticism, to rebuild connection”. The husband’s driving plan, though impractical, may reflect his need for comfort amid work stress, while her insistence on walking prioritized family experience.

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For solutions, the couple could set shared goals, like small family walks, to bridge their lifestyle gap. An honest talk about his insecurities and her frustrations could clear the air.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit crew brought the Halloween spirit with some fiery takes—here’s what they had to say about this trick-or-treat tussle:

ringdangdoothefirst − Nta. He's THAT a**hole driving around a neighborhood while kids are walking around trick or treating. And now he's just upset because his manhood has taken a hit.

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the1krutz − NTA. You're in a neighborhood and can walk to your neighbors; driving would be a pointless waste of time and effort. About the phone number thing, who cares? Someone slipped you their phone number, it wasn't a quickie in the doorway. (But maybe your husband's reaction is hiding some deeper insecurity. Might want to dig into that later?)

teke367 − NTA. Forget everything else, why would anybody want to keep strapping a kid in a car set between each house? Unless this cookie cutter neighborhood is full of mini mansions that are 100 yards apart, I feel like more work is being done with the car seats than would be done for the walking.

artificialn0cturne − NTA. I've honestly never heard of anyone driving around for trick or treating.

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ErrantJune − NTA. I'm confused about why he even went. So he could watch you & the kids from the car? Something about this seems off.

princessbuttermug − NTA but you guys need to talk about your diverging lifestyles and to also get to the bottom of what this is really about. My guess? He sees you looking more fantastic and he's struggling. He's feeling inadequate but not acknowledging it and externalising it and making it a you thing (you've left him behind!) rather than a him thing, which it really is. Talk guys.

Vivandrel0815 − NTA. I get being lazy, but this is just ridiculous.. Let alone the craziness to drive from house to house, because he thought walking from door to door is too much.. Please dont get me wrong, but people like your husband are part of the reason our planet is dying. I'm not against cars at all, but this is just stupid.

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joker10319 − NTA I have never drove around and trick-or-treated that is by far the lamest thing you could ever do on halloween. I'd rather just stay home and pass out candy at that point. You're husbands laziness is what caused the issue in the first place, if he was with you then nobody would be trying to flirt with you.

sabre_skills − NTA. Your husband literally drove around your neighborhood watching you trick or treat with the kids? That's absurd.

Adam_Bomb18 − NTA my wife and I had a conversation about how it takes part of the fun of Halloween out of the experience if you just drive to each house. If your husband really wanted to be apart of it, he would have sucked it up and walked with his family.

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These Reddit opinions are a candy bag of support and shade, but do they capture the full flavor of this couple’s clash?

This Halloween tale shows how a simple holiday can unmask deeper relationship struggles. The Redditor’s choice to walk wasn’t just about exercise—it was about creating joy with her kids and owning her health journey. Her husband’s car-bound sulk and the flirty neighbor drama only highlight their need for a heart-to-heart. Have you ever clashed with a partner over family traditions or lifestyle choices? Drop your stories below—how would you keep the Halloween spirit alive in this situation?

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