AITA [18F] for telling my Dad [55M] it’s unfair he paid for my brother’s [23M] college tuition, but won’t pay for mine?

An 18-year-old’s college dreams hit a wall when her father, a pediatrician, refuses to fund her tuition at Ohio University, despite paying for her brother’s pricier education. His reasoning? She should focus on her looks to “marry well.” Her quiet protest about fairness gets brushed off, leaving her feeling like a second-class sibling.

Reddit’s buzzing with reactions, and the sting of favoritism cuts deep. This story dives into the raw tension of family inequality and outdated gender roles, pulling readers into a battle for fairness.

‘AITA [18F] for telling my Dad [55M] it’s unfair he paid for my brother’s [23M] college tuition, but won’t pay for mine?’

My Dad has always liked my brother more than me, he's his golden child. My brother always got to go out and stay with friends. He could invite girlfriends over, I couldn't even talk to boys growing up. He was applauded for doing basic chores such as taking out the trash every once in a while, and I was always told I wasn't doing a good enough job around the house.

My dad has bought him a new car, while he looked for the cheapest car he could get for me. I had to get a job to pay for the few nice things that I have. I know it's his money and he can decide how he want to spend it, but it's really hard not to feel hurt when he gives him more than I without even having to ask for it.

I found a nice four-year university college at Ohio University, which was a few thousand dollars cheaper a semester than the university my brother went to and I promised him I wouldn't get any lower grades than B's or better for him to pay. I thought I made a compelling argument,

but he told me there's no point in wasting money to pay for my college since all I had to do was focus on my looks so I can marry a well off man. I wanted to scream at him, but I don't have the courage to. I just told him it was unfair that he would pay for my brother's college but not mine and all he said was it's his money and he can decide to use it however he wants to.

I guess looking back at it, it was pretty stupid of me to assume he would pay for it, and he is right that it's his money; his choice. I've had friends whose parents didn't pay for their college either so I do feel a bit like a brat for expecting him to pay for my college, however it still feels unfair and wrong for him to not financially support me even a little bit,

especially when he has the funds to do so (he's a pediatrician). AITA for thinking it's wrong for my dad to pay for my brother's college, but not mine; even though it is his money. Sorry for the long rant

College plans shouldn’t spark family feuds, but this teen’s clash with her father exposes a painful divide. His refusal to fund her education, while covering her brother’s, reeks of favoritism and sexism, especially with his dismissive “marry well” advice. Her call-out, though restrained, voices a legitimate grievance about unequal treatment.

This reflects broader gender disparities in education. A 2023 UNESCO report notes that globally, girls are 10% less likely to receive parental support for higher education (source). Her father’s stance echoes outdated norms, undermining her ambitions.

Dr. Cordelia Fine, a gender studies expert, states, “Stereotypes about women’s roles limit their opportunities and reinforce inequality” (source). The teen’s father perpetuates this by prioritizing her brother. She should explore scholarships and part-time work to fund her education, proving her worth independently.

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Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s serving up a storm of opinions, hotter than a summer barbecue. Here’s what they had to say:

NotUntilTheFishJumps - NTA. Your dad sounds extremely sexist. It would be a completely different matter if he were treating you the same as your brother, but he very obviously is picking favorites.

zukolover96 - NTA but don’t count on that money. Your dad is clearly just sexist. Get a job, pay for uni, look great, make heaps of money on your own (rich husband don’t hurt though) and then don’t invite your dad to your fancy holiday house. Or anything ever again.

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RedBullMetal - NTA..... Your father is acting like this is the 1950s and most likely you'll be needing a job just like your future husband. Your father acting like you'll just marry some rich dude is unrealistic. Only 1 out of 5 families has a housewife. He can't expect you to fall in the 20%. Feel free to share this with him.

melancholicvogue - NTA. if your father can afford it and is doing it for one child, it’s only fair he does it for his other child too.

Swegh_ - NTA - he’s sexist and clearly favors one child over the other probably because he’s a boy. Have you talked to your mom or other family members about this?

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DubsAnd49ers - NTA I’m guessing his sexist ass will expect you and not your brother to care for him when he is elderly and can’t care for himself. Use this as motivation to be successful for yourself and don’t look back. Karma has a way of presenting itself. Wait and see.

longwalkswithblunts - NTA. Tell him when he is old to only go to your brother for help. At that point It’s your money so it’s your right. Then go out there and be more successful than your brother by living your best life.

[Reddit User] - NTA but your Dad is big time. He actually said you should focus on your looks and marry a well off man? I wouldn't want him near my child - he's living in the 19th century.

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Arthur_Bird - NTA. One time I offered \[not to have a thing because I felt like my brother needed more than I did\] and my dad said that as much as possible he wanted to give us the same advantages because he didn't want any resentment to grow up between us. Treating children equally is about more than just fairness - it's about preserving the relationship between them.

How great do you feel about your golden brother? Probably not really great! And was it good for your brother to get everything handed to him while watching you get treated badly? No, it wasn't. Your father is doing his best to hand down bad relationships and gender problems into the next few generations.

ejiciam - NTA at all especially with the reasoning he gave: that your only purpose was to sit there, look pretty, and get married to a rich man. He set a standard of paying for his kids’ college- it is his money unfortunately but he’s a sexist a**hole. Find a way to go to college please! Scholarships are always a great option. Don’t let your father, who clearly thinks we’re in the 1700s, stop you from getting and education.

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Talk about a family showdown! Reddit’s rallying behind the teen, but the father’s old-school views steal the spotlight. Is he stuck in the past, or is it really just his money, his rules? This tale’s a rollercoaster of fairness and frustration.

Family favoritism is like a bad song stuck in your head—hard to ignore and deeply unfair. The teen’s quiet stand against her father’s sexism sparked a heated debate, but did she cross a line, or is she right to demand equality? What would you do if faced with such blatant bias in your family? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the convo going!

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