UPDATE: Dinner Disaster – AITA for Serving Just Enough While One Guest Devoured It All?

This update revisits a contentious dinner party saga where the host, known for her generous hospitality, found herself grappling with unexpected challenges posed by a guest whose enormous appetite disrupted the planned portions. After previous discussions about the drama that unfolded when Melissa—one of the guests—consumed far more than her fair share,

the host now provides a final update on how she managed the fallout and what decisions she made for future events. The update also touches on the personal reflections and evolving relationships within her friend group as she navigates the balance between generosity and practicality.

For those who want to read the previous part: AITAH for Not Serving as Much Food as I Know My Dinner Guests Will Want to Eat?

‘Hopefully Final Update on Am I the A**hole if I Don’t Serve as Much Food as My Guests Want?’

Dr. Elena Rivera, a nutrition and behavioral specialist, notes, “The host’s concern is not about shaming or discriminating against any guest’s dietary habits. Instead, it reflects a valid tension between maintaining healthy boundaries in hosting and managing a budget under challenging circumstances. It’s important for hosts to set clear expectations on portions and to communicate them in advance to avoid feelings of entitlement.”

Similarly, event planning consultant Mark Thompson advises, “When hosting regular gatherings, especially with close-knit friend groups, it’s crucial to establish clear portion sizes and rules for food consumption. This isn’t about body-shaming—it’s about sustainability and ensuring that the event remains enjoyable for everyone. The host’s decision to pre-plate food in later events is a pragmatic solution to prevent overeating and to protect her resources.”

Both experts agree that while hosting generously is admirable, it must be balanced with practical considerations, especially when a recurring issue like Melissa’s excessive eating repeatedly strains both the host’s finances and the group’s harmony.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit community’s responses have largely supported the host’s position. Many users commended her for standing firm and for addressing Melissa’s behavior as a breach of social etiquette rather than a matter of personal appearance or body size. One commenter remarked, “Melissa was disgusting and selfish—if she can’t control her portion sizes, she’s the one who needs to adjust her behavior, not you.”

Other users emphasized the importance of clear communication. For example, one suggestion was to pre-plate meals so that everyone receives an equal share, preventing any one person from monopolizing the food. Some members, however, cautioned that while the host’s frustration was understandable,

she might consider a more diplomatic approach in the future to avoid further alienating friends who have historically enabled Melissa’s behavior. Nonetheless, the prevailing sentiment is that the host’s actions were reasonable given the repeated disruptions and financial burdens imposed on her.

In conclusion, the host’s decision to adjust her menu planning and to set firm boundaries with guests who habitually overeat, particularly Melissa, is supported by many in the community as both practical and necessary. While some express that a softer approach might have preserved the friend group’s cohesion, the overarching consensus is that Melissa’s behavior—combined with Polly’s enabling—warrants a firm response to protect the host’s time, finances, and well-being.

What do you think? Have you ever had to balance generosity with practical limitations in your hosting experiences? How would you handle a situation where one guest consistently disrupts the equilibrium of a shared meal? Share your thoughts and strategies in the comments below.