AITA for being annoyed at my GF after she turned off the power during her cooking, while I was gaming?

Living together often means learning to navigate each other’s habits, hobbies, and routines, sometimes in ways no one expects. For one young couple, a faulty oven and a love of gaming unexpectedly became the center of a heated argument. What started as a simple request to give a heads-up before using a specific appliance slowly turned into a clash over respect, priorities, and communication.

The boyfriend felt his hobby was brushed aside as unimportant, while the girlfriend believed cooking took precedence over a video game. With emotions running high, the disagreement escalated beyond the kitchen and into their relationship. When the story was shared online, many people focused less on the game itself and more on the unresolved electrical issue, questioning why such a risky problem had been allowed to continue for years.

AITA for being annoyed at my GF after she turned off the power during her cooking, while I was gaming?

The situation starts with a couple settling into a shared home that comes with one lingering problem

I (M24) have been dating Helen (F22) for 2 years and we moved in together 2 months ago. This is my parents' old second home,

my parents gave it to me when I moved out of the family home 5 years ago. Helen and I are very happy with this house because it is comfortable...

That comfort comes with a kitchen issue he has learned to work around over time

There is just a little problem with the kitchen, there are two ovens, one big and one smaller. The small one works well but sometimes the big one cuts off...

It is not everytime, maybe once in five times but to avoid that, I always use the small oven which was more than enough when I was living alone.. ​....

After moving in, cooking routines shifted and expectations quietly changed

When Helen moved in, at first we took turns cooking but she quicky insisted to manage the cooking alone, she thinks my cooking is a bit too basic. Her parents...

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and she cooks better than me tbf.. I once suggested that we could cook together sometimes so I could improve but she doesn't want because she finds me too messy...

A simple warning request became important because of his evening gaming routine

I warned her about the big oven and to prioritize the smaller one or to let me know before using the big one. I like to play Football Manager on...

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If she tells me beforehand, I can save my game in case of a cut. ​. ​2 weeks ago Helen used the big oven without telling me and the power...

I gently remembered her to warn next time and it's ok, I had saved a few minutes before, and everyone can forget or mess up.. ​. ​

When the power went out again, frustration quickly replaced patience

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Yesterday she wanted to make cookies and used the big oven again without telling me, I was playing, and I hadn't saved for several in-game weeks (stupid, I know) so...

I was annoyed and I asked why she didn't warn me. Instead of apologising she said aggresively to get over it, that I shouldn't get upset about that stupid game,...

The argument escalated, ending with distance instead of resolution

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I got angry and answered that she shouldn't disrespect my hobbies like that and she could just enjoy her so much important dinner alone and I stormed off.. ​. ​

I went to visit a friend (24M) to vent, and I ended up sleeping there (I told my gf by message that I will sleep there and it's best to...

My friend thinks that Helen messed up and is in the wrong but this morning, I received a text from a friend a Helen calling me a huge a__hole.. ​.

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After reflecting about it, I start to feel bad, maybe I did overreact or was completly in the wrong.. ​. ​. So, AITA ?

This conflict highlights how small, unresolved household issues can amplify emotional reactions between partners. On the surface, the argument appears to be about gaming versus cooking, but beneath that lies a lack of mutual problem-solving. The electrical fault is not just inconvenient, it is a safety concern that has been normalized over time.

From the boyfriend’s perspective, the request for a warning felt reasonable, especially since it only required a brief heads-up. When that didn’t happen and his frustration was dismissed, it likely triggered feelings of being undervalued. His reaction, however, escalated the situation rather than resolving it.

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The girlfriend may have experienced the situation differently. Cooking, especially when it becomes a primary household role, can feel like work rather than a favor. Being asked to adjust her routine around a game may have felt unfair or minimizing. Her aggressive response suggests pent-up irritation rather than just annoyance over a single incident.

According to relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, unresolved issues often turn into recurring conflicts when couples focus on blame instead of solutions. He emphasizes that healthy couples address the problem together, rather than framing it as one person’s fault. In this case, that would mean prioritizing a permanent fix, such as repairing the electrical system, instead of relying on reminders and workarounds.

Practical advice here is straightforward: address the root cause first. Fixing the oven or electrical system removes the trigger entirely. Beyond that, both partners would benefit from discussing how chores and leisure time are valued. Respecting each other’s interests, while also handling shared responsibilities, is essential for long-term harmony.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Many users agreed that both partners handled the situation poorly and focused on the unresolved problem

epinglerouge − ESH get the oven fixed.

Irmaplotz − Esh. Fix the electrical issue, save your game, don't complain when someone is making your meals while you are playing games. Apologize for overreacting and not handling conflict...

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She should apologize for not telling you she was using the big oven and for getting angry at you when you pointed it out. You should also ask if she's...

Aesire8 − ESH. Get the oven fixed, that is a problem. Perhaps also buy a small UPS for your computer if you're unwilling to do that.

Now, if you went in the kitchen ranting about losing your progress then it's only you who is to blame, but she, according to your side of the story overreacted.

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However storming out of the house over something this trivial is ridiculous. You aren't 12, and it makes me question the reliability of your POV.

Narrow-Initiative-80 − Why can't you assume that she's going to use the big oven anytime she's cooking and save your game? Or have the electrical problem fixed?

Or get rid of the big oven so she can't use it? I think storming out and spending the night at your friends is an overreaction.

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Her claiming she was cooking dinner when she was making cookies is in a__hole territory. So I'm going with ESH.

PinkNGreenFluoride − You don't need reddit, you need an electrician. Now. Seriously. I'm sure it's normalized for you by now,

but the oven switching your power off is not really normal and should *not* be happening repeatedly. Fix this serious safety issue and you'll be able to cook/bake and game...

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Others leaned toward blaming the boyfriend, arguing that the real issue had been ignored for too long

Fantastic_List3029 − "This is a problem I've effectively created by choosing to ignore necessary machine maintenance for the last 5 years. You need to work around that to accommodate me....

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thelastload42 − YTA FFS. Instead of spending a little time and/or money fixing the real issue - the electrical problem - you'd rather argue.

Just fix it and then your gaming won't ever be interrupted again by your girlfriend making food for you. And you might get to keep the girlfriend too.

jenever_r − YTA. She's in the kitchen making your dinner while you game, and you're angry that she forgot to ask your permission?

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That's not reasonable, you overreacted. It's a game. If it bothers you that much, get the oven fixed. And get some cooking lessons.

Putrid-Maximum1569 − It’s amazing to me how many posts are based on an argument starting over gaming Grow up and fix your electrical before your house burns down and you...

Choice_Werewolf1259 − Here’s my issue with this post. Instead of fixing the electrical and breaker box you are now asking for your gf to either tell you every time she...

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Then you yelled at her for it. And while I do think she came in a bit hot in her defense, you are claiming she doesn’t respect your hobbies because...

I feel like I’m between E S h and Y T A. Info: has there been any effort to fix the electricity? Was it just asking or did you accuse...

Has she in the past asked for money to be allocated to fixing the oven issue, or are both of you just living with this issue and mismanaging funds?

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Because if you are refusing to work with her fix the issue and allocate the funds and are blaming her for cooking when you want to play your game then...

If neither of you have worked out a solution and are just at each others throats over this issue then both of you suck.

But something tells me that there’s more going on here. Especially because of how you describe her being “fed up” with you trying to cook and being messy in the...

Personally when I see that it makes my brain go to weaponized incompetence. Maybe I’m wrong there but my spidey senses are tingling. Edit: ive thought about it. YTA.

You haven’t made efforts to get it fixed and are blaming her for using an appliance in her own home. Get it fixed before it starts a house fire.

A smaller group defended the boyfriend, saying a warning was basic courtesy

Super-Breath6350 − I don't really have an opinion. But if the oven is tripping out the power. Something is wrong with it. Best get it looked at.

FormulaZR − Using an appliance should not trip a breaker repeatedly. It means either the appliance is pulling too much load or there is a weak breaker. It should be...

and if it's just a weak breaker should be a cheap enough fix. Replacing the oven or rewiring wouldn't be, but also shouldn't continue to be used for safety reasons....

AsteleMC − NTA While the issue is trivial, it does show her incompetency to warn you about something she’ll do, which could have greater effects

Inevitable-Profit624 − I'm genuinely confused about the YTAs. I mean yeah he *should* definitely fix the oven but that doesn't make him am a__hole? ×He's had no problem in the...

He even offers to cook together and she says no. ×It's literally takes no time at all to warn someone that "Hey I'm about to use the oven" ×When he...

×He removed himself from the situation and stayed at a friend's to calm down I'm like *genuinely* confused how he's TA. I very much don't get it. He definitely should...

Logical-Unlogical − NTA. A courtesy call is not that hard. She overreacted massively

This disagreement wasn’t really about a video game or a batch of cookies. It exposed how unresolved household issues and poor communication can turn minor frustrations into major arguments. While the boyfriend may have overreacted by storming out, the girlfriend’s dismissal of his feelings didn’t help either. Fixing the electrical problem would remove the trigger entirely, but respect and compromise are just as important. If you were in their place, would you focus on courtesy, priorities, or finally fixing the real problem?

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