AITAH for telling my In-laws I’m pregnant?

After four grueling years of infertility struggles, including a devastating 2020 miscarriage that left her infertile, a 32-year-old woman and her husband finally saw success with their first IVF round. At 7 weeks pregnant with a high-risk but miraculous pregnancy, they chose to share the joyful news with his parents at a family event.

The reaction stunned them: her father-in-law angrily scolded them for announcing too early, claiming it burdened the family with likely bad news, while her mother-in-law dismissed it casually. The cold response deepened existing hurt from the in-laws’ longstanding disinterest, contrasting sharply with her own parents’ enthusiastic support.

‘AITAH for telling my In-laws I’m pregnant?’

The couple endured a long, painful fertility journey marked by loss and medical challenges.

I (32F) and husband (33M) have been trying for a baby for nearly 4 years. I got pregnant in 2020 but sadly resulted in a loss and complications that made...

Its been a very hard journey but we recently did our first round of IVF and it seems to have been successful as i am currently 7 weeks pregnant with...

However, i am high risk due to some issues and have a higher than normal risk of miscarriage, but we are both incredibly excited that we have this chance at...

Support differed greatly between families, with the in-laws showing consistent detachment.

My in-laws have not been very supportive and are overall pretty uninterested in our situation, a fact that has upset my husband many times but we try to keep them...

In contrast, my parents have been very involved, driving us to our appointments, helping any way they can and were over the moon for us that we seem to have...

Sharing the news at a family gathering led to unexpected anger and indifference from the in-laws.

It will be my mother's 3rd grandchild yet she still burst into tears upon hearing the news she was so happy.

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However, we were recently at a family event and decided to share the news to my husbands parents that the IVF has worked and I'm currently pregnant.

My father-in-law got very mad about this, saying it was way too early to tell them and we shouldn't have burdened them with this as we'll likely we loose the...

He was genuinely angry we told them, like we had just given them horrific news. We were both quite taken aback about getting scolded about sharing what we thought would...

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My mother-in-law reacted like I told her about the weather "Oh. That's nice. Anyway....." which was also very odd. It really hurt my husband that they reacted like this and...

But I felt like they should be told as it would be their first grandchild and my family already knew, it felt unfair to keep it from them?

I told my mother about it and she said they must have their reasons and they are probably just worried for us and dont know how they might be feeling...

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I dont know if we should have waited or not and feel like I might be the AH because it is still early days but we wanted to share our...

I really wasn't expecting the in-laws to react like this and I'm now questioning if we should have said anything at all as it clearly was upsetting to them? AITA?

small update I'm now 20 weeks and me, baby and husband are thriving. In-laws have not acknowledged the pregnancy once since we told them. Not a single message asking how...

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It's sad but my husband has accepted his parents want nothing to do with our baby and he's speaking about it in therapy. My SIL's and BIL are very excited...

This situation exposes the emotional disconnect possible in extended families during vulnerable milestones like pregnancy after infertility. The couple’s decision to announce at 7 weeks stemmed from hard-won joy and a desire for inclusion, especially since it would be the in-laws’ first grandchild.

The father-in-law’s anger and mother-in-law’s indifference suggest protective detachment, possibly rooted in fear of another loss or unresolved grief from the prior miscarriage. While their reactions feel invalidating, framing the news as a “burden” centers their discomfort over the couple’s excitement.

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Societally, announcement timing varies widely—no universal rule mandates waiting until the second trimester. Sharing early allows support during high-risk periods, though it risks unsupportive responses. Here, the in-laws’ ongoing silence confirms emotional unavailability, shifting focus to building a supportive network elsewhere. The husband’s therapy and siblings’ enthusiasm highlight healthier paths forward, prioritizing those who celebrate the miracle.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Many users reassured the woman she did nothing wrong in sharing the news, criticizing the in-laws’ self-centered reactions.

Inside-War8916 − Nta for telling them, but you will never be able to force people to act the way you want them to - move on from that or you're...

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sapphirexoxoxo − I think maybe there’s some sort of loss in their background that you guys don’t know about. Something doesn’t sound right.

Knittingfairy09113 − NTA Either they firmly believe that you will never carry a pregnancy to term and this is all emotional torture or they have some issues beyond what I...

It's fine to have told them, but you and your husband need to keep in mimd that his parents are never going to be sources of emotional support for you...

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Diligent-Might6031 − It sounds like your in laws were deeply hurt by your loss of the previous pregnancy and are scared you’re going to lose this one.

They’re responding out of fear. Does that make it okay! ? *absolutely not* Just my observation ETA: I experienced 7 losses before I had my son.

I didn’t tell people I was pregnant until I really couldn’t hide it anymore and even then I reminded them to not get excited and we don’t have a baby...

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And I couldn’t even get excited myself until I heard him cry the day he was born. It sounds like a trauma response 100%

Eichmil − NTA. Next time wait a little bit longer. Maybe until the kid is 5 or 6. In that way you won’t burden them with any disappointing pregnancy news.

Some speculated on underlying causes for the in-laws’ behavior, suggesting fear or past trauma.

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[Reddit User] − Maybe they’re scared you’ll miscarry and do not want to get their hopes up. I do think 7 weeks is too soon to tell people, especially after...

Diasies_inMyHair − NTA - but I wouldn't tell them another damn thing about this pregnancy - give them complete and utter Radio Silence. Then when they ask, tell them that...

A couple questioned timing or details while still leaning toward no fault.

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[Reddit User] − At some parts it seems like YOU told them individually, and at some parts it seems your husband and you told them together? If you told them...

Is expecting support from previously-shown highly unsupportive people a bit foolhardy? Yes unfortunately. .. But I genuinely mean "a bit", no understatement. The In-Laws are just emotionally selfish that's all.

alantaylo − NTA making your pregnancy about them shows a deep lack of empathy.

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Quiet-Hamster6509 − How did the react on your first pregnancy?

The couple bears no blame for announcing their long-awaited pregnancy early, seeking to include future grandparents in a moment of rare joy after profound hardship. The in-laws’ negative reactions reveal their own issues, not any wrongdoing in sharing, and their continued silence underscores a lack of investment best accepted rather than chased.

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How soon do you typically share pregnancy news, especially after infertility or loss—early for support, or later for safety? When in-laws show disinterest or negativity, do you limit information moving forward, or keep trying for involvement?

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