AITA for taking away a “gift”?

A 25-year-old woman faced a tough situation when her 17-year-old “golden child” brother demanded she “gift” him the gaming laptop she bought for work. Though she allowed him to use it an hour daily, he began calling it his own and racked up 12-hour gaming sessions. When she decided to password-protect it and reclaim control, he threw tantrums, accusing her of taking back a “gift.” Her parents argued she shouldn’t meddle in his life.

Was she wrong to set boundaries and protect her property? This family drama stirred heated debates online, raising questions about entitlement, family dynamics, and the challenge of teaching responsibility.

‘AITA for taking away a “gift”?’

It started with the sister noticing her brother’s growing entitlement:

My (25F) brother (17M) is quite the golden child and is worshipped by everyone in our house including me. He always gets his way and sometimes even we let him....

When I first realised we were the ones who are enabling him I started to say no to stuff which I found unreasonable. I even talked to my parents but...

The issue escalated when she bought a new laptop, and her brother wanted to claim it:

Around a few months back my company laptop stopped working and I had to buy a new laptop as my company said a new device won't be available for atleast...

My brother insisted I should buy a gaming laptop as they don't lag and he suggested a model which was within my budget. He said he will play games on...

When she got a new work laptop, her brother demanded the gaming one as a “gift”:

I received a new laptop from my work approximately 3 weeks ago. My brother insisted I gift him the gaming laptop I purchased. I said he can play with it...

He kept on insinuating it is "his laptop" to his friends. He is now addicted to it and last Sunday he spent 12+ hours playing some online game.

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She set boundaries, sparking a heated argument:

I told him he needs to return my laptop and I will be password protecting it. He started yelling and called me selfish to take his gift back. I told...

He is throwing tantrums now on how I am taking away a gift from him. My parents think it is his life and I have no right to interfere. I...

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She updated that she resolved the issue through dialogue:

Update: I sat my parents down and tried to have a mature conversation over this. They were not receptive at first but eventually atleast agreed that my brother's behavior was...

I had a long conversation with my brother about his entitled attitude (not only on the laptop issue but overall) and I am not sure if he would change easily...

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The brother’s entitled behavior reflects a pattern of overindulgence, often termed “golden child syndrome.” Dr. John Townsend, author of Boundaries, notes, “Lack of clear boundaries in families can foster entitlement and irresponsibility in teens” (Townsend, 2017). The sister was right to recognize her and her family’s role in enabling this and to take steps to set limits.

Password-protecting the laptop was a necessary move to safeguard her property and curb her brother’s unhealthy gaming habits. His insistence that it was a “gift” despite her clear refusal shows a lack of respect and understanding of ownership. The parents, by downplaying the issue, inadvertently reinforced this attitude, which could harm his long-term development.

The constructive conversation afterward is a positive sign. The sister skillfully shifted from confrontation to dialogue, helping her brother and parents see the issue. However, changing entitled behavior takes time and consistency. She should maintain clear boundaries, like limiting laptop use or requiring him to earn his own device, teaching responsibility and independence.

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The parents need to step up with consistent discipline, rather than leaving the sister to parent alone. A unified family approach, like regular family meetings to discuss responsibilities, could help correct his behavior. If issues persist, consulting a family therapist might be useful. Above all, the sister must protect her space and property while encouraging her brother to build healthy habits, steering him away from gaming dependence or entitlement.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit strongly backed the sister, affirming she wasn’t wrong to protect her property and set boundaries.

Many urged her to stand firm and secure the laptop:

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Significant_Win6431 - NTA change the password. He doesn’t respect your possession and is doing the old give him an inch take a mile. Don’t let him near it again and...

ElvisCresposblanket - NTA. Not only you should password protect both laptops, but physically protect them. I can see a possibility where he might wreck your work laptop or both as...

tosser9212 - NTA. Your laptop, your visitation requirements. Let your parents buy him a laptop. And it absolutely should be password protected, not just to protect it from him!

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Affectionate_Life644 - NTA. Password protect it and you might consider wiping the memory and then selling it.

Some suggested selling the laptop to avoid further conflict:

b1lllevansatmariposa - If your company has given you the laptop you need, just shut this argument down. Sell the other laptop. You’ll be doing your brother a favor in the...

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SuitAndTie_Jalapeno - This is obvious favoritism and I am so sorry for you… NTA Your brother and your parents can be mad all they want, but it is your property...

I would advise you to sell it and either keep the money or spend them on something for yourself, if you keep the laptop it could drag on and become...

Major_Barnacle_2212 - I don’t see this as taking a gift back. I see it as removing access to a physical item you already own. Sure, you can get fancy and...

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Others criticized the enabling and the brother’s attitude:

fallingfaster345 - NTA. It’s your laptop that he’s trying to commandeer. I’m shocked your parents are allowing him to play games for twelve hours a day and basically steal your...

Grgivmy - NTA. It’s not a gift? It’s you allowing your brother to use a device which you paid for. Your mum and dad are facilitating his spoiled behaviour. If...

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It could lead to dangerous online behaviour (trolling and the like). If he wants a gaming laptop so badly he should get a job and earn it. He could probably...

Sita418 - NTA He is throwing tantrums now on how I am taking away a gift from him. But it wasn’t a gift. It was something you allowed him to...

It’s not as if you were ambiguous at any point. You made it very clear this wasn’t a gift. AITA for taking away a “gift”computer loaned to my brother who...

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MeloNurse3 - NTA. Glad you acknowledge that you and your parents having been enabling him, but it’s a bit too late for him to unlearn this behavior. Good luck with...

Some warned of long-term consequences and suggested stronger actions:

SamuelVimesTrained - You have no ‘right to interfere’ - so, you should allow an entitled kid to steal a $1000 (random number) laptop? Give mom and dad the invoice -...

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Tell them it will be his / a gift once they ‘gift’ you the price you paid. NTA - but realize that since he is the entitled GC and you...

0-Ahem-0 - NTA. Move out.

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[Reddit User] - NTA. He’s way too old to be acting like that. He’s almost an adult, what will happen then? I agree to lock up your stuff, in case.

This story highlights how tough setting family boundaries can be, especially with entitled behavior. The sister was right to protect her laptop and talk it out, but it raises the question: How do you balance love and discipline in a family?

How would you handle an entitled family member? Can boundaries shift behavior, or does it take more? Share your thoughts below to keep the discussion going about fostering responsibility and respect in family ties.

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