AITA for not wanting to use my makeup that a friend with eczema used?

A fun night out turned into a social nightmare when a young woman, let’s call her OP, faced a tricky situation about sharing makeup. While getting ready with friends, OP let her friend Becky borrow her foundation—only to feel uneasy when she noticed Becky’s open eczema sores. Worried about hygiene, OP skipped using the foundation herself, a choice that sparked unexpected drama.

The situation escalated when another friend accused OP of being judgmental and bullying Becky over her skin condition. Hurt and confused, OP wondered if her discomfort was unfair. Was this just about hygiene, or did she unintentionally offend her friend?

‘AITA for not wanting to use my makeup that a friend with eczema used?’

It all started when OP and her friends gathered to prep for a party:

I have a friend, Becky, who has severe eczema. I don't really care about it, we hang out, hug, and I know it's not contagious. Last week we were going...

We sometimes swap clothes, no big deal, but I don't really let anyone use my make up not that I didn't want to but no one really asked me about...

Things got complicated when Becky asked to borrow OP’s makeup:

That day Becky asked if she could use my eyeshadow, I said sure. Then she asked to use my cake foundation. It had a cushion applicator that you swipe/press on...

Discomfort set in as OP watched Becky use the foundation:

Like I mentioned I know it's not contagious but she had some open breakouts and I was kinda grossed out using the applicator and cake itself, after she patted it...

Like I know I'm not gonna get it but I just can't with the sore fluids and all that, I think its unhygienic. Even if she patted it dry, I...

The fallout came when OP chose not to use the foundation, sparking conflict:

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So I ended up not using foundation at all. Only one friend asked me why, I didn't really say why I just said I didn't feel like it. She made...

Now they're all upset at me for being prissy and should've just said not to use it. Again, I was caught off guard. I was never asked to borrow my...

OP began questioning herself after the incident:

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Now I feel like an AH, because I was grossed out by it. I don't care if it's eczema or not, but I feel like I shouldn't have to use...

OP’s situation highlights the delicate balance between empathy and personal hygiene. Sharing makeup, especially foundation with a cushion applicator, carries risks of bacterial transfer, even without skin conditions. Dr. Joshua Zeichner, a dermatologist at Mount Sinai Hospital, notes, “Makeup products like foundation or lipstick can harbor bacteria from the skin, especially if applied to damaged areas”. Becky’s open eczema sores amplify this concern, making OP’s hesitation understandable.

Still, the issue isn’t just hygiene—it’s also about how OP handled it. Agreeing to share but then avoiding the foundation due to feeling “grossed out” may have left Becky feeling judged. Her friends’ accusations of prejudice likely stem from this miscommunication. A polite refusal upfront, citing general hygiene, could have prevented the drama.

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Becky’s choice to borrow makeup during a flare-up also raises questions. People with eczema are more prone to infections, and using shared products could harm her skin further. Both parties need to recognize that sharing makeup isn’t just personal—it’s a health matter.

For OP, the takeaway is learning to set boundaries tactfully. Next time, she could say, “I don’t share makeup for hygiene reasons, nothing personal.” A heartfelt conversation with Becky to explain and apologize could mend their friendship. Prioritizing health and mutual respect is key.

Check out how the community responded:

The online community jumped into the debate, with many backing OP for hygiene reasons. Several users stressed that sharing makeup is a bad idea, period:

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[Reddit User] - It's nothing to do with eczema I have it myself - sharing make up is incredibly unsanitary. Never do it.

Odd-End-1405 - Whether you are "judging" her condition is irrelevant. It IS unhygienic to share makeup applicators and makeup for the most part. If she wanted to share makeup,

you should use a single use applicator and NEVER double dip. Totally gross to double dip. Also, going the other way, she is putting YOUR skin and bacteria on her...

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AnneShurely - I'm guessing you are quite young bc anyone over the age of 13 should know not to share makeup applicators. That's f__king disgusting even without the eczema. Open...

EfficiencyForsaken96 - NTA. Next time you can say you don't share your make up with anyone because it can cause problems for both the owner of the makeup and the...

(Like bacteria or other things that do grow on cosmetics). You are protecting everyone. (And follow through, don't share. It's gross)

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Guilty-Company-9755 - NTA, sharing makeup is a no-no in general, especially eye makeup, mascara, lip products. It's not just for you, but she's putting all the gross stuff from your...

Cracker_Bites - Would those same friends share their make up in the same position? Probs not. Don't share make up. Make up artists have separate spoolies and applicators and sanitiser...

That's Becky's make up now. Hope it wasn't your high end supplies! Perhaps suggest to meet up at a mall and get a free makeover before going out next time?...

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Users with eczema chimed in, supporting OP while sharing their own caution:

Unhappy-Prune-9914 - NTA - I have eczema and I would never want to use someone else's products in case they also had something in the makeup that would trigger a...

She should not be asking and you should learn to say no. You should not be sharing any make up with anybody else even if they don’t have skin issues.

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Realistic-Pin-4617 - NTA - that’s just gross. Also as someone with eczema I can’t imagine putting makeup on top of a breakout, especially not with someone else’s applicators.

persephone-456 - NTA. I suffer from bad eczema myself. While eczema, itself, is not contagious, people with eczema are more susceptible to infections for the very reason that we frequently...

This is on top of the fact that sharing makeup isn’t super hygienic to begin with. The only thing to do differently in the future would be to say “no”...

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It’s possible that part of the reason your friend was so upset is because you essentially let her ruin your makeup. She might not have borrowed it if she had...

MucinexDM_MAX - NTA - Sharing foundation is a horrible idea anyway, even if someone's skin seems "clean". Big nope on that. If you want to share, get a pump bottle...

We don't share makeup, we SURE AS S__T do not share mascara, eyeliner, lipstick/stain/gloss, or foundation. Your friend likely felt really insecure about her face - I have eczema, I've...

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I get it and wanted to make you seem like a bad guy rather than acknowlege she doesn't have the funds/availability to have her own makeup, and she has a...

BUT, sharing in general is a bad idea. I don't share with my daughter. Don't do it, you will wake up one day with a cold sore or eye stye...

Edit: Please throw away any makeup she used, because of the open sores, and don't put foundation or ANYTHING over open sores on your face, ever.

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It's not worth risking infection and a permanent scar. Again, I'm sorry your friend has such a noticable issue, it sucks. But that doesn't make it okay to bully your...

Current_Equal7797 - NTA. I’ve had eczema since I was little. Does Becky see a dermatologist? If so, then she would learn about the types of bacteria that can grow on...

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Some argued OP was at fault for not being upfront:

day-gardener - YTA-but not because you don’t want to use the makeup now. YTA because you told her it was fine to use. Next time say you’d rather not for...

Swirlyflurry - If you don’t want to share makeup because it’s not hygienic, that’s fine. The problem is that you agreed to let her use your makeup. You should have...

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You literally said you ‘couldn’t help but feel grossed out,’ and that if she didn’t have a breakout at the time, you wouldn’t have cared. That implies that it wasn’t...

Again, if you don’t want to share makeup, then don’t. But saying you’re okay with her using your makeup, then changing your mind and being grossed out because she has...

Optimal_Movie_9327 - YTA for not just saying no in the first place. You were grossed out which your friends rightfully pointed out and you denying it is basically a lie.

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I get wanting to spare her feelings but you could have just said you dont want to share your make up in the first place that would have been completely...

That said I think your friend is kind of an AH too for wanting to borrow your foundation when she has an active breakout. I dont even understand sharing make...

Others offered constructive solutions to move forward:

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moontari - As a psoriasis girly I don’t think you’re the a hole, but I think this can be fixed with honest communication. We all have insecurities and that’s probably...

Treat her with kindness and explain your side of it. No it’s not contagious but someone else’s loose skin cells would be off putting to anyone. I don’t share makeup...

OP’s experience is a lesson in setting boundaries and communicating honestly. Her hygiene concerns were valid, but agreeing to share and then backing out likely fueled the misunderstanding. Becky may have felt hurt, yet she too should be mindful of health risks when borrowing makeup, especially with open sores.

This story shows how clarity and kindness can prevent conflicts. What should OP do to repair her friendship? Was her discomfort unfair, or just a natural reaction? Share your thoughts below!

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