AITA for not taking down my drawings even though they disturb my niece who’s living with us?

What happens when your personal space clashes with someone else’s comfort? That’s exactly the dilemma an 18-year-old artist found themselves in after their 17-year-old niece moved in and objected to the artwork hanging on the walls. The drawings—dark yet deeply personal creations inspired by dreams—became the center of a growing family dispute.

As the niece complained to their mother, arguing the images made her uncomfortable, the artist stood firm, insisting that the room was their private sanctuary—especially since they paid rent for it. The conflict quickly escalated into a debate about boundaries, respect, and who truly has the right to control a shared space. Social media users weighed in passionately, and the opinions were divided.

'AITA for not taking down my drawings even though they disturb my niece who's living with us?'

Everything started when the poster explained how their art was born out of their dreams and past experiences.

So I (18) have been cataloguing my dreams for a while, but it was only at the beginning of 2020 that I started to draw them. Now, I don't want...

The tension began when their niece moved in and objected to the artwork.

Most of them are just odd dream things, but there are some sinister/creepy drawings there. Anyway, my niece (17) started living with us at the beginning of June and she's...

She says they're gross and creepy and that she doesn't like them at all. She asked me when she first moved in if I could take them down, but I...

Family pressure soon entered the picture.

Now, 27 days later, she's been complaining to my mum about them, because my mum asked me if I would take them down. I said no again.

The poster held firm, emphasizing boundaries and ownership of the space.

ADVERTISEMENT

I reminded my mum that niece is simply bunking with me and whilst she is welcome, she (niece) has no authority over what I do to my room.

Frustration built as the niece claimed emotional harm and “safe space” concerns.

My mum pulled the 'you're an adult' card and whilst that's true, I turned 18 in February and would NOT class myself as an actual adult yet. Now niece is...

ADVERTISEMENT

EDIT: they're tiny- each drawing is 10cmx7cm. ALSO, niece was originally meant to stay in the spare room, but she didn't like it, so asked to bunk with me. I...

This story highlights a classic boundary conflict between personal autonomy and shared living arrangements. The poster’s refusal to remove the drawings stems from the need for self-expression—especially since their art reflects emotional healing and identity. On the other hand, the niece’s discomfort reveals how aesthetics and emotional sensitivity can clash in tight living spaces.

Family therapist Dr. John Gottman from The Gottman Institute notes, “Conflict often arises not because of what people fight about, but how they manage differences. When respect and empathy are missing, even small issues become symbolic battles.” This applies perfectly here—the drawings symbolize autonomy for one person and anxiety for another. In shared living scenarios, it’s crucial to establish ground rules early.

ADVERTISEMENT

The niece had the option of another room, yet chose to share the artist’s space, making her objections less reasonable. Still, open communication can ease tension—perhaps the two could compromise by rearranging the room or hanging a curtain divider to separate visual areas. From a psychological angle, the niece’s strong reaction might also be tied to emotional triggers rather than the art itself.

The poster could show empathy by asking why the drawings disturb her so deeply, while calmly reaffirming boundaries. Mutual respect—not control—is the foundation of peaceful coexistence. Ultimately, this situation underlines a broader truth: maintaining personal space and self-expression becomes even more vital when living with family. It’s not about “winning” but about ensuring both people feel safe—without erasing what makes one of them feel at home.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Many users supported the artist, emphasizing their right to control their space.

ADVERTISEMENT

rlederm − NTA because 1. You're paying rent for your room but you still have to share it 2. There is a spare room but niece "doesn't like it" This...

then either you should pay less or she should start paying. Also, if she doesn't like your room or what's in it, she can drag her ass to that spare...

XStonedCatX − After reading the OP's responses, NTA She chose to bunk with you instead of in the spare room. If she doesn't like it, there is a whole empty...

ADVERTISEMENT

bisexual_fool − NTA. Your niece is a year younger than you, that’s not a big enough age difference to pull the “you’re an adult” card. It’s your room, you shouldn’t...

honeyalyks − NTA. It is important for people to have their own space, a safe space or whatever you want to call it. Your room is this space, a space...

If she wants to cry about having a safe space, you can kindly remind her that is your space, not hers. You can even try to help her find her...

ADVERTISEMENT

Especially if these drawings bring you happiness or comfort or you just like them. You have every right to display YOUR art in YOUR space.

ravenofmyheart − NTA especially since there is another room she could be staying in.

Some offered practical advice and raised questions about fairness.

ADVERTISEMENT

lkowg − NTA ​ Since you pay rent: Why do you share your room? That should cut your rent in half. ​ You might consider moving out, and renting somehwere...

Massive-Emergency-42 − INFO: You said that you are paying rent. Is she also paying rent? Has your rent been halved to compensate you for sharing your space? NTA. You pay...

It would also be nice if she asked politely and didn’t whine about them being gross then throw a fit about safe spaces like someone who doesn’t know what that...

ADVERTISEMENT

It would also be nice if your mom gave you a break on rent to compensate for taking them down rather than indirectly calling you childish. You’re getting a raw...

Warriormuffinhed − Why are you allowing her in your room if you pay rent for it? Respectfully ask her to bunk elsewhere as she is making YOU feel uncomfortable and...

A few users lightened the mood with humor and playful remarks.

ADVERTISEMENT

Markusvlad − She had two choices and chose the one she would get to complain about. That's a power move she's trying to pull. Put up worse drawings till she...

Downtown_Confection9 − Nta. Ngl, my 16 yo draws creepier s__t so if your neice can't handle your art work at 17 I don't know what to say. .. Your new...

Some other opinions from users.

ADVERTISEMENT

singing_stream − Given that your niece **chose** to stay in your room rather than the other one she was offered, she's the a__hole here. She chose to stay there knowing...

You're also paying to rent the room and she's not. . therefore it's yours. NTA. ​ I do wonder what her issue is exactly though; it's unusual for a very...

Mix that with the not wanting your pics on the wall, and i'm wondering; Does she have severe anxiety issues ? might be worth mentioning to her that a therapist...

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA its your room, thereby your property. If Niece doesn't like it, she can change rooms.

sienkse − NTA, especially after I read the comment where OP said that their niece had a whole room for themself but chose not to sleep there.

ADVERTISEMENT

chruetziii − NTA - your room, your rules

MsPotatoHead123 − NTA. If there is a spare room for her to stay in and she’s not then that’s her problem. You can put whatever you want on your walls...

While some readers sympathized with the niece’s discomfort, most agreed that the artist had every right to keep their art displayed—especially since they pay rent and offered their space out of kindness. The situation underscores how quickly family harmony can fracture when personal boundaries blur. If you were in this artist’s shoes, would you take the drawings down for peace—or stand firm for your self-expression?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *