AITA for making my daughters share an easel my mom gifted only to the oldest?

Two little girls, ages 4 and 5, love painting together—and their mom had the perfect Christmas plan: one easel for both. Grandma swooped in with an offer to buy “the girls” the gift. What showed up? A massive double-sided easel labeled for the oldest alone, complete with a dramatic “big girl” reveal. When parents declared it shared property, all hell broke loose.

Clearly, the fallout runs deeper than art supplies. Social media users slammed the manipulation, praised the parents’ calm fix, and called out grandma’s unresolved sibling baggage. Relatives piled on, but the kids? They happily doodle side-by-side. The real picture: a family portrait cracked by old grudges and new tantrums.

'AITA for making my daughters share an easel my mom gifted only to the oldest?'

The idea started sweet—the mom spotted easels online, earmarked one for joint holiday magic.

I have two daughters, ages 4 and 5. They both love arts and crafts, painting and drawing. For a while, I've been looking at getting them an easel to share....

She called me a few weeks ago and says, "Can I buy the girls an easel for Christmas? They're expensive and I know you've been wanting them to have one."...

Christmas Eve arrived, gifts piled high. The oldest tore into a giant box—addressed to her alone.

Fast forward to Christmas Eve, we're doing gifts with my parents and my oldest unwraps a huge gift addressed to only her. My mom the entire time makes this whole...

I feel like its also important to point out that she got my oldest several other nice gifts and only my younger daughter two very small things. This is because...

We also absolutely do not favor either kid, my mom has always had this weird thing where she feels like oldest children "always get the raw end of the deal"....

and she's made it her mission to make that everyone else's problem. She used to be awful to my sister and blatantly favor me because I'm older.

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Mom pulled grandma aside for clarity—the deal was supposed to be shared.

I pull my mom aside and ask about it, because I was under the impression that the easel was going to be a shared gift. I explained that I would've...

She goes on to say she knows, and that's why she said it'd be for both. She says she feels like my older daughter doesn't ever get "big girl things"...

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Which first of all, they're a year apart. The appropriate toys for their ages are not that different and I would certainly say an easel is appropriate for both ages....

and said "If you want the baby to have an easel, buy her one." I'm upset because this is something I really wanted for the two of them and fully...

Parents chatted, decided sharing made sense—especially with a double-sided model.

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My wife and I talked it over after guests went home and decided that the easel will be a shared toy. We don't have space for a second one, and...

We sat my 5 year old down to explain and she was initially a little bummed because it was presented as hers, but quickly perked up and was excited to...

Grandma dropped by days later and lost it seeing the younger girl painting.

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A few days ago, my mom comes over and sees my 4 year old playing with the easel and loses her s__t. I explained our decision to have it be...

She says my kids don't have enough of their own stuff, and we're obsessed with sharing. I wouldn't say that's true, but a lot of their stuff doesn't make sense...

They do both have items that are just theirs, that just doesn't feel like the right call for the easel. I would have done the exact same thing if it...

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Now, she's mad and won't talk to us. We've had calls from relatives telling us what we did was wrong and that we had no right. We tried to vent...

she'd have been hurt too because it's not our call to make because we didn't buy it. She also says she'd be upset in my 5 year olds position. So,...

EDIT I worded it poorly I'm my original post, but we did ask her, not tell her. When I say we explained, I mean that we sat her down and...

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Edit 2 Because it's been asked, yes, my mom was the oldest and so am I. She feels like she was treated poorly due to that. So, when my sister...

I don't believe her behavior is truly because she thinks we favor the younger kid, I thinks just more of her weird h__red for younger siblings. Also, my kids both...

Last Edit- I should've mentioned right away, it's a doubld sided children's easel. They can easily play on it at the same time. I couldn't find the exact link, but...

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Edit 2- Because it's been asked, yes, my mom was the oldest and so am I. She feels like she was treated poorly due to that. So, when my sister...

I don't believe her behavior is truly because she thinks we favor the younger kid, I thinks just more of her weird h__red for younger siblings. Also, my kids both...

Fast forward to Christmas Eve, we're doing gifts with my parents and my oldest unwraps a huge gift addressed to only her. My mom the entire time makes this whole...

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I feel like its also important to point out that she got my oldest several other nice gifts and only my younger daughter two very small things. This is because...

and goes out of her way to counter the perceived favoritism. We also absolutely do not favor either kid, my mom has this weird thing where she feels like oldest...

This showdown reveals generational scars more than toy ownership. Grandma’s oldest-child trauma fuels favoritism flips—she overcorrects perceived slights, creating real ones. Parents prioritize harmony and practicality; a double-sided easel screams “share me.”

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Dr. Laura Markham, clinical psychologist and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings, notes, “When grandparents undermine parents, kids learn divided loyalty.” She advises clear boundaries: gifts enter the parents’ domain once given. Grandma’s outburst models entitlement, not fairness.

Set firm rules—equal spending per child, no surprise labels. If grandma refuses, pause gift involvement. Therapy could unpack her sibling resentment before it poisons grandkids’ bond. Parents already nailed the talk with their 5-year-old; keep modeling generosity. Space limits make duplicates silly anyway. United parenting trumps drama every time.

Check out how the community responded:

Users overwhelmingly backed the parents, calling out grandma’s sneaky switch.

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[Reddit User] − At 4 and 5, every toy is a shared toy and there’s no reason why you should prohibit your 4 year old from using the easel. It’s...

Why are grown adults throwing tantrums and creating drama over children using the same f__king easel? Edit: reading some of the comments, I guess having parents who couldn’t afford to...

and I in our own individual things made me less of a dramatic d__khead who creates problems where there aren’t any. Weird how many people think it’s pivotal that small...

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Sharing the easel benefits both kids immensely. Allowing one kid to enjoy the easel while the other watches and can’t ever play with it herself is definitely not ideal.

freezerwraith − Once I give a gift to someone, it is out of my hands what they do with that gift. If I give my neice an art easel, she...

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Once it leaves my hands and is recieved by the recipient, that's that! They no longer have a say in how your family uses it. NTA, but your mom is....

1000thatbeyotch − NTA. She lied about it being a gift for both girls. I would go limited contact with her if she cannot respect your parenting boundaries.

The way she presented it to your daughter also made it seem that she thinks less of your younger daughter simply because she is younger. She perpetuates the favoritism stigma.

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toastedmarsh7 − NTA. Your mom is butting in to cause problems in your home. It’s time for a grandma timeout. Gifts that take up a large amount of space in...

My kids know that they can have “special” toys that they don’t have to share but they have to put them away when they’re done with them. They can’t leave...

I would probably give this easel back to grandma and pick up one of my own from ikea. Fwiw my youngest got an ikea easel for Christmas this year.

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It’s technically hers because she’s the only child who consistently wants to draw/paint/do arts and crafts but she hasn’t balked about sharing it, even the first day we opened it.

forgetregret1day − Your mother is being ridiculous. If she has some kind of unresolved childhood trauma around sharing or whatever her issues are, she needs to work them out in...

She’s making this a huge issue when it’s not, so I’d put her and all your other nosy family on ignore. It’s very common for kids that young to share...

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A couple urged stronger pushback to protect the sisters’ bond.

jobrummy − NTA, your mother did it to be spiteful, and it’s clear that she has a favorite grandchild. She even went so far as to lie to you and...

If you keep allowing her to do things like this, it’s going to destroy your relationship with your children. Edit: after looking at your edits, you need to give the...

You also need to stand up to your mother and tell her to stop mistreating your younger child because of her resentment for her own parents/siblings. She even displayed this...

l3ex_G − Nta you need to go low contact with your mom because she is going to make the relationship between your kids toxic. She needs therapy to heal her...

Certain gifts are just going to automatically be shared. An easel is going to be an easily shared gift and your mom needs to get over it. Again, please limit...

Light voices laughed off the absurdity.

unknown_928121 − You need to stop allowing your MIL unfiltered access to your family

Lazy-Historian827 − NTA big gifts for 2 kids very close in age need to be shared. Especially as there was such a discrepancy in Grandma’s gift giving. If you only...

Mumfiegirl − I was ready to call you an AH based on the title, but having read the post NTA

Maybaby31 − I don’t get all the people saying your the A. If they were like 5+ years apart then I’d get your mothers point of not having the kids...

craftcrazyzebra − NTA your Mother was manipulative and dishonest when asking if she could buy it. Which she happily admitted to too. She knew that you were planning to buy...

She’s hung up on a child being favoured/less favoured and is doing exactly that by favouring your eldest over her sister. This is equally as cruel as her childhood and...

Maybe in future (if she still wants and is welcomed to be part of your family) suggest or make it part of your agreement that she spends an equal amount...

Explain that you don’t want your youngest growing up thinking her Grandmother thinks less of and loves her less, you don’t want her to need therapy as an adult like...

PuddleLilacAgain − NTA Wow, your mother is a bad example for your children. "Let's teach them to be selfish and greedy because I had bad experiences as a child! Let...

bluestjordan − Uhhh… OP, more important than the easel, you’re going to let your mother poison—not only your relationship with your eldest—but also your daughters’ relationship with each other? I...

You mention you were the eldest, do your younger siblings like you or your mom? I’m sure they have a lot of resentment. Sort of NTA in this case, but...

VeritasB − NTA, ffs they are 4 and 5. They won't even remember who got it to begin with. Your mother however is out of control. Losing her s__t and...

I don't understand the whole family mob mentality. Why do people sic their families on each other? That alone would cause me to cut them off. geesh.

A double-sided easel meant for creativity became a battleground for old grudges. Parents chose unity; grandma chose chaos and rallied backup. Social media agreed: once gifted, parents rule the playroom. The girls paint happily together while adults learn sharing starts at the top. Would you return the easel to keep the peace, or stand firm and let grandma cool off?

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