WIBTA if I put a lien against my parents’ house and sued them for my college tuition?

What happens when the people you trust most decide your future doesn’t matter as much as someone else’s dreams? A 17-year-old girl stands on the edge of adulthood, clutching her college acceptance letter, only to learn her parents redirected her grandmother’s legacy fund to her sister’s art residency instead.

The betrayal unfolded at a family birthday dinner. Cheers for the sister’s opportunity quickly turned to shock when parents announced the fund—meant for three grandchildren’s education—would leave nothing for the youngest. Grandparents protested. An uncle, a lawyer, stepped in. Tears flowed. The night ended with threats of lawsuits and liens on the family home. This isn’t just about money. It exposes raw questions of fairness, favoritism, and what parents owe their children when promises break.

‘WIBTA if I put a lien against my parents’ house and sued them for my college tuition?’

The story opens with the poster’s background and the original purpose of the college fund.

I, 17F, am graduating high school next month and am set to attend my first-choice college with a partial scholarship in the fall. It's an instate school about an hour...

I should only be 5 semesters from finishing my bachelor's degree and then going for the master's degree I need for the career I want. Five years ago my Mamaw,...

Mom's Aunt Teresa was supposed to oversee it, but she died in 2020, and somehow my parents wound up in charge. I don't know all the details because I was...

I'm not even sure exactly how it was structured or how much there was, except that it was supposed to be enough to cover a significant amount of our expenses...

Tension builds at a family dinner when the sister reveals her plans.

Kelsey is a fine arts major and her first year of college was derailed by lockdowns, and she wound up losing an entire year. She was supposed to go back...

but last night at our Grandpa's birthday dinner (Dad's dad) she announced that she had been invited to participate in a Junior Artist in Residence study program and was deferring...

She said there wasn't one, but Mamaw's money would cover her living expenses. My uncle said that between me starting college and them covering that, the fund would be empty...

ADVERTISEMENT

That's when my dad said that since I had scholarships and my sister needed it more, I wouldn't be getting any of the money Mamaw left for us. Everyone was...

but my parents insisted that it was important to support my sister's artistic goals "the way we never were", and that I'd be fine. When my grandparents argued with them,...

I was in tears and my sister was upset that people weren't happier for her. When my uncle asked if there was even going to be money left for my...

ADVERTISEMENT

The argument explodes and the family discusses legal action.

Everyone got in a huge argument and my parents and sister left. My grandparents, uncle, and aunt got to talking and my uncle, who is a lawyer, says he's going...

and that we may have to sue them for my share of the college money because he believes they mismanaged it. My grandparents are worried about them mortgaging the house...

ADVERTISEMENT

and suggested we take out a lien against the house for my tuition money so they can't use it to get a loan to pay for my sister's expenses. WIBTA...

The update reveals the true size of the fund and next steps.

Update: Thank you all for the advice. I know you can't just "put a lien" against the house, but my uncle and grandparents are talking about suing for the money...

ADVERTISEMENT

They want to move quick before my parents can "do any other stupid crap" as my Grandpa put it. We all know if my parents spent the money, there is...

My parents inheriting the house from Mamaw was the only way they could afford a home, they have never been good with money, so growing up my grandparents covered a...

They are worried what will happen to my parents if they do take out a loan on the house because none of us believe they would be able to pay...

ADVERTISEMENT

but most importantly, I was able to call Kyle and since he was an adult when Mamaw died he actually has a copy of the will somewhere that he says...

According to Kyle there was a 300,000 life insurance policy from when PopPop, my maternal grandfather, died, and Mamaw saved it for us to use for college. He's not sure...

except he is pissed because his college didn't cost very much and what wasn't used was supposed to be distributed when we all graduated or turned 25, whichever happened first....

ADVERTISEMENT

I knew my sisters school was expensive, it's a private college, but I guess I assumed she was using loans or a scholarship or something? I never really thought about...

I just focused on doing well and getting as many dual enrollment credits as my school would allow so I wouldn't have to spend as much time or money when...

When he told me I was in tears because 100K would more than cover my bachelors degree and probably my masters degree too. What I want to do (meteorology) really...

ADVERTISEMENT

My parents were mad at me when I went home last night like I had caused the fight, so I just went to bed then went to work this morning,...

My best friend says I didn't do anything wrong and just sort of got sucked into everyone else's drama and scheming, which seems pretty accurate. Even more stupid is that...

they only saved for my aunts kids college funds, so they feel bad too, and Grandpa's birthday dinner got ruined. I got him some cheesecake from my work and I'm...

ADVERTISEMENT

Either way I got into my first choice college and am going to go, even if I have to sell blood or take out loans, so I've got that going...

I'm trying really hard not to let this affect me too much because I still have final exams coming up and even though my grades are good I don't want...

My brother suggested in the meanwhile that I can file paperwork for my fafsa to not have my parents income counted, just my own, so I might be able to...

ADVERTISEMENT

The core conflict centers on parents reallocating a designated college fund from one child to another. The trigger came during a family announcement favoring the sister’s art program over the poster’s education. Parents, sister, poster, and extended family all felt the impact. Values of equity clash with parental discretion. Emotions like resentment and guilt fueled the escalation.

Parents fear failing to support the sister’s unique talents. They draw from their own unmet dreams. The sister expects continued funding without questioning depletion. The poster faces insecurity about her future stability. Communication broke down at the dinner table. No one paused to discuss shares or legal structures beforehand.

Relationship expert Dr. Sue Johnson explained that “secure bonds require partners to respond to each other’s vulnerabilities with empathy rather than defense” (Hold Me Tight, 2008). This principle extends to family. Parents defended their choice aggressively. The poster received dismissal instead of reassurance. Empathy gaps widened the rift.

ADVERTISEMENT

Schedule a calm family meeting with a neutral mediator. List exact fund amounts and intended divisions in writing. The poster should express specific needs like tuition costs. Parents must acknowledge past mismanagement. Start small repayments if possible. Rebuild trust through transparent bank statements shared monthly.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Social media users weighed in heavily on this family fund dispute. Opinions split sharply between backing the young poster’s claim, cautioning legal risks, and clarifying misconceptions about liens and trusts. The thread revealed strong emotions on all sides.Many commenters supported the poster fully. They saw clear mismanagement and urged legal action.

ChaoticCapricorn − This sounds like they horribly mismanaged the money. A fund that was supposed to cover even 50% of 3 college tuitions should have had a HEALTHY 6 figure...

ADVERTISEMENT

During the discovery your uncle may find out some disturbing truths, but secrets especially money secrets always are the worst. Whether you do or don't your relationship with your parents...

kiwihoney − NTA for asking the question, but this is outside Reddit’s pay grade. You need a lawyer. I’m so sorry this is happening to you, it’s a horrible situation...

ADVERTISEMENT

EDIT: sorry I missed that your uncle is a lawyer earlier. No it doesn’t make you the a__hole here if you sued them. But you’re the one who has to...

which could be the result of a lawsuit. I’m not trying to sound discouraging, just thinking realistically of the long term impact on your family relationship. If they mismanaged the...

klrobx − You can’t put a lien against someone’s house for any old reason. What your parents decide to do with their own home is their business, you can’t stop...

ADVERTISEMENT

Now, if a court decides they mismanaged the money and they do owe you a certain amount, they certainly can take out a loan at that time to pay you...

Your lawyer uncle needs to take the reins on this one. He needs to get a copy of the will stating that funds were set aside, and statements from the...

No-Tip9211 − What gets me is your sister just assumed she would get her tuition money to live off of AND get money for her last year of college and...

ADVERTISEMENT

Several responses pushed for professional legal guidance first. They stressed details like wills and trusts matter greatly.

Aggressive_Idea_6806 − You need a lawyer (not your uncle, have him make a referral) to determine how exactly the funds were left. Your uncle can probably look up the will...

You need to find out if there was anything like a trust, with named beneficiaries or if there was just an account that was "for college" but without any rules...

ADVERTISEMENT

There is a trust in a family close to me where upon passing of the original funder, the money was split into separate sub accounts earmarked for each heir. Trustees...

Or that their parents use it as intended to benefit minor children. The trustees are "fiduciaries" which means they cannot do things like deprive an heir of their rightful (defined)...

Or allow parents of minor heirs to do so. But if OP's grandparents didn't define heirs and their rights, then who knows? The above is not legal advice, you need...

Snoo_49175 − Do you know how much money was on the account? Some of the older people sat aside tuition money for younger people thinking 5k is enough per kid...

You were under the assumption that college was paid for because mawmaw said so. But mawmaw probably through $20 was a lot of money when it now barely covers getting...

A few took neutral or alternative angles. They explored possible explanations or practical next steps without firm judgment.

BKRF1999 − Several things could have happened. Grandma didn't leave as much as everyone thought, aunt mismanaged money, parents mismanaged money. Terrible situation. Follow uncle's guidance since he's a lawyer.

Cultural_Section_862 − you need a lawyer's advice, not ours

Restil − It all depends on the fund. If it was one single fund and the conditions were just "spend it on whoever until it runs out" then you may...

You wouldn't be able to put a lien on the house without first winning a lawsuit and getting a judgement against them, which is already a long shot and not...

Even then, a lien doesn't prevent them from getting a mortgage. People get second mortgages all the time. As long as they have enough equity, nothing is going to prevent...

miracle-maxine − Luckily this was caught now and your uncle and grandparents have your back! You should also check your credit to make sure they haven't used your SS# to...

If your Mamaw also willed her property to your parents, finding a way for you and your brother to claim it inlue of the mismanagement of the college fund is...

It doesn't mean you have to kick them out, but hopefully the title can be changed to you and your brother (if your sister has already eaten up her thrid...

This family saga highlights how inherited funds meant for equal opportunity can spark deep divisions when parents play favorites. The grandmother intended security for all grandchildren’s education. Mismanagement eroded that promise. It teaches that clear legal structures in wills prevent heartbreak. Open talks about money early avoid surprises. The poster shows resilience by pursuing aid and focusing on exams despite chaos.

Readers face similar choices in their lives. Would you sue your own parents to secure your education, knowing it might fracture the family forever? Or would you walk away with loans to preserve peace, betting on your own grit?

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *