AITA for thinking my parents should give me more money and cutting them out if they don’t?

A woman feels cheated after receiving less inheritance than her sisters. Her parents and grandparents left money for her and her two sisters to buy houses, promising £30,000 each. While her older sister received £30,000 at 18, she and her younger sister got theirs later, but she discovered she received only £21,000, while her younger sister also got £30,000. Her parents lied about the disparity.

She’s upset by their favoritism and deception, considering confronting them and cutting contact if they refuse to pay the difference. Reddit supports her demand for answers but questions her approach. Was she wrong to consider cutting them off? How should she address this unfair treatment?

‘AITA for thinking my parents should give me more money and cutting them out if they don’t?’

The family promised £30,000 for each sister’s house:

My grandparents and parents both left money, for us to buy a house. Growing up, I was told it was around 30,000. I have two sisters one 26F, the other...

eventually they gave it to my little sister when she was 21 and decided to give it to me at that moment because she had it. So pretty unfair from...

Her younger sister also received £30,000:

However, I have spoke to my little sister about this recently and realised she had also received 30,000. To make things worse, both my sisters spent half of theirs in...

I get it’s their money but it upsets me they are aware of it and are lying to me. I treat my parents well and don’t understand why they would...

She’s considering confronting them and cutting contact:

I am meant to be visiting my parents for a few days where I was going to bring it up but I don’t know if I want to visit just...

There have been a few disparities between me and my sisters growing up so I think if they refuse I will cut them off as I am more or less...

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The woman’s frustration over receiving £9,000 less than her sisters stems from perceived favoritism and her parents’ dishonesty. The promised £30,000 was meant to be equal, and discovering her younger sister also received the full amount, while she was lied to, understandably breeds resentment. Her financial prudence—doubling her share through saving—contrasts with her sisters’ spending, amplifying her sense of injustice. This disparity suggests deeper family dynamics at play.

The parents’ lie about giving both younger sisters less indicates an attempt to avoid accountability, which erodes trust. Favoritism, whether intentional or not, can damage sibling relationships and self-esteem (McHale et al., 2000). Her threat to cut contact reflects hurt but risks escalating the conflict without resolution. The delay in her receiving the money, compared to her older sister, further fuels perceptions of unfair treatment.

Her parents’ reasoning for the disparity remains unclear, and their refusal to address it could deepen the rift. Demanding the £9,000 may be seen as entitled, but seeking an explanation is reasonable. Cutting them off without dialogue, however, could lead to regret, as family estrangement often carries long-term emotional costs (Pillemer, 2020). A measured approach could clarify intentions and preserve relationships.

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She should calmly confront her parents, preferably in person, asking why she received less and why they lied. Checking legal documents, like a will, could clarify if the funds were mismanaged. Family therapy might help address favoritism and rebuild trust. If their response remains dismissive, setting boundaries, rather than immediate estrangement, could protect her emotional well-being while leaving room for future reconciliation.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit backs the woman’s demand for answers, slamming her parents’ lies with gusto.

Many urge confronting parents about the disparity.

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NewtoFL2 - NTA. You should bring it up. They will likely whine about your sisters needed it more. I doubt you can legally demand it (but maybe), but you can...

[Reddit User] - NTA. The issue isn’t the money unless it was in the Grandparents will that you specifically were supposed to get the $30k. I think the bigger issue...

They also gave both sister $30k and only shorted you. Also they gave both sisters the money while they were younger than you and only made you wait.

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It sounds like you should cut them off either way because you got the typical middle child treatment but it doesn’t hurt to give them the chance to make it...

HarryJohnson3 - NTA I would sit them down and ask why the fk they are lying to you. Tell them if the money was lost then you want to know...

If they have reasons or justifications for why you got less money then say you’d like to hear those reasons because you deserve to know. However, tell them what you...

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sybilllestrange - Do not understand the AH comments - why is it entitled for her to expect equality with her sisters who both got £30k? ?? NTA by a long...

Some question the fairness of the money distribution:

Enough-Process9773 - You can quite fairly ask without being an AH:

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- What I was told was that we were each getting (about) £30,000 to help us buy a house.

- Why did I only get £21,000 of this money when both 26F sister and 22F sister got £30,000?

- When I asked about this before, I was told 26F sister got £30,000 at age 18 because she was older, and when I and my 22F sister got ours,...

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But since then, I've found out you lied to me about this: 22F sister got £30,000. I'd really like to know why you decided I should only have £21,000. And...

What you've spent or saved is not relevant: what your sisters have done with theirs is not relevant. The disparity is relevant, and it's fair to ask why they lied...

That your older sister got her share age 18 and you and your younger sister didn't get yours til you were in your 20s isn't worth arguing about - in...

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JollyForce9237 - NTA It would be one thing if they realised they couldn't give you both 30.000 but they gave your little sister 30.000 and you 21.000 at the same...

[Reddit User] - NTA. The blatant lie should absolutely be confronted.

lipgloss_addict - Was the money in a will? Who is the executor of the will? You might have a case if they stole from an estate. If not, your parents...

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Others suggest a measured approach over demanding money.

Big_Alternative_3233 - I don’t think you should ask for more but you should be direct with them that you know you got less and that they lied about it and...

tinyahjumma - I think it’s more appropriate to demand a truthful answer for the disparity, rather than the money. It would make much more sense to yourself and outsiders for...

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CraftyHon - I’m going to go against the popular opinion and say, yes, send your parents a text, explaining that you are upset about the disparity between the amount of...

and the subsequent lie that they told about giving your younger sister the same reduced amount that they gave you. Please emphasize that it’s the favoritism that rankles.

I think text is the way to go because it allows you to dispassionately state the facts, review what you’ve written, and it also allows them time to think about...

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Some seek clarification about details of the situation.

Old_Sheepherder_630 - INFO: You doubled 21K in 6 months by 'saving? ' How did that work?

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trishsf - I just want to know how to double my money through saving. Investing I understand. But. How do you double 21K through saving?

Ok-Description3060 - I feel like there’s a lot more to this story

The woman’s anger over receiving £9,000 less than her sisters for a house purchase, coupled with her parents’ lie about the disparity, has fueled her desire to confront them and potentially cut contact. Reddit supports her demand for transparency but cautions against focusing solely on the money.

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Was the woman wrong to consider cutting off her parents over the unequal inheritance? How can families address perceived favoritism in financial decisions? Share your thoughts below!

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One Comment

  1. YTA. This is their money. What they do with it is their decision. We don’t know what has happened it the past and OP may not be giving us the whole story. Maybe the parents are doing an advance on inheritance. It is money given to a child during the parents’ lifetime that’s meant to count against what that child will eventually inherit. Parents often do this so things stay fair if one child already received financial help earlier (like help with a house or loan forgiveness).