AITA For telling my parents that my husband that if they don’t like our lifestyle they can leave?

When you work hard to design a lifestyle that brings you joy, it can be extra frustrating when family members impose their outdated expectations on your way of living. In this post, a successful couple explains how they prioritize quality of life over traditional home-cooked meals. Despite earning well over six figures and having a fully paid-off condo with a cleaning service, their parents were upset that they only cooked breakfast during their visit.

Rather than compromise their lifestyle—which includes ordering out and enjoying time together after long work hours—the couple set clear boundaries, even going as far as telling their parents, “If you don’t like our lifestyle, you can leave.” This bold statement, though harsh in the moment, was an effort to protect their hard-earned way of life.

Their candid exchange escalated quickly, leading to a temporary fallout that forced both sides to reexamine their priorities. Ultimately, the couple’s actions highlight the struggle between maintaining independence and honoring family expectations.

‘AITA For telling my parents that my husband that if they don’t like our lifestyle they can leave?’

Dr. Sandra Mitchell, a family psychologist with expertise in financial boundaries and work–life balance, explains that setting clear limits around personal finances and lifestyle choices is not only healthy, but necessary for maintaining emotional well-being.

“When couples reach a point where their lifestyle decisions—such as choosing to outsource meals and household chores—align with their personal values and financial security, it’s vital they assert boundaries,” she notes. In this case, the couple has worked hard to ensure that their decisions are sustainable; they’ve paid off loans, built a robust savings cushion, and structured their life in a way that maximizes their quality of life.

Dr. Mitchell further emphasizes that the parents’ intrusive questions and criticisms about spending are not only unwarranted but also counterproductive. “Financial independence is a core aspect of adult autonomy. When family members impose their opinions on how money should be spent, it can lead to significant stress and resentment,” she explains.

The couple’s response—telling their parents that if they don’t like their lifestyle, they’re free to leave—is an example of setting a firm boundary. While the delivery might have been harsh in the moment, it reflects the couple’s need to protect their personal space and reaffirm that decisions regarding finances and daily routines are their own, not up for debate.

According to Dr. Mitchell, these kinds of boundaries are essential for preventing ongoing conflicts. “It’s important for everyone involved to understand that a lifestyle is deeply personal. What works for one generation might not work for another,” she adds. In this instance, the couple’s approach is a reflection of their maturity and financial prudence, and while it may have ruffled some feathers, it ultimately protects their right to live as they see fit.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The overwhelming sentiment among commenters is that the couple is not at fault. Many applaud their right to set boundaries regarding their finances and lifestyle. Commenters agree that when you’ve secured financial freedom and chosen a lifestyle that works for you, intrusive judgments from family are unwarranted. Some even argue that the ultimatum was a necessary wake-up call to prevent further unsolicited commentary.

In the end, this isn’t just about cooking or cleaning—it’s about asserting the right to live your life on your own terms. The couple’s decision to stand by their lifestyle, despite family disapproval, challenges outdated notions about what a “proper” home should look like.

What do you think? Should personal finances and lifestyle choices be completely off-limits for family debate, or is there room for compromise? Share your thoughts and experiences—let’s discuss how we navigate generational differences in the pursuit of happiness.