AITA for forcing my son to buy a more “appropriate” swimsuit?

On a sun-soaked Caribbean cruise, one family’s vacation took an unexpected detour when a father stepped in to “correct” his 18‐year-old son’s choice of swimwear. The incident, laced with both humor and exasperation, highlights the tricky terrain of setting boundaries with adult children—even in relaxed, vacation settings. The father, while admiring his son’s self-assurance, felt compelled to intervene in what he considered an inappropriate display at the pool.

In a scenario where fun meets family values, emotions ran high as the son was forced to purchase an alternative swimsuit. The narrative invites us to explore when parental guidance crosses into overreach and whether maintaining decorum should outweigh an adult’s freedom of expression on holiday.

‘AITA for forcing my son to buy a more “appropriate” swimsuit?’

Experts in adolescent behavior and parental guidance acknowledge that parenting an 18-year-old can be particularly challenging when it comes to setting boundaries. Dr. Eleanor Matthews, a family therapist specializing in the transition to adulthood, explains that “While young adults are capable of making their own decisions, parents often struggle to relinquish control completely, especially when it comes to matters of public decency and self-presentation.”

According to Dr. Matthews, the father’s actions may stem from a genuine concern for his son’s reputation and the way he is perceived in public spaces, particularly in a family environment where diverse age groups are present. Further, experts note that cruise ships and similar public settings often have unwritten norms regarding appropriate attire, even though these guidelines may vary by region and context.

“A parent’s instinct to guide their child, even into young adulthood, isn’t necessarily about control—it can be about teaching them social expectations,” says Dr. Robert Hayes, an expert in social psychology.

“When an individual chooses attire that pushes societal boundaries, it can prompt a necessary conversation about the context in which certain clothing is appropriate.” In this instance, the father’s insistence on buying a more modest swimsuit could be seen as an effort to balance self-expression with the norms of the environment.

However, there is a counterargument in favor of granting autonomy. Critics argue that at 18, Jax is legally an adult, capable of making his own decisions about how he dresses, and that imposing additional costs on him could be viewed as overbearing. “The key lies in open dialogue rather than imposition,” notes Dr. Matthews.

“If both parties can discuss their perspectives without resorting to ultimatums, it may lead to more effective and respectful decision-making.” Ultimately, the incident highlights the tension between parental guidance and young adult independence—a dynamic that continues to evolve as adolescents transition into adulthood.

Check out how the community responded:

The online community provided mixed reactions to the incident. Some commenters defended the father’s decision, arguing that on a family cruise, setting limits on revealing attire is reasonable. Others contended that, at 18, Jax should have the freedom to choose his own swimwear without incurring extra expenses dictated by parental preferences. The debate often centered on whether the father was being overly controlling or simply providing necessary guidance about appropriate public behavior.

In conclusion, the incident raises important questions about where to draw the line between guidance and control. While the father’s intentions were rooted in protecting his family’s image, the incident also highlights the evolving nature of personal boundaries in adult relationships.

What works for one family may not for another. We invite you to share your thoughts and experiences: What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? How do you balance respect and autonomy in family decisions? Your insights are invaluable in this ongoing conversation.