AITAH for not wanting another child with my wife?

Imagine this: you’re juggling life with two energetic kids—one who needs extra care and another who’s a whirlwind of personality—while crammed into your in-laws’ house in one of the priciest states around. The bank account’s stretched thin, your family’s 1,600 miles away, and now your wife drops the bombshell: “Let’s have another baby.” Your heart sinks faster than a lead balloon. That’s the rollercoaster a 34-year-old dad finds himself riding, and oh boy, does it feel like the brakes are shot.

This guy’s story isn’t just about diapers and sleepless nights—it’s a tug-of-war between love, limits, and longing for a say in his own life. With an autistic 8-year-old son and a feisty 4-year-old daughter already filling his plate, he’s waving the white flag on more kids. But his wife? She’s got baby fever, and he’s feeling the heat. Let’s dive into his tale and see what’s really at stake.

‘AITAH for not wanting another child with my wife?’

Deciding on more kids isn’t just a flip of a coin—it’s a seismic shift in a family’s universe. For this dad, it’s like being asked to climb Everest after barely summiting the backyard hill. He’s got valid reasons: financial strain, emotional bandwidth, and a son whose future needs careful planning. Meanwhile, his wife’s pushing for a third, anchored by her refusal to leave her mom’s side. It’s a classic standoff—his boundaries versus her dreams.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, once said, “In a good marriage, both partners feel they have influence over decisions.” (Source: The Gottman Institute). Here, the scales seem tipped. The dad’s caved before—hello, daughter!—but resentment lingered. Experts say that’s a red flag: forcing a “yes” on kids can breed bitterness, not bonding. His sacrifices—living far from his family, funding a packed household—aren’t mirrored by his wife’s willingness to budge.

Zoom out, and this isn’t just their fight. The U.S. Census Bureau notes 1 in 6 couples grapple with differing views on family size (Source). Add financial stress—median home prices in pricey states like California hit $800k—and the plot thickens. For him, saying “no” isn’t just exhaustion; it’s survival. A vasectomy, as Reddit cheers, might be his line in the sand. But Gottman’s wisdom suggests a deeper fix: mutual compromise. Could they meet halfway—say, a visit to his family instead of a new nursery?

Therapy could help them untangle this knot, or at least talk without steamrolling each other. He might also weigh solo trips to see his folks, reclaiming some control. It’s not about winning—it’s about both feeling heard.

See what others had to share with OP:

Here’s the scoop from the Reddit peanut gallery—unfiltered and spicy as ever.

These hot takes lean hard into “snip it and ship it,” with a side of “is this marriage even working?” They’re blunt, but do they nail reality? Maybe not everyone’s ready to call it quits—or clip it—over a baby debate.

So, where does this leave our weary dad? Caught between a rock (his wife’s wishes) and a hard place (his own limits), he’s got choices to mull—vasectomy, therapy, or a heart-to-heart that actually moves the needle. It’s a messy, human story, and that’s what makes it hit home. What would you do if you were juggling his load—stand firm, bend, or bolt? Drop your thoughts below; let’s keep this convo rolling!