AITA for telling my BIL I wouldn’t invite his kids over anytime soon?

Hosting a dinner party for family can be a joyful way to reconnect—but sometimes, unexpected behavior turns a warm gathering into a scene of chaos. In this story, a newly settled couple decided to celebrate their move to a new home by inviting both sides of their families for a dinner party.

They hoped for a pleasant evening filled with catching up and shared memories. However, the night quickly took a turn when the children of the brother-in-law (BIL) made a complete mess of the celebration, leaving behind more than just spilled drinks and broken glass.

The children’s wild antics—including rearranging pillows, causing spills on a cherished Persian carpet, and even literally “exploding” an orange on the rug—left the hosts both shocked and frustrated. In a rare moment of candid honesty, one of the hosts bluntly stated that they wouldn’t be inviting the kids over anytime soon. This remark, though delivered with a mix of humor and exasperation, has since sparked debate among family members and online communities alike.

‘AITA for telling my BIL I wouldn’t invite his kids over anytime soon?’

Family dynamics can often be tested by the unpredictability of children’s behavior, but boundaries are essential for maintaining respect in shared spaces. Dr. Melissa Hartman, a family therapist, explains, “It’s perfectly reasonable for hosts to set limits on behavior in their own home. When children repeatedly disrupt an environment without adult intervention, it not only damages property but also the overall atmosphere of a gathering.”

Dr. Hartman stresses that while children do need room to express themselves, parents are responsible for ensuring their behavior doesn’t infringe on others’ rights. In this case, the lack of proper supervision and intervention from the BIL and his wife contributed significantly to the disruption.

Establishing boundaries—not only for the children but also for the visiting families—is vital in preventing such conflicts from escalating. Dr. Hartman advises that if one party consistently experiences neglect of these boundaries, it is healthy and justified to reconsider future invitations to protect one’s well-being and property.

Furthermore, this situation highlights an important lesson about respect in family gatherings. The hosts’ reaction, though blunt, was a necessary assertion of their right to a peaceful home environment. As Dr. Hartman puts it, “When guests overstep the line, it’s important to communicate boundaries clearly.

This can prevent misunderstandings and preserve relationships in the long run.” By addressing the issue head-on, the hosts are taking a stand for responsible behavior—a move that many experts believe is essential in any successful family dynamic.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Across Reddit, the consensus was overwhelmingly supportive of the host’s stance. One commenter remarked, “These kids are a little cute tsunami, but I get it—sometimes you need your peace and quiet.” Another user pointed out that if the children are allowed to wreak havoc without any correction, it speaks volumes about the neglectful parenting on the other side.

Many Redditors emphasized that it’s not about disliking kids, but about respecting a host’s right to a calm, orderly environment. The general sentiment was that setting such boundaries is not only reasonable but necessary, especially when property and personal comfort are at stake.

This incident serves as a vivid reminder that hosting a family gathering isn’t just about sharing good times—it’s also about ensuring a respectful environment for everyone involved. While children naturally have boundless energy, it’s equally important for parents to guide their behavior and for hosts to protect their space. When the balance tips too far and cherished property becomes collateral damage, setting clear limits is not only justified but essential for maintaining peace of mind.

What do you think? Have you ever had to set tough boundaries at a family gathering? How do you handle situations where respect for your home is compromised? Share your experiences and join the discussion—your insights could help others facing similar challenges.