AITA for telling my gf that she should go back to work if she doesn’t want to take care of our baby?
Imagine juggling a newborn, a full-time job, and a fiancée who’d rather snooze than step up—all from your home office. One Redditor (28M) is living this chaos: after five months of daddy duty, he’s back at work, but his stay-at-home fiancée (24F) still expects him to cook, clean, and cuddle the baby like it’s his second shift. His fix? “Go back to work if you can’t handle it.” Now she’s crying to Mom, and he’s wondering if he’s the jerk. Was this a fair clapback or a parenting punt? Let’s burp this one out.
Our guy’s been a champ—five months of paid leave, night feeds ‘til 3 a.m., and whipping up dinners while his fiancée catches Zs. She’s on an 18-month baby break, but post-leave, she’s dumping the kid on him mid-meeting and dodging chores like they’re diaper duty. He’s footing the bills solo, yet she’s griping he’s not helping enough. His “work or parent” ultimatum sparked a tantrum—and a fib-fest to her mom. Is this a teamwork fail or a one-man show? Get the messy details below!
‘AITA for telling my gf that she should go back to work if she doesn’t want to take care of our baby?’
This daddy dilemma’s a doozy—dive in!
Raising a 5-month-old’s no picnic, but this Redditor’s been pulling double duty—breadwinner and baby-whisperer—while his fiancée clocks out at 9 p.m. He’s not wrong to expect a shift: she’s home for the baby, not a nap marathon. Her “8 hours is too much” whine? Tough to swallow when he’s juggling Zoom and a fussy tot. That “go back to work” line, though? It’s a hot potato—let’s mash it up.
He’s got a case. Pre-work, he was Supermom—night shifts, baths, meals—giving her postpartum grace. Now, WFH doesn’t mean “watch for hire”—a 2023 SHRM study says 62% of remote workers report productivity dips with childcare overlap. She signed up to stay home, not hand off. Her chore aversion predates the kid—canned cleaning lady, anyone?—so this isn’t new-mom fog; it’s pattern laziness. Running to Mommy with half-truths? That’s a tantrum, not a plea.
But ouch, the delivery—telling a fiancée to ditch her gig risks resentment, especially sans daycare prep. Postpartum’s real—CDC data shows 1 in 8 moms face it, and sleep-love could hint at more. Still, no PPD flags here; she’s just comfy leaning on him. Couples therapist Dr. Sue Johnson says, “Partnership thrives on renegotiation—resentment festers in silence” (source). He’s NTA for wanting balance, but a “let’s split this fair” chat might’ve dodged the blowup.
Was he too blunt? Nah, but close. She’s gotta step up—daycare’s a legit out if she won’t. He’s not her maid; he’s her man. Readers, your coo: is this a dad’s due or a harsh hush?
Check out how the community responded:
Reddit’s rocking takes spicier than a teething tantrum—sip them!
Are these cries on point or just noisy naps?
From a baby-bonding champ to a WFH warrior, this Redditor drew a line when his fiancée slacked—sparking a “work or watch” showdown. Was he fair to push back on her baby-dumping, or did he bottle up the teamwork talk too long? How’d you split the load with a stay-at-home slack-off? Cradle your thoughts below—we’re all ears!
