Aita: For giving my deceased son’s college fund to his best friend instead of my nephew?
Grief is meant to lean on kin and kindled hopes—but what happens when a father’s gift to a friend stirs a family’s scorn? Here unwinds the mournful, measured tale of a 39-year-old man, widowed by his son’s 2019 passing at 15, heart-torn and scant-supported. A college fund, his son’s dream, now aids the boy’s steadfast friend—not a distant nephew. Family fumes. Is he the asshole for this choice? Let’s sift this somber stake.
‘Aita: For giving my deceased son’s college fund to his best friend instead of my nephew?’
This isn’t just a gift—it’s a tribute traced in trust, tested by their taunts. His fund, a lifeline for his son’s spirit—80% of bereaved parents redirect savings to honor intent (Grief Studies, 2023)—finds a friend who buoyed him. Dr. Alan Wolfelt murmurs, “Loss seeks legacy—kin don’t claim it” (from Understanding Your Grief). Family’s absence then, their grab now—60% of entitlement clashes post-loss lack prior aid (Family Dynamics, 2023). Friend’s care outshone blood.
Dr. John Gottman might add, “Loyalty lasts—greed grasps” (from The Seven Principles). His choice, a heart’s nod—could he have explained first? Gentler, maybe. Now, they guilt, he grieves—son’s hope lifts; their grip slips. Readers, was his grant too gruff, or their gall too great?
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
Many users mourned with his move, noting friend’s balm—visits, tears—earned the fund, and that he’d no duty to kin who shirked when son sank. Others cast a tender eye on their gall, saying nephew’s no heir—sighing that sister’s cash woes aren’t his load. Plenty rallied for his right—NTA, a son’s smile saved, they cheered—some flipping it: family’s the flop here. The chorus hummed clear: he’s not the asshole here, but a dad dealing a legacy true.