AITA for not letting my coworker/friend move in with me now that she’s having a baby?

Imagine opening your cozy home to a new roommate, only to discover they’re hiding a life-changing secret—like an impending baby. For one homeowner, renting out a spare room turned into a moral tug-of-war when their coworker Sophie, newly pregnant, failed to disclose her condition. What seemed like a simple agreement unraveled into workplace whispers and a tearful baby shower meltdown, leaving the homeowner caught between guilt and their right to a peaceful home.

This tale unfolds in a quaint neighborhood where trust and boundaries collide. Sophie’s omission stings, but her distress tugs at heartstrings, making the homeowner question their choice to prioritize a trusted friend over her. Readers are drawn into this messy drama, wondering: is it fair to protect your space, even if it leaves someone vulnerable in the cold?

‘AITA for not letting my coworker/friend move in with me now that she’s having a baby?’

So I’ve got this nice little house in a pretty little neighborhood. I rent out one of the bedrooms. My roommate was moving in a couple months, so I started getting word out there that I was looking for a new roommate. My friend, Sophie, from work was interested right away after she came to see the house and said she was in.

A few days later I had a close friend, Georgia, message me about the room asking if it was still available. I said unfortunately it wasn’t. Even though I really would rather live with her I thought it wasn’t fair to bail on Sophie. Anyway weeks go by and my one roommate is getting ready to move out.

Over the weekend I get an email from a different coworker that they were going to have a small surprise baby shower for Sophie next week. I’ll admit that email made me very angry because I felt like she was keeping something very important from me.

So I immediately called up Georgia and asked if she still was interested in moving in. She was and I said it was hers. On Monday I told Sophie that I wouldn’t be able to rent the room to her anymore. Didn’t mention anything about the baby.

She seemed upset and asked why and I just told her I had a friend that really needed the room and left it at that.. I decided to stay and continue working through lunch and avoid break room and the party. Some people start slowly coming back to their desks very quietly.

Discovering your would-be roommate is pregnant via a baby shower email? That’s a plot twist worthy of a soap opera. The homeowner’s decision to back out after Sophie’s secrecy is understandable—living with a newborn is a major lifestyle shift, especially for someone not ready for sleepless nights or baby-proofing. Sophie’s omission suggests she hoped to slide by unnoticed, but her distress at work shows the stakes of her situation, creating a tricky balance of empathy and self-preservation.

Shared living requires transparency, as 70% of roommate conflicts stem from mismatched expectations, per a 2022 Apartment Guide survey. Dr. Irene Levine, a psychologist quoted in Psychology Today, notes, “Clear communication is the bedrock of cohabitation; withholding key details erodes trust.” The homeowner could have been upfront about their discomfort with a baby, fostering a more honest dialogue.

Moving forward, the homeowner might offer Sophie resources, like local housing support, to ease guilt while maintaining boundaries. For readers, this highlights the importance of setting clear terms in shared spaces—honesty upfront prevents drama later. A lease agreement, as Reddit suggested, could protect against future surprises.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit gang swooped in like nosy neighbors, serving up a mix of support, snark, and practical tips for this homeowner’s roommate saga. It’s like a block party where everyone’s got a spicy opinion on Sophie’s secrecy. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

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andicandi22 − NTA having a baby is an important thing to disclose when you’re about to share a living space with someone. What exactly was her plan once she started to show? Where did she expect the baby to sleep?

Did she think about how it would affect your life and schedule? These are all important things to consider when having a child and moving in with someone. Not telling you was sketchy on her part.

Tawny_Harpy − NTA. You don’t owe Sophie anything because she’s pregnant. As somebody who never wants kids and is stuck living with two of them, I completely get not wanting to have kids in the house.. Not to mention you’d be stuck paying for any damages the kid caused.

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[Reddit User] − Are you ready to be a coparent?? NTA, this is big life change and she kept it from you to begin with... Required disclosure, period.

CheyBridgeMan − NTA!!!!! I had a similar situation once. Owned my own home but was going to rent a room. Interviewed a lady, took her deposit, and move in date was set. I was very specific in my questions regarding kids because that was a no go for me. She shows up to move in with two kids in tow.

I handed her deposit back and said no way. She was all “but you’re making me and my kids homeless at Christmas!” I felt horrible to be honest but renting a room to a single adult (the plan) is not the same as an adult with kids! And a baby like in your situation? Hell no! Just hell no.. She can have all the meltdown she wants. Not your problem.

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shakeywasher − Esh. Not because of not renting the room to Sophie. but youve handled it all wrong. You should have been honest. 'Sophie I didn't know you were pregnant you've kept that from me. I am disappointed you've not been honest with me and I'm not at a point I can live or want to live with a baby. I'm not in a position to baby proof my home'

and I presume the way you are talking there are other Tennant's 'the other guys get a say in this too' The way you've done it looks like you've just bailed on Sophie and ditched her for another friend when it's Sophie who should have told you. Edit: you really need to think about leases and terms for the future to cover you from all this

Jessika222 − NTA. She was definitely hoping you would overlook that ‘small’ detail, that sucks for her that she doesn’t have anyone or anywhere to go, but it makes you wonder why doesn’t this pregnant girl have anyone or anywhere to go? Why? What has she done?

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Obviously there’s some dramatic back story that I wouldn’t want to be a part of either- and why can’t her friends from work help her out then if they’re so worried? Red flags all over the place- you are right to want to keep your peace and your house orderly and that’s all that matters.

bbbertie-wooster − All of Sophie's dear friends who want her to stay with your should let her move in with them.. NTA

[Reddit User] − NTA. Sophie should have told you. If she had been honest she would have had more time to find a place.

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SandersOrNothing − NTA. Who the hell wants a damn baby at their place? She also tried to hide it from you. She's a damn liar.

ilco88 − NTA you agreed on Sophia moving in not Sophia and baby. Can't believe she didn't tell you, wat was she thinking hello I'm moving in oh btw this my baby ...

These Redditors backed the homeowner’s choice but called out their sidestepping approach. Do their takes hit the mark, or are they just fanning the gossip flames?

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This roommate drama shows how secrets can turn a simple rental into a trust-shattering mess. The homeowner’s choice to prioritize their comfort over Sophie’s needs wasn’t heartless, but their quiet pivot left her reeling. It’s a reminder that honesty in shared living is non-negotiable, even when it’s tough. Have you ever faced a roommate surprise that flipped your plans? How did you handle it? Share your stories below!

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