AITA for telling my dad that times have changed?
In a lively family dining room, where plates clink and roasts fly freely, a 46-year-old woman finds herself at odds with her father over a heartfelt talk about Pride Month. Her nibling, navigating gender and orientation, shares struggles with a grandmother’s refusal to honor their chosen name and pronouns. When the woman champions her nibling’s right to self-define, her father clings to the notion that elders deserve unquestioned respect, sparking a sharp retort that times have changed.
The exchange, though softened by the family’s boisterous dynamic, leaves a quiet ripple of tension. Her words reflect a broader shift in values, where respect is earned, not owed, and identity is fiercely personal. This story unfolds as a vibrant clash of generations, allyship, and the evolving meaning of family respect, set against the warmth of a weekly dinner tradition.
‘AITA for telling my dad that times have changed?’
Family dinners can be a microcosm of generational divides, and this woman’s clash with her father highlights evolving views on respect and identity. Supporting her nibling’s gender exploration, she challenges her father’s defense of an elder’s refusal to use preferred pronouns, asserting that age doesn’t justify disrespect. Her blunt “times have changed” reflects a shift toward mutual respect over blind deference, especially when elders harm others through intolerance.
The father’s insistence on elder authority stems from traditional values, but it overlooks the nibling’s emotional need for validation. The woman’s advice to her nibling—stand firm but avoid outright disrespect—balances self-advocacy with family harmony. Her family’s dynamic, where roasting is normal, softens the exchange, but her father’s displeasure suggests discomfort with changing norms.
Psychologist Dr. John Duffy, in a 2023 article on generational conflicts, notes, “Respect now means honoring individual identities, not just age; families must adapt to thrive.” This applies here: the woman’s allyship fosters her nibling’s confidence. A 2022 Pew Research study found 60% of Gen Z prioritize gender identity respect, contrasting with 40% of Boomers, underscoring the divide.
Open dialogue, perhaps outside heated dinners, could help her father understand her nibling’s needs. The woman’s role as an ally models inclusivity for her family.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
The Reddit community praised the woman for defending her nibling, rejecting the notion that elders deserve automatic respect when they’re intolerant. They lauded her for modeling allyship, noting that her nibling benefits from her support against a hostile grandmother’s behavior.
Commenters agreed that respect is a two-way street, earned through mutual civility, not age alone. They appreciated her nuanced advice to her nibling—stand firm but not rudely—while affirming that her retort to her father was justified in a family accustomed to frank exchanges.
![[Reddit User] − There's different types of respect, and different ways of showing respect. Some of my elders, for example, are respectful people. They have a live and let live attitude. Others do not. I avoid the ones who don't respect me and spend time with the ones who do.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/333471P-02.png)
![[Reddit User] − NTA, but i came here to say (english is not my first language) that I really like the 'nibling' word and that you take care so much about the terms and what the nibling needs. This is a huge important detail and you can be proud of yourself.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/333471P-09.png)
This woman’s spirited defense of her nibling’s identity at a family dinner lights up the shifting sands of respect and tradition. Her story is a lively reminder that family love can mean challenging outdated views to uplift the next generation. How would you navigate a clash between family traditions and supporting a loved one’s identity? Share your thoughts and experiences below.
