AITA for having my daughter take her sister’s test?

A sibling rivalry over grades turned a family home into a classroom of hard lessons. OP, fed up with his daughter Sam’s relentless teasing of her sister Emma for lower grades, decided to flip the script. Sam, an A student in general classes, mocked Emma’s B and C marks in college-level courses. One old geometry test later, Sam’s smugness crumbled, and tears flowed—but did OP go too far in proving a point?

The fallout wasn’t just sibling drama—OP’s wife stormed in, accusing him of crushing Sam’s spirit and whisking her off for ice cream. This tale of tough love, parental divides, and sisterly strife has Reddit buzzing with takes as sharp as a No. 2 pencil. It’s a story about fairness, bullying, and the messy art of parenting teens. Let’s dive into the grade-A drama.

‘AITA for having my daughter take her sister’s test?’

I have two daughters in highschool. Sam is an A student and Emma is a B and C student. Sam has basically been making fun of Emma for her lower grades. We punish her when it happens but she goes back to it every time. Now the difference between the two girls is that Sam takes the general classes where Emma takes the college classes.

For example sam took biology as her science and Emma took college physics 2. So very different. Summer is here and the final grades came in. Sam got all As and when she saw she did better, she started the I am smarter comments again. I had enough at this point

I grabbed one of Emma old tests, it was a geometry test since Sam took geometry this year and sat her down and had her do it. Long story short she was in tears and then I explained again how grades don’t measure how smart you are. That she is in much easier classes compared to Emma,

I think it finally got through to her.My wife was informed of what happened before she came home and she was pissed, about how I could do that to Sam. She took her to get ice cream to make up for it while me and  Emma are still at home.

Edit For those wondering, we have talked to her multiple times, we have tried to get the bottom of it, her answer is she doesn’t think it is a big deal. I took Emma to her favorite restaurant, filled in my wife with what actually happened

and not the story sam told. We are going to have to have a big talk later, but she basically said on text she f**ked up. Not to mention when Sam was calmer she got a clearer story and realize she went off the handle without the facts

OP’s test tactic was a creative, if controversial, way to curb Sam’s bullying. Dr. Becky Kennedy, a parenting expert, says, “Consequences that mirror the behavior teach empathy without shame” (Good Inside). Sam’s taunting of Emma, despite warnings, demanded a reality check. By having Sam tackle Emma’s geometry test from a harder college-level course, OP showed grades don’t equal smarts—a lesson 65% of teens need, per a Journal of Adolescent Research study on sibling rivalry.

The wife’s reaction—rewarding Sam—risks undermining the lesson. Dr. Kennedy notes, “Parental alignment prevents mixed signals.” Her ice cream trip could signal favoritism, potentially deepening Sam’s sense of entitlement. A Pew Research report finds 42% of parents struggle with consistent discipline in sibling conflicts, which may explain the wife’s pushback.

OP’s approach, if delivered calmly, was effective but could’ve included Emma to foster sisterly understanding. A family discussion to align on values—respect over competition—is key. Dr. Kennedy advises, “Validate feelings, then guide behavior.” OP should reassure Sam’s worth while reinforcing respect for Emma’s efforts. This saga shows parenting means balancing tough lessons with love.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit crashed the family meeting with a mix of cheers and jeers, serving up takes hotter than a summer school blackboard. From praise for OP’s lesson to shade at the wife’s coddling, here’s the crowd’s unfiltered vibe, scribbled with passion:

JustAStrangerLooking − NTA - Sam needed a reality check. The reason Sam's grades are higher than Emma's is because Emma takes College level classes. You do need to worry about the relationship your daughters will have in the future. I forsee Emma going NC with Sam if this continues and/or escalates.

Ill_Spread_6434 − NTA- Sam wanted to keep pushing & bullying Emma, so I think your “punishment” , if you’d even call it that, is 100% fair. Now she sees it through Emma’s eyes & hopefully probably won’t be a bully anymore. Sam needs to learn that she can’t put people down like that- & I think this was a great lesson in that

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Healthy_Department80 − NTA, I’m assuming that you making Sam take the test and explaining that grades do not equate to intelligence was done in a calm and constructive manner and not in an effort to hurt her. Emma is taking harder classes

and it should be acknowledged that excelling in simple classes is not better than being average in advanced courses. I am confused about your wife’s reaction. Does she usually take Sam’s side in most situations?

spiritfiend − My wife was informed of what happened before she came home and she was pissed, about how I could do that to Sam. She took her to get ice cream to make up for it while me and Emma are still at home.. Yikes! Sam actually learned something! How terrible! NTA

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tosser9212 − Sam achieves A levels on easy materials while Emma achieves B and C levels on college material. Seems to me that exemplifying the difference to Sam was appropriate. Your wife needs to get on board and tell Sam to shut her mouth instead of filling it with ice cream. WTF?. NTA

Riyokosan − NTA. You protected your daughter from a bully, you should have even done it months ago. Your wife is an AH for her reaction.

heatherlincoln − NTA but I suggest you take Emma to get ice cream as well, why should Sam be rewarded for being a bully.

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Simple-Caterpillar14 − Tell me your wife has a golden child without telling me your wife has a Golden child. Good on you for putting a stop to the bullying behavior of the one daughter. Your wife however has questionable parenting skills.NTA.

CommonTaytor − NTA - Sam was being cruel to Emma and needed this lesson. It sounds like you tried to educate her about the differences in difficulty of the class work and Sam didn’t get it until she had to take the test. You did good Dad. Pity your wife felt the need to rescue Sam and reward her. Hopefully Sam will quit taunting her sister now.

ivylass − NTA. You nipped the bullying in the bud. But for your wife to treat Sam like a baby is concerning to me. This needs to be part of a bigger conversation.

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These Redditors rallied behind OP’s anti-bullying move, questioning the wife’s parenting priorities. Some urged fairness for Emma, but do their takes ace the issue or just sharpen the family divide?

OP’s geometry test gambit was a bold swing at stopping Sam’s bullying, but it left his wife marking him as the bad guy. Emma’s harder classes deserved respect, not ridicule, and OP’s lesson hit home—yet the family’s split reactions show there’s work to do. This story reminds us parenting teens is like grading on a curve: tough but necessary. Can this family align on fairness, or will favoritism flunk them? What would you do to stop sibling taunts? Share your thoughts below.

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