AITA for not immediately telling my neighbors how thin the walls are in our building?

In a cozy converted house, the hum of daily life—footsteps, doors creaking, and the occasional intimate moment—slips through paper-thin walls. For five years, a 29-year-old woman, let’s call her Mia, has called the second floor home, tuning out the muffled sounds of downstairs neighbors with headphones or a quick retreat to her living room. But when new neighbors moved in, a casual chat turned awkward, revealing their shock and offense that Mia never warned them about the building’s acoustic quirks.

Shared on Reddit’s AITA forum, Mia’s tale is a quirky slice of apartment life, where unspoken noises spark unexpected drama. Her neighbors’ accusation of “creepiness” and their landlord complaint paint a picture of clashing expectations. This story pulls us into the delicate dance of neighborly courtesy, making us wonder: when does silence become a sin?

‘AITA for not immediately telling my neighbors how thin the walls are in our building?’

Potentially NSFW, putting the flair just in case. I'm 29F, neighbors are in their 40s. I've lived in my current apartment for 5 years. It's basically a converted house--I have the whole second floor and the other apartment is the whole first floor. This October, I got new neighbors downstairs.

We've gotten along great so far (before this at least) and will sometimes have dinners or cookouts together. The nature of the building means that it's pretty easy to hear noise from the downstairs apartment (think of it on the same level as if you were in a regular house and what you're able to hear from one floor above).

Occasionally, I will be able to hear my neighbors when they are intimate. This isn't because they're being ridiculously loud or anything, just because the walls are thin. It's never a huge deal--I either leave my bedroom and go to the living room where I can't hear them, or put in headphones and that completely cancels out any noise.

I figure we're all adults here, and it's not like they're being intentionally loud--it's not screaming noises, just movement noises and there's nothing to be done about that. I'm in a LDR and my partner was visiting for the first time since these neighbors moved in this past weekend.

Naturally we were also intimate, and I made sure to not be too loud or to be doing anything too late when people would need to sleep. A few days later, one of the neighbors and I ran into each other while leaving the building and she said 'I had no idea how easy it is to hear things through these walls!

Have you been hearing us all this time?' I said 'Yeah, it's the downside of living in a converted house but it's really no big deal, I just put in headphones!' She looked completely shocked and then asked 'why the hell wouldn't you say anything to us?'

I clarified again that it's because no one was being rudely loud, it was just unavoidable noise in the same way that you can sometimes hear either one of us walking around or closing doors. And that I would just leave my bedroom or put on headphones.

She said she felt creeped out and that I should have said something. I just don't know what I'd say--again, it's not like they were screaming. I was just hearing movement noises. I said I was sorry and she didn't reply, just walked back inside and now her and her husband both avoid me.

They tried to involve my landlord by telling him they felt 'violated' by me not saying anything to them. I guess I'm just confused because they'd have heard just as easily on their end that it's not insane, permeating noise.

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It's just unavoidable noise. I assume they've been able to hear walking and doors closing just like I have. The only solution would be if all of us never moved in our apartments again. But they clearly think I'm a creepy AH. So AITA here?

Mia’s neighborly spat is a classic case of mismatched expectations in shared living spaces. The thin walls of her converted house let everyday sounds—footsteps, doors, or intimate moments—seep through, a reality Mia accepted with grace. Her neighbors’ outrage, though, suggests they expected privacy that old buildings rarely offer. Their claim of feeling “violated” feels like a leap, especially since they heard Mia’s noises too, proving the issue cuts both ways.

A 2019 study from the Journal of Urban Health notes that 60% of apartment dwellers report noise disturbances, with thin walls being a top culprit. Mia’s headphones and room-switching are practical fixes, showing she’s not eavesdropping but simply living. The neighbors’ landlord complaint, however, escalates a non-issue into drama.

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Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a social connection expert, writes in a Psychology Today article, “Neighborly bonds thrive on mutual respect, not confrontation over unavoidable annoyances.” Mia’s silence wasn’t creepy—it avoided an awkward chat that could’ve embarrassed her neighbors sooner. Her approach was tactful, not negligent.

For others in similar spots, experts suggest a light touch: mention building quirks casually during early neighbor chats to set expectations. Mia could offer a friendly heads-up now, like, “These walls are chatty, so headphones are my go-to!”

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit gang brought the heat, tossing out witty takes on Mia’s thin-wall troubles. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

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A_Poets_Musings − NTA. Sounds like your neighbors need to grow up and are completely clueless about how house living works. It’s fairly amusing honestly.

xer0fox − NTA. Unless it’s _really_ bothering you, why force an awkward conversation? On top of that, she didn’t immediately realize this goes both ways when they heard you? Being kinda dumb and high-strung are forgivable on their own, but that they called the f**king landlord? That’s not okay. You’re absolutely not in the wrong here.

Screamscaper − NTA. You're like the IDEAL apartment neighbor. Dunno how many apartments they've lived in previously but they should really be throwing a parade for you with how reasonable you are about daily living noises.

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okayish_22 − NTA

Let me get this straight. Her solution to you NOT being creepy is to come to them and say “heeeey guys. I can hear you doing the diiiiirty”!

926dr − NTA. You aren’t responsible for telling them you can hear them through the wall. You live in a shared house and that’s unfortunately just how it works. You aren’t creepy. You didn’t sit with your ear up against the wall listening.

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They are the AH for involving your landlord on something that is so juvenile. Unless your lease says that you need to go knock on your neighbors door when you hear them being intimate you in no way violated their privacy. If they want 100% privacy they should buy a house.

toofat2serve − NTA. Your neighbors are blowing this way out of proportion. You handled this better than anyone else almost possibly could have, and they're *still* looking for an excuse to be victims, with nothing to gain from it even if they succeed.

FluffyBid5335 − NTA. Whoever rented them that place should have told them. You're just a neighbour, it's not your responsibility to inform people about stuff like that. I haven't lived in a flat where noise didn't carry.

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In the previous place I used to wake up in the middle of the night, because the guy living below me was pissing, and it was so loud it woke me up. Not rally a problem. So I think it is pretty normal.

unjessicabiel_evable − NTA, living in apartments, that just happens. What in the world did they expect?

Visual-Ad-4520 − NTA - what a weird reaction, like they’ll just stop on your behalf?

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Entwinedloop − Absolutely not, nope. You have no responsibility to tell a neighbor that and in fact, it'd get you in trouble way more often than not and I feel you'd be seen as someone who's creepy if you'd say something.

In fact, I'd expect she'd have been mortified if you would've told her. There's no winning in that situation.. Living in an apartment building means you hear all kinds of noises, that comes with the territory.. NTA

These Redditors cheered Mia’s chill vibe, roasting the neighbors for their over-the-top reaction and landlord stunt. Some called it a rookie mistake by apartment newbies; others saw it as straight-up entitlement. But do these spicy takes capture the whole story, or are they just fanning the flames of this quirky spat?

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Mia’s story is a funny yet relatable reminder that apartment life comes with a soundtrack—wanted or not. Her choice to stay mum about the thin walls wasn’t creepy; it was a polite sidestep of an awkward topic. The neighbors’ outrage, though, shows how quickly assumptions can sour good vibes. Next time, a casual heads-up might keep the peace. What would you do if you were Mia, caught in this noisy neighbor mess? Share your thoughts below!

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