AITA for ordering a vegan burger for my boyfriend?

Gregory Houston Hours
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In a bustling burger joint, the air thick with the sizzle of patties and the hum of chatter, a vegan woman faced a small but spicy dilemma. Her boyfriend, a staunch meat-lover, handed her the reins to order his meal while he scrolled through his phone, distracted. What she chose sparked a fiery debate that spilled from their date night to Reddit’s virtual campfire. Was her sneaky swap of a beef burger for a vegan one a playful test or a breach of trust?

This tale of burgers and bruised egos taps into the universal tension of clashing values in relationships. With her boyfriend mocking her vegan choices and her curiosity about a meat-like Beyond Burger, the stage was set for a moment that left them both chewing on more than just dinner. Let’s dive into this juicy story and see where the fault lines lie.

‘AITA for ordering a vegan burger for my boyfriend?’

I really don’t think I’m the a**hole here, but his friends are saying I am so I wanted to get some opinions. I’ve been a vegan for the past 2 years, whereas my boyfriend is adamant that he would never give up meat. He always complains about how vegan food doesn’t taste as good, isn’t filling etc, and he’s normally not willing to try new things.

Anyway, last night we were on a date at a burger chain. The chain lets you order with an app. He was busy on his phone and told me to order for him, and he wanted a beef burger. I asked which one and he said “I’m busy, you choose.” I noticed that the restaurant sold the Beyond Burger if you don’t know, it’s a kind of “fake meat” burger which is designed to be realistic.

I’ve heard it’s actually really similar to meat, so I order him one mostly out of interest to see if he’d notice. I got myself a bean burger, so he wouldn’t notice we had the same meal and get suspicious. The meal arrives and he really loves it! I kept subtly asking him how it was and he said it was great!

He even boasted about it being tastier than my “lame” veggie burger. After we’d paid up, I told him the truth and he was pissed, saying I tricked him and violated his trust etc. But he loved the burger?? I think he’s just feeling sensitive about being proven wrong, but he asked his friends and they’re saying I’m trying to control his diet and stuff. So AITA?

UPDATE:. Wow, this blew up! Firstly, I wanted to address a couple of comments: 1. He doesn't have any allergies - obviously I wouldn't have ordered the burger if there was a chance it might cause him harm.

2. This isn't part of some grand scheme to turn him vegan. I respect his right to eat meat, and I don't bother him about this. In fact, he's generally the only one to bring up my veganism (usually in the context of making fun of my food, which can get pretty exhausting).

Anyway, after reading lots of the comments I apologised for giving him vegan food without asking for permission. He said I should apologise for making him look like an i**ot by letting him brag about the 'beef' burger when I knew it was fake.

I said I was sorry about that, but also mentioned that he doesn't make me feel great when he makes fun of my food all the time. He's seen the message but he hasn't replied, I'm honestly kind of pissed off but I'll wait and see what he says..

Relationships thrive on trust, but what happens when a playful choice stirs the pot? The vegan-versus-carnivore clash in this story highlights a broader issue: how dietary differences can test compatibility. The woman’s decision to order a Beyond Burger wasn’t malicious, but it sidestepped her boyfriend’s consent. Meanwhile, his relentless jabs at her veganism set the stage for her experiment. Both sides stumbled, revealing a lack of mutual respect.

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This scenario reflects a growing trend. A 2023 study by YouGov found that 7% of Americans identify as vegan or vegetarian, often sparking tension in mixed-diet relationships. Respecting dietary choices is key to harmony. As relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “Small moments of understanding build trust over time”. Here, the woman’s secrecy and the boyfriend’s mockery missed that mark.

The woman’s choice to “test” her boyfriend hints at a desire to bridge their divide, but it backfired by undermining trust. His reaction—anger over a burger he enjoyed—suggests pride took precedence over perspective. Both could learn from this. Open communication, like discussing dietary boundaries upfront, could prevent such flare-ups.

For solutions, couples in similar situations can set clear expectations. The woman might invite her boyfriend to try vegan dishes willingly, while he could dial back the teasing. Compromise, like sharing meals that respect both preferences, fosters connection. As Gottman advises, turning toward each other’s needs builds stronger bonds.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s hive mind didn’t hold back, serving up a platter of spicy takes on this burger debacle. Here’s a glimpse at what the community had to say, with opinions as varied as a diner menu.

fourbearants − YTA, you set him up deliberately to try and 'prove him wrong' about whatever. Do you know how s**tty that feels? This is nothing to do with being vegan and everything to do with being a self- righteous ass.

LilithBeanith − This going to be unpopular, but I am gonna say switching out a meat product for non-meat when a person doesn't have dietary restrictions is different than switching non-meat for meat for a vegan. They are both deceitful, but one is just straight up cruel. I think that everyone is over-reacting, including everyone straight bashing you on this thread. I think you yta, but don't cry about it. I would apologize to your bf and just ask him next time.

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boogsiemalone − YTA. Reverse the situation and imagine he gave you meat saying it was fake/imitation meat and violated your trust and consent.

Wubbalubbadubbitydo − ESH. I don’t understand why people like this keep dating. He doesn’t just not want to be apart of your lifestyle, he actively shits on it. So there is a lack of respect there. And obviously you aren’t going to just start eating meat again.. I mean he’s so offended by vegan food he won’t even try it.

You guys aren’t compatible but it’s not because one of you is vegan and the other isn’t. It’s because this guy has a s**t attitude and you have a level persistence needing to prove him wrong that makes me think you want him to change someday.. There’s just a very obvious lack of respect for each other’s choices.

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[Reddit User] − he was pissed, saying I tricked him and violated his trust etc. But he loved the burger??. What does loving the burger have to do with you clearly violating his trust and manipulating him?. YTA

Kellogz27 − ESH. You are an a**hole for giving him a burger you knew he didn't want. The thing a lot of people are missing though, is that his continous comments about meat being better is also being an a**hole. He's continously putting your dietary preference down without even tasting the dishes, just because it's vegan. It's childish and a ''us VS them'' mentality a lot of meat eaters seem to have.

PhssthpokthePak − NTA: I see a lot of comments about it not being morally right to trick someone about what they're putting in their body (and I do agree that in 99% of situations it's not ok) but honestly don't think those arguments apply in this particular instance. It's not like he had any actual personal/principled reasons for not eating a vegan burger. Truly just sounds that his ego got bruised for unknowingly enjoying a vegan burger

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CrushedLaCroixCan − YTA. Any situation that involves messing with people's bodies and what they put in them is shady as hell.

RandomActsOfDog − YTA. He has just as much right to choose to remain a meat eater as you do to choose to be a vegan. If you'd like him to be open minded about trying vegan food, then you discuss it with him like an adult. You don't lie to him about what he's eating and then rub it in his face that he enjoyed it.

ChicagotoKorea − Does this read like an Ad for the beyond burger to anyone else?

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These hot takes from Reddit range from calling out the woman’s sneaky move to critiquing the boyfriend’s close-minded jabs. But do they capture the full flavor of the situation, or are they just tossing salt on the wound?

This burger saga leaves us pondering trust, respect, and the little choices that spark big reactions. The woman’s vegan swap and her boyfriend’s bruised ego reveal how quickly misunderstandings can escalate. Both have room to grow—her in honesty, him in openness. What would you do if you were caught in this meaty mess? Share your thoughts below—would you side with the vegan’s experiment or call it a trust violation?

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