WIBTA for removing my late husbands children from my will?

In a quiet London home, the weight of a widow’s decision hangs heavy, like the fog that often blankets the city. After losing her husband of 20 years, a woman grapples with a choice that’s tearing her social circle apart: should she leave her entire estate to her son, or share it with her late husband’s three estranged children? The question stirs up old wounds, family tensions, and a moral dilemma that’s as thorny as a rosebush.

Her husband’s passing in 2015 left her with a house and savings, built together over decades of love and labor. But his other children, distant figures from a past relationship, were left empty-handed in his will. Now, as she faces her own mortality, her plan to pass everything to her son has sparked heated debates among friends. Is she honoring her husband’s wishes, or is this a final act of exclusion?

‘WIBTA for removing my late husbands children from my will?’

I was married to my husband for 20 years. He passed away shortly after our 20th anniversary and this was in 2015. I have one son with my husband, and my husband had 3 children from a brief relationship that didn’t last.

He was not welcome to see the children when they were growing up and eventually they took only a slight interest in my husband and his life when they were adults themselves, the relationship was to a point where they’d come every few months or so for a chat and a cup of tea but that was it.

This was upsetting for my husband who tried to do everything in his capacity to know his kids, but his first wife had effectively poisoned the children against my husband and the relationship never quite recovered. When my husband passed away I inherited his estate which included a house in London and some savings.

My husbands 3 children received nothing in his will. They were bitter about this and frequently came to my home to berate me / wheedle money from me/ threaten they would contest his will (one of them tried and it collapsed before it even got to court). I am drawing up my own will now after facing some fears of my own mortality and have decided it would be an obvious decision to leave my estate to my son.

However I’ve received strong backlash from my group of friends who say that I’m being petty, and that my wealth was grown with my husband over the years and we built it together so it should go to his other kids too.. WIBTA if I cut my husbands other children out of my will?

Deciding who inherits a family’s wealth can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded, especially when blended families are involved. This widow’s dilemma highlights the emotional and ethical complexities of estate planning. Her late husband’s choice to exclude his three children from his will, combined with their strained relationship, sets the stage for a conflict that’s as much about feelings as it is about finances.

The widow’s instinct to prioritize her son is understandable, as he represents her closest bond and shared life with her husband. However, her friends’ backlash suggests a broader expectation: that shared wealth should reflect shared lineage. According to a 2023 study by the UK’s Office for National Statistics, nearly 40% of blended families face inheritance disputes, often due to unclear intentions or unresolved family tensions (source: ons.gov.uk). This case mirrors that trend, with the stepchildren’s bitterness clashing against the widow’s sense of ownership.

Dr. Jane Adams, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Inheritance decisions often reflect unresolved emotional conflicts rather than just financial choices”. Here, the husband’s limited contact with his children, possibly due to their mother’s influence, doesn’t erase their claim to his legacy in their eyes. The widow’s decision to exclude them may feel like a continuation of their rejection, amplifying their pain.

For a balanced approach, the widow could consider a small, symbolic bequest to her stepchildren, acknowledging their connection to her husband without compromising her son’s inheritance. Consulting a legal advisor to clarify her intentions in the will, as one Redditor suggested, could also prevent future disputes. Ultimately, open communication—perhaps a mediated family discussion—might ease tensions and foster understanding, even if it doesn’t change her decision.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s armchair judges didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of support and shade that’s as spicy as a curry takeaway. Here’s what the community had to say:

HarmnMac − NTA...The wealth was built by both of you and if your late husband wanted to leave them something then he had every right. He made a full and concious decision not to leave them part of his estate. He instead left it to you and the shared child. So not the a**hole here

[Reddit User] − NTA, if he had a will that left nothing to them, he didn't want them to have his money. It is yours now to do with as you please, whether that be giving 100% to your son or sending it to charity. It's been mentioned in previous posts like this, if you redo your will make sure your lawyer puts in some legalese for 'I am purposefully omitting my 3 step children' so they do not have grounds to sue over accidental omission.

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RevvyJ − YTA. In one comment, you say 'He did indeed in one of his last coherent moments make it clear he wanted me to have control over everything, and that was about the time his will was made.' In ANOTHER comment, you say 'I say ‘think’ because he wasn’t fully awake or aware towards the time we were speaking about wills and estates.'

Your husband didn't cut his kids out of his will while fully cognizant of his actions, he did it while delirious and probably drugged up. He probably trusted that his wife would make sure that the kids he very obviously loved would get something. In your OP, you say 'They were bitter about this and frequently came to my home to berate me / wheedle money from me/ threaten they would contest his will...'.

In a comment, however, you say 'Thank you, they’ve not seen me once since my husband passed.'. Which is it? Have you seen them or haven't you? You keep twisting this story. You sound like a manipulative person with a tiny little sliver of conscience nagging at her. I see a lot of people buying it, but this s**t doesn't add up.

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You wouldn't have posted this if you didn't have that little bit of conscience. Listen to it. Do the right thing, and give your husband's kids some of the estate. I realize it's hard for you to truly love them like your son since they're not your kids, but clearly your husband did. If you truly loved and respected your husband you'll strongly consider making things right by them.

pretendduckling − A brief relationship with three children? Are these one-night stand triplets?

Whole-Pickle − How does one have a brief relationship with 3 children? In one of your comments you mention that their mother was his ex wife. That's not a brief relationship. That's a marriage which resulted in 3 children, which is a big deal.

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And if he made will the while he was weak and dying, he was likely not in a correct frame of mind. If they decide to get good a lawyer involved and contest the will again, it's highly likely that they will receive some of his estate.. Edit : I smell foul play. YTA

Ms_Thrash − YTA. I am expecting this to happen to me if my father dies before my step mom. It hurts a lot to know this because she doesn’t love us and their affair destroyed my family. The abandonment hurts so f**king much as I see my dads kids with their new cars, have their college paid in full never having to get jobs so they can focus on their studies.

He denied us everything they got and he is very well off. Btw I asked him for money for college but had to talk it over with his wife that came back a negative. Just needed 5k my mom would pay the rest. He has three houses, and is partner at his business. It’s not my fault he left my mom and my step mom slept with a married man,

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but when I see the life their kids got it breaks my heart, and I really feel for your husbands kids because I never got to express how much this all hurt me, my step mom probably doesn’t even know how bad this hurts. Just like you probably don’t. It’s f**king painful, and not their fault they have a crazy ass mom.

Also I still visit my dad like your husbands kids did, and I still love him very much regardless of what he did. Because that’s how much a child and parent bond is. I know I will never get anything and I’m okay with that. I just want to be with my dad sometimes.. Edit: spelling and extra info about my love for my dad. Btw I know I’m not entitled to anything

AnotherSadClown − Yta. Common for spouses estates to pass to the other spouse with the expectation that upon the passing of the second spouse the children will share in distribution. By cutting out his kids now, you may be undermining your late husband's intended distribution of assets. Generally seems like a bad look to cut out a deceased spouse's kids for no reason other than to enrich your own kid at detriment of his kids. Like isn't this plot of Cinderella?

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mintleaves01 − I think the kids are innocent victims in this. I think they should get something they are his kids. Its not their fault whatever happened between their parents . And to just cut them out is extremly low and petty. It dosent matter how many times they visited him. He could of most likely tried harder as well. It really isnt up to the kids to make a relationship happen. Whatever your feelings are it's the noble kind right thing to do to include them.

Budget_Cartographer − So you're husband who was so desperate to be in the kids lives don't have custody, only saw them a few times and didn't even bother to leave them anything? Sure seems like he didn't give a s**t about his kids

Stunning-General − INFO Was your husband supporting his children in any way? Child support? Allowances? You said he wasn't allowed to see them or form relationships with his kids, but you don't know what their mother did to f**k up their lives and future. It could very well be the poisoning was that dad was a deadbeat who only loved his new family.

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It's understandable that children growing up with a toxic mother would feel a certain way about their dad. Furthermore, did your husband explicitly say he didn't want anything to go to his kids? Did he pass before he could amend his will? You said you inherited the estate, but does that mean that his property simply went to his spouse or did he explicitly leave the house for you?

I'm just asking because if your husband passed unexpectedly, he may not have fixed his will to either directly include or exclude his three biological children who he may not have financially supported during their childhoods. If that's the case, it's understandable why they expect to receive something now. It's their father after all.

These are hot takes from Reddit, but do they cut through the fog of this family drama? Some see the widow’s side, others smell a plot twist—either way, the truth lies in the messy middle.

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This widow’s story is a reminder that wills aren’t just about money—they’re about love, loyalty, and sometimes lingering grudges. Whether she’s right to prioritize her son or should share the estate, the decision will ripple through her family’s future. What would you do if you were in her shoes, balancing your own child’s needs against a late spouse’s complicated past? Share your thoughts—have you faced a similar family dilemma?

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