AITA for not being as excited about my younger sister’s dog adoption as I was about my older sister’s new child?

Picture a cozy hospital room, buzzing with the soft cries of a newborn and the warm glow of family love. A 32-year-old man beams, cradling his new nephew, while his older sister, Nina, radiates exhausted joy. Across the country, he’s dropped everything to celebrate this tiny human’s arrival, even slipping Nina $5,000 to ease her financial strain. But back home, his younger sister, Jen, is fuming, her new puppy not getting the same fanfare. Is it fair to prioritize a baby over a pet, or is Jen’s jealousy stealing the show?

The tension thickens as Jen’s passive-aggressive texts pile up, her adopted pup suddenly the center of her world. She demands equal enthusiasm, even an Amazon wish list for doggy gear, but her brother’s not biting. This family saga, shared on Reddit, sparks a debate: can a puppy’s arrival ever match a baby’s milestone? Let’s dive into this tale of sibling rivalry, where love for a child and a pet collide, leaving readers to wonder where loyalty should lie.

‘AITA for not being as excited about my younger sister’s dog adoption as I was about my older sister’s new child?’

I am 32 years old, male, and I live across the country from the rest of my family. My older sister, Nina, is 36, and my younger sister, Jen, is 25. Last month, Nina gave birth to her first child. When she went into labor, I booked the first ticket across the country to meet her new son.

I took a week off work and spent the entire time helping her out where I could, catching up with family, and looking for any excuse to hold her new baby. During this time, Jen was becoming visibly frustrated with the attention the baby was getting, and she went full passive-aggressive mode on me for the last few days of the trip.

On the last day, I gave Nina $5,000 for the baby to use as she wishes. I know she and her husband aren't in the greatest situation financially, and she would never ask me for money, but I was happy to give it to her. A week later, I suddenly got a message directing me to Jen's Twitter.

I ignored it at first because I don't use Twitter. Then I got a Skype message from her with a picture of a new puppy. I told her the dog was super cute and asked where she got it. Apparently she had 'saved' it from a local pound from euthanasia (absolute horseshit by the way; that puppy could be addicted to meth and someone would adopt it).

I congratulated her on her new dog and figured that was that. During the next week, Jen kept getting more and more persistent about when I would visit again to see her new dog. I told her I wouldn't be doing so, and so Jen linked me to her Amazon wish list for new dog necessities.

Since she doesn't work, it's not really any surprise that she would ask for someone to buy her things for her dog. I ignored it. Finally Jen snapped and sent me a really long message about how much attention I gave to Nina for 'having s**' (yuck, she's my sister too you know), how her dog means just as much to her as Nina's baby, and how I was such an ass to give Nina $1,000.

Apparently word got to her that I gave Nina money, but luckily she misunderstood and thought it was only $1,000. Thank f**k for that. Jen is still refusing to talk to me and our mother even says the least I could do is buy her a leash, but I don't want to encourage her behavior any further. AITA for sticking to my guns here?

Family dynamics can turn a joyful moment into a battlefield when jealousy rears its head. Jen’s reaction to her brother’s focus on Nina’s baby reveals a classic case of sibling rivalry, amplified by differing life stages. “Sibling relationships are often shaped by perceived favoritism, which can intensify during significant family events,” says Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family therapist, in a 2023 article from Psychology Today (psychologytoday.com). Jen’s demand for equal attention for her puppy suggests she feels overshadowed, possibly craving validation.

Jen’s behavior, though, veers into entitlement. Her crude remarks about Nina’s childbirth and insistence on gifts for her dog hint at deeper insecurities. A 2021 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that 60% of younger siblings report feeling less favored during major family milestones, often leading to passive-aggressive outbursts. Jen’s unemployed status and reliance on others for her pet’s needs further complicate her bid for attention, making her actions seem less about the dog and more about competing with Nina.

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From an expert lens, Jen’s reaction isn’t just about the puppy—it’s a cry for recognition. Dr. Gottman advises open communication to address such tensions: acknowledge feelings without reinforcing unreasonable demands. The brother could gently affirm Jen’s excitement about her pet while setting boundaries, explaining that a baby’s needs are uniquely demanding. Ignoring her wish list was wise to avoid enabling entitlement, but a small gesture, like a kind word about the dog, might ease the sting without escalating the drama.

For solutions, family mediation or a heartfelt chat could help Jen feel heard. Encouraging her to seek financial independence might also shift her focus from seeking validation through her pet. Ultimately, balancing empathy with firmness can prevent this sibling spat from becoming a full-blown feud.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s verdict is in, and it’s a lively mix of candor and wit—perfect for dissecting this family fiasco. Here are the top takes from the community:

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[Reddit User] − NTA.. If you need an Amazon wish list for your dog, you shouldn't be getting a dog...

Ainefcl − NTA, but is your sister ok? Like...has someone checked on her mental health?

ProgrammerBig6254 − Lol I’m sorry but your younger sister is an entitled and spoiled brat. Tell her that it’s a big difference between one becoming an uncle for the first time and someone else getting a dog (that they quite frankly shouldn’t be having if they don’t have an income). Tell her that you will by no means fly across the country just to see a puppy because it’s not comparable.

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Tell her that it’s extremely rude and immature to say that your sister received money, love and attention because she “had s*x”. That’s also Jen’s nibling ffs.. Also; I’m child free by choice and I have two cats.. My sister has a toddler. In no way do I think our parents should be giving my cats the same money and attention as they give to my niece.. That’s just ridiculous to say the least.

Gingykins87 − NTA. A puppy or dog or pet of any kind is not equal to having an actual human child. Your sister needs to grow up and realize that.

eldarwen9999 − NTA, a kid and a dog is a very different thing.. and I have both. Sad for the pup to be *rescued* just to be used as a piggy bank for money and attention. I agree with someone here to have her get some mental health/help. Maybe she's struggling and doesn't want to share or even know.

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[Reddit User] − I think you know you're NTA. Babies cost tons more than dogs, and dogs are also much less work. Do you talk to Jen often? Do you have a better relationship with Nina? Jen may be acting this way because she feels that you like Nina more and don't spend as much time with her.

lilipad23 − NTA. Your younger sister is an entitled and delusional brat. What kind of adult gets that jealous over their newborn nephew? I feel pissed about her for you. How is she going to take care of a dog when she has no income? But I would also like to ask, why do you think saving a dog from euthanasia is horseshit?. Edit: Someone nicely explained to me and now I get why haha

Annalirra − NTA. It’s a dog. Nina pushed a human being out of her body. I get that people are attached to their pets but damn, enough is enough.

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astrid28 − Nta She's jealous. She's too old to be acting like this. You are correct, so much as a leash will reinforce acting like that will get her 'something'. Go low contact, hopefully they get the point, you're not up for this bs. Its emotional blackmail, and trying to make you cave to stop the problem is not the solution. Addressing the problem (your immature sister) is the solution. She will just keep pulling this s**t if she get rewarded for it. Shut it down.

Straight-Example9126 − NTA. As a person who absolutely loves pets and wishes to raise a dog and cat some day soon - your reaction is normal. Your sister's behavior isn't normal. I can understand little jealousy but degrading your older sister's giving birth in such a crude manner is uncalled for.

And jealous of baby getting attention is lil too much. She's not 5 years old. I have a feeling she adopted the puppy not out of love and care but only for competing with older sis.. And no, if you don't feel attached to the doggo, you don't have to get things.

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These Reddit hot takes are spicy, but do they cut to the core of this sibling squabble? Or are they just fanning the flames of Jen’s puppy-sized tantrum?

This tale of babies, puppies, and sibling envy leaves us pondering: where do we draw the line between celebrating life’s milestones and managing family expectations? The brother’s devotion to his new nephew feels natural, but Jen’s hurt over her overlooked pup raises questions about fairness and attention. What would you do if caught in this family tug-of-war? Share your thoughts—have you ever navigated a sibling rivalry where pets and babies competed for the spotlight?

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