AITA for telling my ex-husband he doesn’t need to meet the kid’s half sibling?

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In a cozy nursery, a new mom cradles her infant daughter, basking in the joy of her blended family. But a shadow looms when her ex-husband, tied to her past through their two older kids, demands to meet the baby. His reasoning? The kids’ excitement about their new half-sibling. Her refusal, rooted in a messy divorce, stirs a storm of family tension and judgmental in-laws.

Was her boundary a protective shield or a petty jab? Reddit’s buzzing with opinions, pulling readers into a drama as tangled as a co-parenting schedule on a holiday weekend.

‘AITA for telling my ex-husband he doesn’t need to meet the kid’s half sibling?’

My 37F ex-husband 43 and I split 7 years ago after his affair partner reached out to me and told me she was expecting a child with him. He 'tried' to work things out with me but I was over the marriage and over him. We went our separate ways, worked out custody and I've done my best to move on.

I met my current husband shortly after the divorce but waited until the kids were more adjusted to the situation before introducing them. I remarried 4 years ago and have just recently had my daughter. The kids (8f, 10m) are super excited about their new siste

and I guess they brought the excitement to their dads house (we alternate weeks) as he's now asking questions about their new half sister. He said that since she's going to be a part of the kids lives he should at least be allowed to meet her.

This makes literally no sense to me because she's not related to this man even in the slightest and she'll have pretty much nothing to do with him at all besides maybe being at mutual family events. I told him he was way out of bounds and that I wouldn't be obliging this stupid and strange request.

Since this point the kids (I assume he put it in their heads) asked when the baby can meet their dad and I've explained as kindly as possible that it probably wont happen and they've been bummed out since.

My former MIL and FIL are saying that I'm being extremely petty and that they'd love to meet the baby too and that I need to 'move past things and be more accepting of the dynamic'. I'm baffled and feel like I'm in the twilight zone.

My husband said it's up to me and that as long as there's clear cut boundaries he'll accept what I choose, but I feel like this is pretty open and shut. I feel crazy though because other people in my situation have allowed this to happen and I'm just wondering if I'm actually wrong here.

INFO: 》I have never officially met his affair baby, nor do I plan to. He lives full time with his mother and only sees his half siblings maybe once or twice a year if even that, and no this is not my choice as I don't stake claim over when they meet or how.

》I'm aware he'll meet her at some point, I just don't see a point in an adult who's nearly a stranger meeting her before she can even remember him - she'll never have any reason to meet him besides a few times a year and she won't really comprehend who he is until she's 2 or 3.

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》His affair partner and him are not together, she believes once a cheater, always a cheater (her and I agree on this at the least).

》I do not have to like him to co-parent. I don't care to meet him for coffee, go to his family reunions (he's asked me to attend with the kids and I told him pound sand). My reasons being that he is manipulative

and in the past has used events where we're all together to try and play house with me. As stated before, I've taken the 'Not my Circus, not my monkeys' approach. I have no direct reason to involve myself and I frankly don't want to.

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Co-parenting after a divorce can feel like navigating a maze with no map. This mom’s refusal to let her ex meet her newborn highlights the challenge of balancing boundaries with family ties. Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Clear boundaries in co-parenting protect emotional well-being and prevent old conflicts from resurfacing”. His insight frames her firm stance.

Her ex’s request to meet the baby, driven by the kids’ excitement, clashed with her need to maintain distance due to his past betrayal. The kids’ disappointment, possibly fueled by his influence, and the in-laws’ push for inclusion added pressure. A 2023 study found 65% of divorced parents struggle with boundary-setting post-separation. Her refusal was about control over her new family unit, not pettiness.

Dr. Gottman suggests open communication with kids to clarify family roles. She could explain the baby’s different family ties gently, while her ex should respect her space.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit dished out a mix of support and spice, with a dash of humor to keep it lively. Here’s what they said:

thirdtryisthecharm − NTA. It would be weird if you actively prevent your ex from meeting your youngest when you happen to be in the same place (e.g. at one of the elder kid's graduation ceremonies, or birthday parties). But there is no reason he specifically needs to be introduced to your youngest.

MandeeLess − NTA he’s still trying to involve himself in your life beyond what is necessary and appropriate. Good on you for nipping that in the bud. Continue to be firm about your boundaries- there’s absolutely no need for him to meet your daughter, especially with the way your marriage ended.

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azdogmom79 − NTA f**k these people. That's your baby damn people need to understand boundaries he's your ex for a reason. Stand your ground mama.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Do these people not understand what divorce means? Your ex isn’t entitled to meet your new baby with your new partner, and his parents are certainly even less so.

On top of that, as the baby’s actual parent, you get to decide who meets your baby and when. Also, there’s still a pandemic going on so, why does everyone want to expose the baby to more people than is necessary?

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throwaway378495 − He wants to meet her because she’s going to be in your kids’ lives….does he have questions for her? Does he want to know her intentions? He understands what babies are right? What is meeting her going to do for him?. So so weird NTA

Trans_Karma − NTA he cheated on you and you have a right to keep your kids away from him. Honestly I think your daughter will eventually meet him just because he is your other children's father but in the first couple of years at least you have a right to keep her away from the man.

figuringthingsout__ − NTA. If you haven't already, remind the kids that even though they have the same mother, their younger sister has a different father. If your ex husband is trying to pull stuff like this now, it will likely only get worse.

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dodie2599 − NTA, he gonna suggest you ,him current partners all vacation together? Be swapping childcare help? Him and him parents need to learn boundaries... have you met affair baby?

NotMyFirstChoice675 − Tell everybody to back off otherwise you will no longer be civil. Your child is none of their business if you don’t want her to be.. NTA

newbie2454229 − NTA, I am surprised with the AH comments, does divorce mean something different in their world? Why would he need to meet your baby, don't give way, or next you'd be on the hook to meet his baby and play whatever role is appropriate for an ex-wife in his fantasies.

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These Reddit takes are fiery, but do they untangle the co-parenting knot or just add fuel?

This mom’s stand on boundaries shows how past hurts can shape new family dynamics. Her refusal stirred debate, but it also raises a question: where’s the line in co-parenting involvement? Have you faced pushy exes or in-laws in your family setup? Drop your stories below—let’s unpack this together!

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