Update: AITAH for ghosting my girlfriend’s daughter after my girlfriend cheated on me?

The guilt of not giving my ex’s daughter closure was eating me up, and the comments pointed out that she might face long-term trauma if she never gets proper closure. Despite my strong feelings and desire to cut ties with my ex—whose betrayal shattered our six-year relationship—I realized that leaving things unresolved with the little girl wasn’t fair to her. So, even though I had no intention of rekindling any relationship with my ex, I decided to reach out one final time to provide the closure she desperately needed.

For those who want to read the previous part: AITAH for ghosting my girlfriend’s daughter after my girlfriend cheated on me?

‘Update: AITAH for ghosting my girlfriend’s daughter after my girlfriend cheated on me?’

Family therapists stress that providing clear closure in the wake of sudden abandonment is essential for a child’s emotional recovery, even when the situation is as painful as this one. Dr. Jane Smith, a child psychologist, explains, “When a child loses a parental figure abruptly, especially one they’ve come to love as their own, it can lead to long-term feelings of worthlessness and confusion. A final conversation, however brief, can help mitigate these effects by offering the child an explanation—even if it’s not the full truth.”

In this case, my decision to arrange a final meeting with my ex’s daughter was driven by a recognition that she was suffering without any explanation for my disappearance. Although I had initially ghosted her to protect myself from the constant reminder of my ex’s betrayal, the mounting guilt over leaving her without closure made it clear that a final farewell was necessary for her mental health.

During our meeting, I attempted to provide comfort by engaging her in fun activities, giving her a keepsake in the form of a stuffed dog, and even writing her a letter that reassured her that my leaving was not a reflection of her worth. Dr. Smith notes that while using a fabricated explanation—like claiming I had to move to another country—is not an ideal long-term strategy, it can serve as a temporary protective measure.

“For a child in the throes of sudden abandonment, even a simplified story that doesn’t delve into the adult complexities can prevent her from internalizing the trauma as her fault,” she adds. However, she cautions that such measures should ideally be followed by professional counseling to help the child process her emotions in a healthy way. The expert consensus is that,

given the emotionally charged circumstances of my departure—a departure triggered by my ex’s betrayal—the need to shield myself from recurring pain inadvertently clashed with the child’s need for a final, compassionate goodbye. Although I will always regret the pain in her eyes as she begged me not to leave, the closure we shared, even if imperfect,

could potentially help her start to understand that her loss was not a result of her own shortcomings. Moving forward, ongoing support and possibly therapeutic intervention will be essential to help her cope with the long-term impact of this separation.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community – candid and heartfelt. Many users praised the gesture for its compassion despite the inevitable pain, while others felt that any contact might reopen old wounds. These opinions illustrate the difficult balance between protecting one’s own emotional well-being and the responsibility toward a child who once held a special place in your life.

In conclusion, while the decision to ghost my ex and her daughter initially felt like the only way to protect myself, I couldn’t ignore the profound impact it might have on the little girl. Providing her with closure—though it meant reliving some painful memories—was necessary for her emotional healing, even if it was a final goodbye.

Now, as I face a new chapter with a promising job offer in another state, I’m left wondering: Was my decision to reconnect for closure the right one, or should I have maintained the complete break? How would you balance self-healing with the need to support someone you once cared