AITA for telling my parents that my sister is sick, now our parents are forcing her to go to doctor?

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In a quiet suburban home, the hum of after-school life is pierced by worry as a 17-year-old brother notices his 16-year-old sister’s health crumbling. Vomiting, dizziness, and headaches plague her, yet she begs him to keep it secret from their busy parents, dreading a doctor’s visit. When her symptoms worsen, he spills the beans, sparking her fury but ensuring care. This Reddit post captures a sibling’s tough call, pulling readers into a drama of loyalty and love.

The brother’s dilemma—honor his sister’s plea or protect her health—strikes a chord, especially with her trans identity adding layers of fear about medical visits. Readers feel the weight of her anger and his guilt, wondering: is betraying a sibling’s trust justified for their safety, or should her autonomy come first? This story ignites a debate about family, trust, and tough love.

‘AITA for telling my parents that my sister is sick, now our parents are forcing her to go to doctor?’

My[17M] sister[16]. Has been feeling sick for last few days. She has thrown up a lot,gets dizzy, has headaches.(now that I typed it out it sounds like pregnancy symptoms. Just wanna make it clear, there’s 0% chance of her being pregnant).

I only noticed that she’s sick because we’re home most of the day after school. She has told me that it’s nothing and she’ll feel better soon. Our parents have really busy schedule and come home late at night,they don’t see her often, so they don’t know that she’s sick.

She has asked me not to tell our parents because she doesn’t want to go to a doctor(she’s kinda scared of them and avoids them unless it’s really necessary). She’s been getting worse tho, she threw up 4 times in a day. I told our parents about it. They talked to her and they’re bringing her to a doctor tomorrow. She’s PISSED at me.

Choosing between a sibling’s trust and their safety is a gut-wrenching call. The OP’s sister, battling vomiting and dizziness, downplays her illness, likely due to her fear of doctors, amplified by her trans identity. Her brother, seeing her worsen, alerts their parents, prioritizing her health over her wishes. Her anger is understandable—she feels betrayed—but his action stems from care, not control.

This situation highlights the unique challenges trans teens face in healthcare. A 2022 Trevor Project survey found 60% of transgender youth avoided medical care due to fear of discrimination (Source). The sister’s reluctance likely stems from past invalidation, making her doctor phobia more than just nerves.

Dr. Johanna Olson-Kennedy, a gender-affirming care expert, notes, “Trans youth need safe, affirming medical spaces to thrive” (Source). The sister’s fear suggests prior negative experiences, which the OP couldn’t fully address. His choice to involve parents was a practical step to ensure her safety.

The OP could support his sister by validating her fears and offering to join her at the doctor’s, advocating for respectful care. Parents should seek a trans-affirming provider.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s got a lot to say about this sibling saga, serving up empathy, tough love, and some sharp insights. From praising the brother’s quick thinking to unpacking the sister’s fears, these comments are a whirlwind of perspectives. Here’s the tea:

thesewalrus − NTA. Sounds like your sis really needs help, she shouldn’t be this scared. I hope she’s ok.

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ttywzl − NAH - Doctors are scary, but complications from an untreated health problem are scarier. You're a good brother, especially considering your parents have limited opportunities to know what's going on with her health by the sounds of things

do what you can to support your sister, but understand she might be mad at you for some time for not respecting her wishes. You're both at the age where you'll be feeling like you have more autonomy to make decisions for yourself, and feeling like that's been taken away sucks.

But you know what sucks more? A sibling dead of preventable causes before their life has even really begun. That's hopefully not what you were looking at, but that's the potential opportunity cost here - plus throwing up for four days can't possibly be good for her throat or teeth.

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davidayers90 − okay so I'm gonna try to add some important context here that is missing. This girl is trans, as OP has said, which means that her experience with doctors is likely a *whole* lot worse than any of y'all have ever experienced.

A young trans girl dealing with doctors for any reason will be subject to some of the worst transmisogyny you'll see outside of a terf meeting. The reason she's probably scared of going to the doctor is she's probably dealt with this s**t before, especially since at 16 she probably had to go through a lot of doctor's visits for HRT if her parents are supportive.

Anyways the tl;dr of this is: she's probably scared of her gender being invalidated and would rather be sick than go through that. NAH. ETA: dming me transphobia doesn't scare me y'all

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Meniak89 − Absolutely NTA! You did the right thing here! Your sister might not want to go to the doctor's, but it sounds like she definitely needs to go. You are looking out for her, and if something serious were to happen to her and you had known about her illness all this time

you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself! Being scared of going to the doctor's is fine, most people don't really like going, but she'll probably be thankful you made her once she feels better again!

Mirianda666 − NAH. Your sister asked you not to tell but her condition has not improved. If she's been throwing up regularly for days, she needs to get checked out for her own health and for the health of everyone she comes into contact with because there's a good chance she's making you sick, too.

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Her symptoms could also point to appendicitis, which is deadly if not caught early enough. At 16, she's not old enough to know the difference between a normal stomach bug and a growing internal infection. You did the right thing.

ArtisticLicence − NTA. Sometimes it's hard to care for people when they don't want it. We call this though love.

sebbohnivlac − NAH. Not to be hyperbolic, but it’s better to have a live sister that’s not happy with you than the alternative.

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TheCasualMaker − NAH, if she's sick, she needs to see a doctor. End of story.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Any possibility she could have an eating disorder? Could explain the secrecy and avoidance of the doctor.

wareosu − NAH. It’s great that you brought it to your parents’ attention. You care about her wellbeing and that’s okay. She’s scared and that’s okay as well. A lot of people are afraid of doctors. The anger will fizzle out soon and she’ll thank you

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These Reddit takes are raw, but do they get to the heart of the matter, or miss the mark?

This story of a brother’s tough call and a sister’s fear shows how love can spark conflict. The OP’s choice to prioritize health over trust wasn’t easy, especially with his sister’s trans identity adding complexity. It’s a raw reminder that caring sometimes means hard choices. What would you do if a loved one hid a health scare? Would you respect their wishes or intervene? Drop your thoughts below and let’s dive in!

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