AITA for telling my dad that I’m not a babysitter and if he wants me to babysit, he’ll have to pay?

Tension simmered in the cozy family living room, where a 22-year-old son faced his father’s hopeful gaze. The request? Babysit his energetic 5-year-old twin brothers for three whole weeks during Dad’s long-awaited honeymoon. The catch? No compensation, just sibling duty. The young man’s firm stance—pay me or find another solution—sparked a heated debate, leaving everyone wondering where family obligation ends and personal boundaries begin. It’s a tale of love, loyalty, and a touch of rebellion.

This story, plucked from Reddit’s AITA forum, captures a modern family’s tug-of-war between support and self-respect. With a blended family dynamic, a forgiving mom, and a father chasing romance, it’s a relatable saga that invites readers to weigh in. What happens when family asks for too much? Let’s dive into the drama.

‘AITA for telling my dad that I’m not a babysitter and if he wants me to babysit, he’ll have to pay?’

I’m now male 22 and I have a good relationship with my dad (43). When I was 16 my dad was caught cheating, my mom kicked him out and got his AP pregnant. AP was so much younger than him and left him with the kids (5M twins, she is still in the picture but acts more like a distant relative), he’s been a single dad ever since.

My mom and dad have reconciled and improved their relationship for my sake, my mom even helped him watch the babies a couple of times. I love them and I’ve never considered them to be my halfsiblings but my siblings, I’ve watched them a couple of times too (for a couple of hours)

After the divorce he dated a couple of people but nothing serious until he met Dan (40M) 2.5 years ago, (No surprises here, my dad was openly bi, and even dated men before meeting my mom) They got married this past May, it was a nice wedding, mom was there, I was there, the twins, family.

My dad is a great dad to me and the twins, I have no complaints about him, he has never left us behind but I think he is in a part of his life that he wants and needs time for himself. They couldn’t have their honeymoon immediately and they are planning to have it in a couple of weeks.

Dan wanted to take the boys with them but my dad convinced him not to, he argued that they’ll have their whole lives to see the boys and they needed this time for themselves. (Dan agreed) They asked my mom to watch the boys (They call her mom; they know she isn’t their mom) but my mom refused because it’s going to be 3 weeks long,

and I get why my mom doesn’t want to be that responsible for the kids (she usually watches them for a couple of hours) then my dad asked me but I told him that I’m not a babysitter and if he wants me to be one, he’ll have to pay. He got mad at me and said that they are my siblings and this is just a hand he needs.

Here is the thing, the boys are messy (like any other kid I know) but they are also a little shy/bratty so when another person watches them, they scream, cry, tantrums, etc. That’s why my dad can’t hire another nanny whether it’s me or my mom though my mom refused so whether I take care of them (I’m on a break from college) or my dad takes them.. AITA for expecting my dad to pay?

Navigating family requests can feel like walking a tightrope over a pit of guilt and duty. This young man’s dilemma—babysitting his twin siblings for three weeks unpaid—highlights a clash between family loyalty and personal boundaries. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family psychologist, notes, “Healthy relationships require clear boundaries, even within families” . Here’s a breakdown of the situation.

The son’s refusal to babysit for free stems from the twins’ challenging behavior and the marathon duration of the task. Three weeks of 24/7 childcare is no small feat, especially for a college student on break. His father’s frustration reflects a common parental expectation: family steps up without question. Yet, the son’s stance underscores a growing trend—young adults prioritizing self-respect over obligation.

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This situation mirrors broader societal shifts. A 2022 Pew Research study found 68% of young adults value personal time over family demands . The son’s request for payment isn’t greed; it’s a bid for fairness. Meanwhile, the father’s three-week honeymoon plan raises eyebrows, as extended absences can strain young children’s attachment, per child development experts.

Dr. Gottman’s advice to “communicate needs openly” applies here. The son could propose a compromise—like partial payment or shorter babysitting stints—while the father might reconsider the honeymoon’s length. Clear dialogue, not ultimatums, paves the way for mutual respect. Both parties can learn from this: family support thrives on balance, not sacrifice.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of cheers and jeers for this family saga. Their takes range from fist-pumping support for the son’s boundary-setting to raised eyebrows at Dad’s honeymoon plans. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

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NUT-me-SHELL − NTA. An afternoon is one thing, three weeks is a whole different ball of wax. At the very least he should be giving you money to spend to keep them entertained and fed.

throwmeawaypoopy − NTA.. Not your circus, not your monkeys.. And, to be quite blunt, a 3-week honeymoon with young kids is obscenely self-centered, inappropriate, and f**king ABSURD. I don't begrudge someone with young kids going on a long weekend.

Heck, you could even convince me that a week is reasonable. But *3 weeks?* That's just patently ridiculous and your dad should be embarrassed he even asked you to do it.. Pay has zero to do with this.

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Significant-Ad-9758 − Info: am I high right now or are you saying your dad is asking you to be a full time parent of two five year old boys that aren’t yours for 21 consecutive days and nights?

mkaybabesyoudoyou − A 3 week honeymoon when you’ve got young kids seems excessive? The twins are too young for a 3 week disappearance from their primary attachment figure. Sorry I know that’s not what you’re asking…

I think it’s really commendable how forgiving and loving you’ve been, many wouldn’t have been able to do what you and your mum have been doing with your dad and the twins. Ofc you’re NTA but I think the honeymoon itself needs rethinking from your dad.

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[Reddit User] − NTA, not your kids, not your problem

Murky_Captain_8192 − NTA - but I’m sorry I literally cannot focus on anything else in the story but the fact your mom is f**king Wonder Woman. She’s got a soul made of gold. Insha’Allah may Allah grant your mom the best spot in heaven for her mercy. Because lord knows I wouldn’t have been able to do what your mom did.

[Reddit User] − NTA. 3 weeks is NUTS, and also sets a precedent you may not like. Pick an appropriate hourly rate, do the math, and present your dad with an estimate.

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Commercial-Union2574 − NTA they aren't your kids to watch. i understand him being more comfortable with you watching them rather than a stranger but 3 weeks is a lot. he should pay if it's that important to him.

Sunny_Hill_1 − NTA. It's three weeks of 24/7 childcare, it's quite natural that he should offer you some compensation.

Jallenrix − NTA. A three week honeymoon with small kids is ridiculous. Time to break it to Dad that he’s no longer young, single and carefree.

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These Redditors rallied behind the son, praising his stand or marveling at his mom’s saintly patience. Some called the three-week honeymoon “absurd,” while others urged a paid compromise. But do these hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the fire?

This story leaves us pondering the delicate dance of family ties and personal limits. The son’s bold move to demand payment sparks a vital question: where do we draw the line between duty and self-care? His father’s dream honeymoon clashes with the reality of parenting, making this a universal tale of balance. Readers, what’s your take? Would you babysit for free, or stand firm like this young man? Share your thoughts—what would you do in this sticky situation?

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