AITA for wearing earplugs and headphones to sleep and study since my parents had a baby?

Ellen Andrade Hours
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Picture a cozy suburban home buzzing with the chaos of four siblings, now topped with the piercing wails of a newborn. For a 21-year-old college student, this is the new reality after their campus shut down, forcing a return to the family nest. Sleep becomes a distant dream, and Zoom classes feel like a battle against a cacophony of cries. Desperate for peace, they turn to foam earplugs and noise-canceling headphones, piling pillows for extra defense. It works—sleep returns, focus sharpens—but the family isn’t thrilled.

The student’s solution sparks tension, with parents and siblings frustrated by their “closed-off” vibe and unavailability to help with the baby. The clash raises a juicy question: is it selfish to prioritize personal sanity over family duties? This Reddit tale dives into balancing self-care with household expectations, pulling readers into a relatable tug-of-war.

‘AITA for wearing earplugs and headphones to sleep and study since my parents had a baby?’

I am a 21 year old college student living at home again because my college campus is shut down. I have a 17 year old brother, a 15 year old sister, and a 13 year old brother. So ... Yeah I was already sick of babies and babysitting and all that comes with that.

Then this year my parents got pregnant, and had a baby girl. She's 3 months old now, and I'd been going a little crazy in the house already because it's noisy being around all my younger siblings. Now with a crying baby too, sleep and school have been difficult.

I started wearing foam earplugs to bed, the kind construction workers wear to protect their hearing, then I bought a pair of noise cancelling headphones for myself and started wearing them over top of the foam earplugs to bed. With a couple pillows piled over my ears. And I've been sleeping a lot better.

I've also started wearing the earplug / headphones combination when I'm in classes or studying. I can hear the teachers through the headphones despite the earplugs and I am not distracted at all.. I've also been wearing them when I am doing things like reading books or video calling my friends.

And my parents and siblings have started to get upset with me, saying that I've been completely closed off from the family, I can't hear anything like my parents calling my name. They don't like how I can't hear the baby to help out sometimes, my parents like all the siblings to help each other out and help with the baby when we can,

and say it's dangerous for me to be blocking out her crying because what if I'm the only one who could have caught something bad happening if only I was aware of my surroundings. They've also been upset with me because I've locked my door when I sleep or study and a few times they've wanted something from me and couldn't get my attention.

Like one time some of their family friends came over and they wanted all the family to come have brunch with this family. Which I didn't really feel comfortable with visits anyway but they were embarrassed that they couldn't wake me. AITA for wearing earplugs and noise cancelling headphones after my parents had a surprise baby when I am in college but studying from home?

This student’s retreat into earplugs and headphones screams self-preservation in a house bursting with noise. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family psychologist, notes, “Healthy boundaries are essential for individual well-being within a family system” . The student’s need for sleep and focus clashes with their parents’ expectation of collective childcare, highlighting a classic family tension: individual needs versus group responsibilities.

The student’s strategy—earplugs, headphones, locked doors—shows resourcefulness but isolates them, fueling family frustration. Parents see it as shirking duty, while the student prioritizes academic success. This reflects a broader issue: 43% of young adults living at home report stress from family expectations, per a 2023 Pew Research study . The parents’ push for help is understandable but overlooks the student’s pressures.

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Gottman’s advice on clear communication applies here: the student could negotiate specific times to help, balancing their needs with family roles. Setting boundaries, like designated study hours, can ease tension without dismissing the baby’s needs. Families thrive on compromise, not ultimatums.

Safety concerns, like missing emergencies, are valid. The student should ensure they can hear critical alarms, perhaps by testing headphone settings. Open dialogue about responsibilities could bridge the gap, fostering mutual respect without sacrificing the student’s academic focus.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, dishing out support with a side of sass. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd, buzzing with cheers and a few raised eyebrows:

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Roonil_Wazlib97 − NTA -- sleep and school are absolutely the priority for you. College is so damn expensive, you can't afford to do poorly because you are sleep deprived. Unless you have been specifically asked and agreed to watching your baby sister for set periods of time, she is not your responsibility. If they didn't want to take care of an infant, there were PLENTY of ways to prevent that.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your parents had this baby, not you. If they want someone else to accept responsibility for their child, they need to negotiate the timeframe.

[Reddit User] − NTA - if they choose to have children they have to be fully responsible for them. They have no right to infringe on your studying or your sleep for free babysitting.. Though I can’t help but worry what would happen if your house caught fire.

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herdingsquirrels − NTA. I completely understand needing some privacy and a little quiet. However, do you ever take them out and just spend some family time? From the way you wrote that it came across as you’re basically wearing then all the time. They are your family and you do live with them, maybe you could make a point of being fully present with them more often?

SkySongWMass − NTA, but please make sure you'd at least be able to hear the smoke/carbon monoxide alarm if it went off.

DisneyFoodie20 − NTA. Your parents need to stop having children with the expectation that their other children will take care of them. Their child, their responsibility.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Locking your door and using earplugs/headphones so you can try and live your life sounds perfectly reasonable. The baby really isn't your problem; it is your parents' problem to sort it out.

[Reddit User] − NAH I’m gonna go against the grain a bit here. Yeah it’s technically correct that you don’t owe your parents any help with child care and it’s their responsibility...but flip the situation a bit: they don’t owe you a place to live at age 21, so they’re not assholes for expecting you to help out in exchange for living there.

FakeGirlfriend − I wouldn't sleep with my door locked if I were you. You have noise cancelling headphones on, and if there was a fire or emergency you could get hurt or someone else could get hurt trying to save you.

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Having said that, it bothers me so much when people have children and expect other children to help raise them. And you've done your job with all the other kids. This baby is their responsibility, and that's that. Your sleep and school come first. NTA.

diamonddna − INFO: are you there as a paying boarder, or are you there because you're family? I think the distinction is important. People in a family help each other because it's what you do as a member of the household. Parents have stresses like we've never seen before; working from home while making sure kids do schoolwork and still taking care of a house, cooking, cleaning,

and holiday planning are stressing people out. When you moved back in, did other people in the house have to go back to sharing a bedroom? Did someone have to move furniture? Who does your laundry? As a member of a family, you would expect to pitch in and help. If you're there as part of the family, you are definitely benefitting from someone else's unpaid labor.

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If you aren't willing to help out with taking care of an infant, how are you helping out? If you're paying, that puts you on a different footing. Because it's a business relationship; you are paying for the space, for food, presumably for part of the utilities. Consequently you are contributing to the household with cash,

and expecting you to do other chores (including child care) isn't part of the deal unless that was negotiated. That said...I do feel for you. Going from an independent space back to Mom's house is a huge adjustment, and the time and quiet you need for focus, especially when you can't leave the house, is a real issue. Good luck, OP.

These Redditors rallied behind the student’s quest for peace, slamming parental expectations as unfair. Some urged family bonding to ease tensions, while others flagged safety risks like missing alarms. But do these fiery takes capture the full vibe, or are they just stoking the drama?

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This tale of earplugs and family friction shows how tricky it can be to carve out personal space in a packed house. The student’s fight for focus is relatable, but so is the family’s plea for teamwork. Striking a balance is tough but doable with clear boundaries and a sprinkle of empathy. What would you do if you were caught between your studies and a crying baby at home? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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