AITA for refusing to temporarily give away my cat just because I have a baby?

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In a snug apartment filled with the soft coos of a newborn, a young couple’s joy is tinged with tension. A 23-year-old dad, cradling his three-week-old daughter, faces an unexpected ultimatum: his wife, swayed by her grandmother’s old-school warnings, wants to temporarily rehome his cherished seven-year-old cat over fears of baby suffocation. For him, this cat isn’t just a pet—it’s a lifeline from darker days, making the request feel like a betrayal.

This Reddit tale purrs with emotion, pitting science against superstition and love for a pet against family pressure. As the new dad stands his ground, citing evidence that cats pose no real threat, his wife’s frosty response leaves readers wondering: can love for a baby and a pet coexist? Let’s unravel this furry family drama.

‘AITA for refusing to temporarily give away my cat just because I have a baby?’

I (23M) and my wife (24F) just had a baby girl who is three weeks old as of today. I have had a cat for the past seven years, and think of her as a permanent part of my life that I probably wouldn't be able to cope without because he helped me through a very bad time in my life.

My wife's family is very old-fashioned, which is fine, but her grandmother somehow learned that I have a cat. She apparently told my Father-in-law (Why didn't she tell us directly? I don't know) to tell us that having a baby, especially one that's so small, and a cat in the same living space is dangerous for the baby because of suffocation concerns and things like that.

My wife has always been very close to her grandmother, and very susceptible to whatever her grandmother tells her, whether it be factual or just plain ridiculous. I told my Father-in-law that there was nothing to worry about and then tried to laugh it off with my wife, but she's concerned.

I brought up multiple articles on the internet that explicitly say that cats aren't a danger, but my wife sat me down yesterday, and asked if we could temporarily give my cat to a friend or family member. I refused, and she accused me of being selfish and not caring for our baby.

I repeated what the articles had said, and reminded my wife that her grandmother, as lovely of a person that she is, belives in a lot of old-wives tales that don't make sense. My wife got upset and just ended the whole argument there on the basis of not wanting to argue in front of the baby, but is acting very cold to me.. AITA?

New parenthood is a whirlwind, and this dad’s clash over his cat highlights how fears can cloud judgment. His wife, gripped by her grandmother’s tale of cats suffocating babies, pushes to rehome a beloved pet, while he counters with evidence debunking the myth. Both are driven by love—for their baby and, for him, his cat.

Dr. Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, an anthropologist studying family dynamics, observes, “Parental anxiety often amplifies perceived risks, especially with cultural myths.” The wife’s worry, rooted in folklore, overlooks studies showing cats pose no inherent danger to infants with basic precautions. This dispute reflects a broader clash: tradition versus reason in new families.

The dad’s refusal isn’t selfishness; it’s loyalty to a pet that saved him emotionally. Yet, his wife’s anxiety as a new mom deserves empathy. Compromise could ease tensions—like keeping the cat out of the nursery or using a baby monitor for peace of mind. These steps respect both science and her fears without sacrificing the pet.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit pounced on this story, serving up spicy takes with a dash of humor. Here’s what the community had to say:

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sweatshower − NTA. That's practically a myth, the cat isn't going to be a danger to the baby so long as you guys use some common sense.. Just don't let the cat sleep in its crib, and keep the baby away from the litter box. It's entirely possible to keep the cat away from the baby for those first few weeks. That can be a compromise, not rehoming the cat entirely, that's ignorant.

missmistryl − NTA. Not only do millions of people have cats and babies at the same time, but studies have shown that having pets around when kids are really young can possibly prevent allergies in the future.

milee30 − You don't get rid of beloved pets because an older relative believes in old wives' tales.. NTA

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[Reddit User] − NTA. NTA. NTA. Whatever they said about the cat and dangerous is Bulls\*\*t. Don't give away that cat. If you give into throwing your cat away, then, later on, they will expect you to give away more important things in the future. If they think they can bully you into doing this, then they will do it more often. Hold your ground. Your wife's grandma is full of s\*\*t.. Pets are great with kids.

666POD − Your wife is wrong obviously but her new mom anxiety is real. Try to find a constructive way to make her feel safe and assure her the baby is not in danger. For example you can keep the cat out of the baby’s room and discourage the cat from interacting with the baby until she’s older.

Try to be supportive and understanding to your wife but draw a clear line that the kitty is not going anywhere. And be careful because some malicious family member might enter your home and try to steal or harm your kitty.

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Katja1236 − NTA. I had three cats when my son was born, two of whom are still with us, and none of them hurt him in any way. Even when he pulled tails (not out of malice) or grabbed at fur, which would have won us at least an angry scratching, they were patient and just moved out of reach.

In fact, one of my fondest memories is watching my son crawling across the living room floor, encountering the eldest and most patient of the cats going the other way. They looked at each other for a second,

politely headbutted, and went on their way. The stories about cats suffocating babies are, in fact, old wives' tales. And cats recognize human babies and children as 'kittens' and tend to treat them more gently than adult humans.

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Antithinks − NTA. You don’t just get rid of a cat because an elderly person is superstitious.

QuixoticLogophile − NTA There are solutions for your wife's anxiety besides just getting rid of the cat. You can always put the baby down to sleep in his room with the door closed (so the cat can't get in) and a baby monitor on. Anxiety is not an acceptable reason to get rid of an animal. Tons of people have cats and babies and everything is just fine.

ohdearitsrichardiii − NTA There's a lot of superstition and folklore around cats. Black cats are unlucky, witches have cats, cats have nine lives. One old wives' tale is that cats steal babies' breaths. Its origin is probably an attempt to explain SIDS.

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It's no more true than ghosts and goblins. If your wife is superstitious then give her a talisman to hang over the baby's bed. Yes, that's feeding into her superstition, but it will calm her down better than any scientific article in this situation.

After a few months when the stress of being first time parents have subsided, you can revisit the discussion and hopefully she'll be more receptive to the scientific fact that cats don't harm babies and even have positive benefits to children

e-elegia − NTA. The idea that pets have to go once there's a baby in the house is very old-fashioned. Just keep the cat out of the baby's room when you're not directly supervising and there shouldn't be anything to worry about. You tried to reason with your wife and provide resources to assuage her fears, and she went right to accusatory statements.

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These claws-out opinions shred the superstition, but do they miss the wife’s genuine fear? Maybe the real challenge is finding middle ground in a house full of love and fur.

This Reddit saga leaves us scratching our heads: how do you honor a pet’s place in your heart while soothing a partner’s fears? The dad’s stand for his cat champions science, but his wife’s anxiety, fueled by family lore, begs for understanding. What would you do if faced with choosing between a furry friend and family harmony? Drop your thoughts below—let’s keep this convo purring!

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