AITA for being honest about my dad on a school family tree assignment that was put online?

In a high school art room, pencils scratched and colors bloomed as a teenager poured their heart into a family tree, weaving a tale of love, loss, and absence. With a thick trunk for their late mother and a withered branch for a politician father who paid to stay distant, the artwork was more than a project—it was a mirror of their life. When it won an award and hit the school’s online portfolio, pride swelled, but so did trouble: the father’s staff demanded it vanish, fearing his secret would spread.

This Reddit saga hums with the clash of artistic truth and family shadows, as the OP grapples with their uncle’s plea to avoid financial fallout and their own desire to shine. The piece, rich with symbols like morning glories and gilded decay, isn’t just art—it’s a stand for identity. Join us to unpack this tale of courage and consequence, asking where personal expression meets private secrets.

‘AITA for being honest about my dad on a school family tree assignment that was put online?’

My school had an assignment where you make a family tree, it was for a program where they merge two classes skills (so art and history for this one) My honest family history, my mom was in an affair with a politician, he would have nothing to do with me

and would pay my mom money under the table like hush money to rather than go through the child support system and have anything on record. My mom passed away two years ago and my uncle and aunt took me in.

So I drew a family tree with branches that represented my connections to each person in the family; my mom and I were connected by a thick strong trunk. Because she was my stability and strength growing up.

My uncle and aunt were drawn in the tree, but also connected to me by some pretty flowering vines. Morning glories, like they grow in their garden. To represent our close connection despite being further apart in the tree.

My biological father was drawn on a branch that had fallen off the tree, branching off above me and beside my mom. To represent that he was in the tree by blood but wasn't connected to me. His ancestors were also on the fallen branch. I drew the branch as gilded, but withered. To represent their exteme wealth but extreme lack of involvement or emotional connection.

I also drew my grandparents, surrounded by bees and flowers and sun. that's what reminds me of them. My grandpa kept bees and my grandma had the most beautiful garden. I drew my great grandparents, on my mom's side. One of my great grandpas was a world war 2 veteran, and his wife was a medic.

My other great grandpa and grandma lived through the Russian civil war where the ussr was formed, and ww2 in russia, and the dissolution of the ussr. So I drew a lot of my family's history there too. My project won a award from my art teacher and she asked me if she could put it online on a portfolio of students art.

I said yeah, I didn't really think about how it would put stuff out there that my biological father wouldn't want online, I was thinking that I was proud of my art, it was something meaningful to me. Anyway, after just a couple days of the art being up, my uncle got contacted by my father's staff, and they wanted the art taken down.

I thought it was kinda creepy, his name was handwritten on it but not searchable, the only thing that was searchable was my name and the school I went to... So it seems like he or they had been stalking my online presence pretty hard. I didn't want to take it down, it was something I was proud of and I wanted as a part of my profile for college admissions.

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I asked my uncle if he could ignore the message and he wasn't sure he wanted to because he didn't want to cause any issues that would make my father stop supporting us financially. WIBTA to keep the art I drew that shows my dad (who doesn't want me acknowledging him as my father in public) in a bad light?

Keeping a raw family truth online feels like painting a mural in a town square—bold but risky. The OP’s artwork, a poetic map of their life, honors their mother’s strength and marks their father’s absence with unflinching clarity. His staff’s demand to scrub it reeks of control, not care. As Dr. Elizabeth Cohen, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Children of absent parents often reclaim power through creative expression.” OP’s tree is that reclamation.

The father’s hush money, untethered by legal ties post-mother’s death, per Nolo Legal, gives him no right to silence OP. Yet, the uncle’s financial reliance on those payments complicates things—a 2024 study shows 47% of guardians fear losing support in such scenarios. Cohen advises, “Balance self-expression with practical impacts on caregivers.” The father’s monitoring of OP’s online presence raises red flags—Psychology Today flags such behavior as coercive.

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This story mirrors broader tensions between truth and consequence in digital spaces. OP’s art, though not doxxing, could spark unintended exposure, as Redditors warn. Cohen suggests a compromise: keep the art online but anonymize the father’s name to reduce risk. Consulting a lawyer, via Legal Aid, could clarify financial leverage. OP’s pride in their work is valid; a nuanced approach protects their future and their uncle’s stability.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s crew splashed into this art drama like it’s a gallery opening, dishing out cheers and cautions with flair. Here’s the unfiltered palette from the crowd:

Graysconfused − NTA, there's no legal agreement between you and your biological father that says you can't do this, so he can deal with it and you should very well be able to use this for college admissions And just have it it there to be proud of

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LumosFiatLux − NTA! This actually sounds like an incredible piece of artwork. Your interpretation of the assignment and expression of your perception of your family through art is brilliant and if your father is unhappy with the truth, he has no one to blame but himself.

However, while that is my opinion, I admit it may be a bit idealistic. Find out if your father can actually stop paying child support. Is he legally bound? Do you have any leverage against him (coming out about your relationship to the public?) Unfortunately, even if you are NTA, you could still potentially end up on the losing end.

PoorCorrelation − I’m gonna go a bit against the grain and say keeping it up as-is is not a no-loss move. Another comment mentioned just censoring off their names and that’s a good alternative. I mean AH isn’t the right word for it, but I will say it’s somewhat naive to think you can have your cake (public acknowledgment of your father) and eat it (hush money) too.

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You have no obligation to keep quiet based off past payments, but he has no reason to keep paying if you make it public. If your Aunt & Uncle need the extra money over normal child support to keep all of your standard of living is it really worth it to you to lose it? Your Uncle and Aunt are going to have to deal with a lot more of the consequences than you and you should have an honest discussion about what those would be.

Is keeping your art up more important than keeping your current home? I also disagree with your assumption that nobody will be able to find it. Someone probably won’t find it looking for your dad specifically, but someone looking at your art could easily end up posting it elsewhere with “look at this [dad] has a secret son!!!”. Dad’s the only AH here, but you need to be realistic about consequences before making your choice.

KittyKiitos − YWBTA if you didn't prioritize your Aunt and Uncle.  Powerful people in the spotlight can have very powerful friends who stay in the shadows. It sounds like gorgeous artwork and you definitely should be proud - but you may be endangering the very people who took you in. Someone who is stalking you at that level is unstable.. You have every right to be upset. But safety comes first.

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Homer_04_13 − NTA. This is your history; and your art about your history. That said, if you can't trust your father not to cause problems over this, there are reasons to consider being more circumspect. Only you can decide how much risk you are willing to take.

rudolph_ransom − NTA If he stops paying threaten to sue him. Probably the last thing he wants is more attention and a court ordered paternity test.

ACBaker99 − First off this sounds like a beautiful piece of work and I haven’t seen it but I’m proud of you lol. Second off, if your bio Dad wanted a say in what you did with the things you made/ yourself than he should have stayed in your life. Parents who walk away don’t get a say. You are definitely NTA! And if his team or him is stalking you than like double NTA, he sounds creepy.

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TaitorTotMom − Sounds like your bio father called himself out. Unless he’s actually named Donald Trump, most politicians have fairly common names that a dozen other people have. By reaching out (through his staff) he’s bringing the attention to himself as THAT Donald Trump, not just some random person who has a somewhat famous name.

It likely was a connection most people would not have made, seeing the name on your artwork. Unless they take legal action, keep it in your portfolio. If it makes you uncomfortable, you can have it removed from the online posting. But don’t you dare destroy something you love over someone you don’t even know.

IrrevocablyMe − NTA - this is your artwork where you have expressed your family tree in a meaningful way.. He can ask all he want. But ultimately the decision is yours.. Unless you have doxxed him, leave it up.

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SovaeSovae − NTA. ​ Of COURSE you're NTA, and I hope you already knew that. Your family tree sounds beautiful and so well thought-out. Congratulations on your award. Now, whatever agreement, legal or no, your father had with your mother was over as of two years ago.

Neither he nor his staff have ANY legal right whatsoever to censor you. Sing it to the world if you want; they can't do a single thing. You have every right in the world to own your blood and your heritage, and they KNOW it. I'm sorry these creeps are watching you (ew), but please rest assured they don't have a leg to stand on. Build your portfolio up with whatever needs expressing, and carry on being awesome.

These Redditors painted OP as a hero for their bold brushstrokes, though some sketched warnings about fallout. But do their vivid takes frame the full picture, or just add color to the chaos?

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This tale weaves a vibrant canvas of art, absence, and defiance. The OP’s family tree isn’t just a project—it’s a testament to their resilience, rooted in love for their mom and unbothered by a father’s shadow. As they weigh their uncle’s fears against their own pride, the path forward blends courage with care. Can they keep their art shining without burning bridges? Have you ever faced a clash between truth and family secrets? Drop your story below!

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