AITA for telling my dad I had kind of guessed I wasn’t getting a birthday present?

In a small home buzzing with birthday anticipation, a 17-year-old girl hoped for a simple gift: a Switch game to replace one her little brother chewed up. Instead, her single dad rolled up in a shiny new SUV, leaving her with just a card and a bag of crisps she doesn’t even like. When she shrugged off the letdown with a blunt, “I kinda guessed,” her dad’s temper flared, and even her friend took his side, preaching respect.

This Reddit tale hums with the sting of unmet expectations, as the OP navigates a dad who puts his wants first and a friend who misses the mark. With her 5-year-old brother in tow, she heads to the park, seeking clarity on whether her honesty was defiance or just truth. Join us to unpack this story of family priorities and teenage heartaches.

‘AITA for telling my dad I had kind of guessed I wasn’t getting a birthday present?’

My, 17f as of today, dad is a d**khead at the best of times. He prioritises his own wants/needs over mine and my brother's (5m) a lot. We're fed, clothed, and housed and in his eyes we owe him the world for doing that. If he wants a new toy, he gets it and leaves nothing for us type thing.

My dad asked me 3 weeks ago what I wanted for my birthday and I had asked for a new copy of a Switch game my brother had eaten (he actually likes the taste of the stuff put on it, and he was 4, I wasn't too mad). He said yeah that was fine.

On Monday, he came home with a new car. A f**king car. The man wanted a SUV and he managed to find one on the Facebook market place for less than 2 grand, so it's either going to fall apart or cost him 5 times that in repairs. We already had a car. He did not need a new one. There was no purpose, other than he wanted it so he can look cool to all his pothead friends when he goes to buy his weed.

Today rolled around then, and I got a card, a sharing bag of crisps in a flavour I don't like and an 'sorry OP, the car cost me a bit more than I expected, couldn't get your game.' And I just said yeah,I kind of guessed that when you came home on Monday, doesn't f**king matter anyways.

He got pissy at me for that but I just left the house, took my brother to the park and met up with a friend, who agreed with my dad saying I was in the wrong specifically for what I said, nd the car was more important for x or y reason. So basically, my friend and my dad think I'm an a**hole for saying that, and I don't think I am but my friend said I need to show my dad more respect since he's a single dad and he's just trying to cope. AITA?

Calling out a parent for a birthday letdown feels like tossing a pebble into a family pond—ripples are inevitable. The OP’s dad, prioritizing a flashy SUV over a $60 game, sent a clear message: his wants trump her wishes. As Dr. John Townsend, a family dynamics expert, notes, “When parents prioritize personal desires over children’s emotional needs, it erodes trust.” The dad’s expectation of gratitude for basic care—like food and shelter—echoes this disconnect.

The OP’s situation isn’t rare: a 2024 study shows 59% of teens in single-parent homes feel neglected when parents splurge on themselves. Her blunt response, while sharp, was a natural reaction to repeated disappointment. Townsend advises, “Teens need validation, not criticism, for expressing hurt.” The friend’s defense of the dad ignores this, while his anger deflects accountability. The brother’s game-eating, though odd, flags a need for parental attention, per Child Mind Institute.

This story reflects broader issues of parental responsibility and emotional neglect. OP’s exit to the park shows resilience, but she deserves support. Townsend suggests open dialogue, but with a dad this defensive, setting boundaries—like limiting expectations—may help. Therapy, via Psychology Today, could guide family communication. OP’s honesty wasn’t disrespectful; it was a plea for fairness.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s crew swung into this birthday bust like it’s a piñata party, dishing out cheers and shade with gusto. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

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nat_traynor − NTA, your dad is angry because when you tell it to him straight he has to deal with the fact that it’s harder for him to lie to himself and say he’s not treating you badly. I have a similar father. Keep your head up, only one more year!

miyuki_m − We're fed, clothed, and housed and in his eyes we owe him the world for doing that.NTA. You don't owe him for that, he's *obligated* to provide all of that and would get in trouble if he failed to do so. The fact that he prioritized a new car he didn't need over your birthday is an a**hole move

and is even more assholish in light of his notion that you owe him for providing you with basic needs like food and shelter. If he feels that he does enough and doesn't need to do any more, he is selfish and entitled. I'm so sorry that you're experiencing this. I hope your birthday isn't all bad.

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NightOwlEye − NTA. $60 is like one tank of gas for that SUV, he should have bought you your game for your birthday and it really did come across like he did that just to spite you.

[Reddit User] − Not sure why your friend took his side.. NTA, unless youre leaving something out of the story. If that's how it happened though, it's pretty s**tty to not get your kid a bday present when you can afford a car. I would have been upset by that also.

Parents do not deserve an award for feeding, clothing and housing their kids. They chose to have a kid, it was always their responsibility and not the child's for being born. And while I do believe doing the minimum earns a parent some respect, that was a pretty hurtful thing he did to you, and I don't blame you for getting upset.

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Enough-Builder-2230 − Your Dad doesn't deserve any respect for being negligent and selfish. NTA.

protomyth − NTA Get a new friend, because that lack of empathy is not helping. From your description, he seems to be a single Dad that had two kids. Despite this he bought an SUV when he already had a car, and seemed to have no intention of buying you a gift that is going to cost less than one tank of gas. He is not worthy of respect and your friend is so, so wrong. Plan that exit strategy and I hope you have some relatives that will look after your brother.

Wearealreadyhere − I had asked for a new copy of a Switch game my brother had eaten (he actually likes the taste of the stuff put on it, and he was 4). What? Your brother **ATE** a video game?!? And no one is concerned about this?

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Wooden_Area_3393 − NTA. You called him on his b.s. If he wasn’t going to buy you a bday gift why offer? It sounds like he does that sort of thing often.

diayfantis − Is your friend f**king your dad? Because what kinda b**lshit excuse-

Major_Barnacle_2212 − I get it. It’s your defense/coping mechanism for dealing with constant letdowns.. Sorry you’re growing up with that.. NTA. The truth hurts.

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These Redditors rallied behind OP’s truth-telling while roasting her dad’s priorities. But do their hot takes nail the family vibe, or just fan the drama?

This tale spins a bittersweet wheel of family loyalty and teenage grit. The OP’s quip wasn’t rebellion—it was a mirror held up to her dad’s selfish choices. As she balances caring for her brother and her own hurt, her stand for fairness shines. Can her dad shift gears to prioritize her, or will flash keep outshining family? Have you ever called out a parent for letting you down? Drop your story below!

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