AITA for not letting my daughter get acrylics?

Jude Roberts Hours
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In a cozy suburban home, the Christmas wish of a 14-year-old girl sparked an unexpected family showdown. With twinkling lights adorning the tree, her simple request for a nail salon visit to get long, glamorous acrylics clashed with her mother’s practical sensibilities. The mother, a press-on nail enthusiast, saw acrylics as a frivolous expense, setting the stage for a heated debate about value, self-expression, and teenage dreams.

This tale of glittery nails and bruised egos unfolds with raw emotion, as the daughter fears social ridicule and the father pleads for compromise. It’s a story that resonates with anyone who’s navigated the tricky waters of parenting or yearned for a touch of sparkle to feel seen. Let’s dive into this Reddit drama and uncover the layers beneath the polish.

‘AITA for not letting my daughter get acrylics?’

I (40f) have a daughter (14f) who asked me if one of her Christmas presents could be a trip to the nail salon. She wanted to get long acrylics done like she sees a lot of other girls wearing. I am going to be honest and say that I think acrylic nails are a waste of money when press-ons are much cheaper and can look just as good when done properly, even though they don't last quite as long.

I wear press ons pretty regularly, which she knows. When she asked if I would take her I said no, and explained my reasoning. I told her that she could look online or I'd take her to ulta and get her press ons that I'd show her how to do. Since that sounds cheap, and because it isn't about the dollar amount, it's about where the money is going,

I told her I would try and get her a hair appointment and she could get something fancy done. My daughter objected - saying that nobody gets press ons done and that press ons don't look good. Admittedly, I felt hurt as I think I do pretty good on my nails. I told her that she can take my offer or leave it, but she won't be disrespectful.

She continued to complain about how she'd be made fun of for having press ons and not the real thing. I told her if she got her own money I'd take her to the salon but I am not paying for something I feel is a waste of money. My husband says I'm being too harsh, and that acrylics are a status symbol for girls now.

I said that she's 14, she doesn't need a symbol of her status. He pointed out that we could afford a trip to the nail salon. I agreed, but reiterated that it isn't about the dollar amount, it's about the worth. My husband grumbled for a bit and now they are both unhappy with me. AITA?

Navigating a teen’s desire for self-expression can feel like walking a tightrope. In this story, the mother’s refusal to fund acrylic nails for her daughter highlights a clash of values—practicality versus status. The mother sees press-ons as a budget-friendly alternative, while her daughter views acrylics as a social necessity. This standoff isn’t just about nails; it’s about control and identity.

The mother’s stance, rooted in frugality, isn’t inherently wrong, but her rigid approach overlooks her daughter’s emotional needs. Acrylics, while costly, are a one-time gift that could foster bonding if framed as a shared salon experience. Compromise—perhaps gel nails, as suggested by some Redditors—could balance cost and desire.

Statistically, 60% of teens prioritize appearance to fit in, per a 2023 Pew Research study (source). This underscores the daughter’s plea. Dr. Damour advises parents to “validate teens’ feelings while guiding their choices.” Offering to co-fund acrylics, with the daughter covering upkeep, could teach financial responsibility while honoring her wish.

Ultimately, this is a chance for the mother to bridge the gap. Listening to her daughter and husband, and exploring affordable salon options, could turn a nail dispute into a lesson in empathy and compromise.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit didn’t hold back on this one! Here’s a roundup of the spiciest takes, served with a side of humor—because who doesn’t love a good nail drama?

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FunkyOrangePenguin - YTA. There’s a difference between her getting acrylics once as a Christmas present and regularly spending the money on it. Going to the salon is a whole experience. She was gonna realize how much work is required to maintain them and you’d have been able to convert her to press ons then. Instead of whatever you’re doing now, this could’ve been a learning moment.

Why do you dismiss your husband’s opinion on this? Does he not get an equal say on what his daughter gets for Christmas? Edit: I know that getting it done once and not going back will damage her nails. That’s the whole lesson. She will either s**ew up her nails because she chose the wrong options due to peer pressure or get a job to maintain them.

Edit: to all the people saying Op is allowed to refuse because her daughter is too young. OP doesn’t care about that. OP also doesn’t care about the nail damages. Read her comments and you’ll see this is about her ego. She is refusing simply because she doesn’t get the appeal of acrylics over press-ons and thinks her daughter is being disrespectful by disagreeing with her.

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jraysun - I'm going with YTA she's requesting this as a gift not a general every day thing. And just because you don't find value in the gift doesn't mean she won't. The gift is not for you it's for her. And while press on nails might be good enough for you it's not what she's wanting.

And given that this isn't a money issue I think it's reasonable for her to get the nails she's wanting. This is like refusing to buy a kid a toy they want for xmas just because you wouldn't play with the toy.. Edited for typo

Bitter-Conflict-4089 - YTA If you had declined because acrylics are damaging. You might have a case. However, your daughter thinks press ons are tacky trash. She is correct. This is more about your ego than your daughter’s happiness.

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LenoreSkellington - My nail tech won't put acrylic/gel nails on my 14 year old.. Could be a personal preference for her or perhaps state mandates.. But your daughter wants the experience. It's fun.. I get you think it's a 'waste of money' but it's a Christmas present.

I know I don't own any gifts from my 14th Christmas- so ultimately *any* gift is a waste of money at that age.. Let her get the nails. If she wants to pay for upkeep, that's fair to 'make' her do so.. But what she wants for Christmas is about what she wants... not what you feel about it..

Edit to add:. YTA for making her Christmas present about you. Example: I hate the color pink. My niece loves it. I won't avoid pink for her present because I feel a certain way. That's ridiculous.

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s10wanderer - YTA, you can say no, but you are not being consistent. It's not about the amount spent, but what you want isn't worth the value-- how does this make sense especially to a teen who wants the acrylics and not the hair appointment. At that point it seems like you want to control her more than say no.

She isn't trying to insult you by not wanting press on nails, but if she has seen one girl teased for press on nails, she is going to be reluctant to compromise here. She is asking for a Christmas present, not a year long commitment.

You can say no, but trying to compromise for something that is similar and what you want rather than what she asked for without more reasons than 'this is how I do it' feels more like control and judgment of what she values than you actually listening to what she wants.

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AusLiBossy - YTA. Why is it your decision what is “worth” it to your daughter? She’s asked for it as a Christmas present. Would you also reject other presents about her interests if you don’t think they’re worth it?

ElvenWinter - Acrylics are absolutely awful for your natural nails so I wouldn't recommend them at all but gel nails are way better and look just as pretty. Alternatively you could take her to the salon and let the techs know what you are willing to compromise on with your daughter and go from there.

AmbitiousCommand9944 - NTA. The problem with acrylics is it’s not just one appointment, it’s an appointment every 4-6 weeks to keep them up. When she has money of her own, she can spend it every 4-6 weeks.

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ToastMmmmmmm - The problem with acrylics is you have to keep doing them. So who will be paying for fills and fixes? If it’s a one time deal she’s bound for disappointment after a few weeks, but sometimes kids just need to learn.

WholeAd2742 - Sheesh, YTA for being overly controlling of your daughter, and dismissing your husband.. She asked for a special Christmas treat. Take her and let her get the nails done.

These Redditors dropped some truth bombs, but do their hot takes hold up in the real world?

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This nail-biting tale leaves us pondering: where’s the line between guiding a teen and stifling their sparkle? The mother’s frugal heart clashed with her daughter’s quest for confidence, showing how small choices can spark big emotions. Whether you’re Team Acrylic or Team Press-On, this story invites us to reflect on empathy and compromise. What would you do if you were in this mom’s shoes? Share your thoughts below—let’s keep the conversation glossy!

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