AITA for reporting my daughter’s teacher to the principle?

A 6-year-old girl, new to in-person school, comes home refusing her favorite packed lunches, craving pizza to fit in. Her mother, a Reddit user (OP), digs deeper and uncovers a painful truth: her daughter’s teacher has been sending her to eat alone in another room because her Chinese-inspired foods, like persimmons and tomato egg stir fry, are deemed “smelly” or “foreign.”

This revelation hits OP hard, echoing her own childhood struggles with cultural food shaming. The teacher’s denials and shifting stories fuel a clash over fairness and identity, pulling us into a story of parental protection and school accountability. Let’s unpack this lunchroom drama and see who’s in the wrong.

‘AITA for reporting my daughter’s teacher to the principle?’

My daughter is 6 and is grade 2 but only been remote until a few months ago so she hasn’t physically been in school for long. Recently she told me she didn’t want her packed lunches anymore and what to eat what the other kids were eating. She had been not wanting to eat what were her favourite foods and opting for asking for pizza more.

I asked her why she didn’t to eat her favourite foods anymore and she told me she wanted to be able to sit with the other students. I was shocked because I didn’t know she wasn’t sitting with the other students and she told me it was because her teacher made her sit in the other room by herself during lunch times because she brought “smelly foods”.

To be clear growing up I was also targeted by teachers who wouldn’t let me bring shrimp or anything with garlic or onion because they hated the smell. So I try not to pack anything that could cause them to target my child like spam sushi or egg fried rice.

I was really upset because she is half Chinese but she clearly looks Asian and I felt it was my childhood trauma happening on her. I called up her home room teacher for a meeting and the teacher said they didn’t make her sit in the other room to eat but my daughter told me to ask her best friend who confirmed for me that yes she had been.

Another teacher confirmed her had seen her eatting alone and her home room teacher switched stories that she had but it was because my daughter brought a persimmon to school and it was distracting the other kids because they thought she was eating a tomato and she didn’t want her distracting the other students by having “foreign” food.

She refused to believe it was inappropriate and said she didn’t see anything wrong with sending her to eat by herself. I had to go to the principle and take my daughter to another home room to finish up the school year because that teacher said it only happened once despite my daughter swearing up and down it happened every few days for weeks before she told me.

She told me specifically of a time she brought tomato egg stir fry and a boy bullying her because it looked like blood and the teacher sending her to eat in the other room rather than telling him to stop. My husband doesn’t believe her saying the teachers would have said something before sending her to eat by herself but I don’t think he understands because he is white.

This lunchroom saga is a gut-punch, revealing how cultural insensitivity can harm a child’s school experience. OP’s daughter, singled out for her heritage-linked foods, faced isolation that could dent her confidence. Child psychologist Dr. Mona Delahooke notes, “Excluding a child socially, even briefly, can trigger feelings of rejection that linger” . The teacher’s actions, dismissing the girl’s food as “distracting,” risk reinforcing harmful stereotypes.

The teacher’s inconsistent excuses—first denying, then claiming a one-off incident—suggest a lack of accountability. OP, reliving her own childhood food shaming, sees this as cultural bias, especially given her daughter’s Asian appearance. A 2021 study by the National Education Association found that 45% of Asian-American students face cultural microaggressions at school, often tied to food or appearance . This broader issue underscores why OP felt compelled to act.

Delahooke advises schools to foster inclusivity: “Teachers should address food curiosity with education, not exclusion.” The teacher could have used the persimmon moment to teach about diverse cultures, not banish the child. OP’s report to the principal and classroom switch were proactive steps to protect her daughter. For parents, Delahooke suggests open talks with kids about their feelings and advocating for school diversity training.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit users didn’t mince words on this one—here’s the spicy scoop, fresh from the comments:

shrimp_heaven_ − NTA this extremely inappropriate of the teacher and imo r**ist. I've worked with kids before and at that age the only reason I can see for separating a child for meals is if they had a food that was an allergy danger to other children or vice versa... maybe? But this would definitely be addressed with the parents within 24 hours, so as to make sure it that it didn't have to happen a second time.

robinhoodProductions − NTA. any teacher making a little kid sit by herself during lunch is an a**hole. what the hell

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Jdpraise1 − NTA - but what is wrong with your husband? He doesn’t believe his own daughter.. especially at 6 years old, what motivation would a six year old have to lie about something like this? What’s wrong with him?

LauraBabora325 − Definitely NTA. That teacher should never have done that. & If it was such a big issue, that’s something the teacher should have mentioned to you. The fact the teacher lied about it as well & tried to change the story several times shows dishonesty on the teacher’s part. The teacher is the a-hole. Plain & simple. She deserved to be ratted on. Stick up for your kid. You did the right thing.

fleetwoodmads − NTA. In no way are you the a**hole. This deserves to be reported. I am white and even I can understand that sending her to eat by herself because her foods are viewed as 'foreign' isn't okay. Your husband needs to understand that.

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Children need to be around new foods, it's how they learn about parts of cultures. This is an issue with the teacher, not the children. Children see new foods all the time and are fine; I even ate sand as a kid. They don't care. The teacher needed to be reported because this is highly prejudiced. Food is food. Shouldn't matter.

Puzzleheaded-Jury312 − 'Foreign foods'? WTAF???. NTA. That teacher is r**ist as hell.

Most_Mud_5153 − NTA your daughters teacher is being blatantly r**ist.

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MissSuzieSunshine − NTA So very very very very very NOT the AH!! The teacher lied to you. And ostracizing a child because of her food is terrible! And we all know that Asians have been targeted since Covid started... even if its under the guise of 'the food smells strong'...

its still r**ist and its still absolutely terrible.. Im glad you contacted the principal! And Im glad you had your daughter removed from that teachers classroom!!. Good for you for protecting your child!!

CrimsonKnight_004 − NTA - This sounds like discrimination based on the food she brings in, just because it has ties to her heritage. How ugly of that teacher to other a child and call her food “smelly.” School is a place where she should feel safe and uplifted, not targeted and whittled down.

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Are there any TAs or lunchroom monitors that have lunchroom duty in this elementary school? The school I work at has a few. Maybe you could ask them to keep an eye out for any bullying (from students *or* teachers) against your daughter.

AttackOnPony2 − NTA, This teacher needs to get written up and ore fired. She didn't want the other kids getting distracted by foreign food? Really? I call bs. I'm half Mexican and I would come to school with Mexican and Spanish dishes for lunch, but I was never treated like this. She is either r**ist or extremely mean to your daughter. This is bullying and is not tolerated at all!

These Reddit reactions are fiery, but do they serve justice or just fan the flames? One thing’s certain: OP’s fight for their daughter resonates with many.

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OP’s stand against their daughter’s teacher shines a light on the subtle ways cultural bias can creep into classrooms. By reporting the issue and moving their daughter to a new class, OP fought for fairness, even as their husband doubted the story. This tale stirs up questions about how schools handle diversity and how parents navigate bias. What would you do if your child faced exclusion over their lunch? Share your experiences or verdict below—let’s dish on this together!

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