AITA for telling my MIL and SILs they have to stop their “game” if they want to be in my unborn baby’s life?

Imagine a family dinner where laughter mixes with sharp jabs, each one cloaked in a syrupy-sweet tone but landing like a punch. A pregnant woman, glowing with anticipation for her baby girl, finds herself cringing as her in-laws play a peculiar “game” of trading barbed insults about appearances. Their words, though meant as jest, sting her deeply, stirring memories of her own body image struggles.

This isn’t just a quirky family ritual it’s a clash of values in a cozy living room, where the mother-to-be draws a line to shield her unborn daughter from toxic humor. Her mother-in-law’s dismissive eye-roll and her husband’s accusation of control set the stage for a fiery debate. As the nursery awaits its new occupant, this tale unfolds with tension, love, and the fierce instinct to protect a child’s confidence.

‘AITA for telling my MIL and SILs they have to stop their “game” if they want to be in my unborn baby’s life?’

I am currently pregnant with a baby girl and super excited. My husband comes from a very attractive family. I'd say genetic lottery and MIL seems to have very healthy self-esteem and passed it down to both SILs. They have always played this 'game' which drives me crazy.

They will just go up to the other one and in a really sweet tone with a dead pan expression insult their appearance. Some examples include:. 'Keep eating that ice cream and we'll all know why when daddy bangs his secretary'. 'Aww, is the cellulite?'.

'Mommy, oh my god I just have to tell you... the Botox isn't working'. 'That dress is h**eous I should have aborted you'. 'There is a reason your sister has a boyfriend and you don't' They all claim this is just a game.

I'd say all three are way above average looking and know it, so maybe it really is. When MIL isn't playing this game, and the SILs aren't playing dumb TikTok pranks, they are a very loving family. They are both really cuddly with their mom.

They tell her everything, so maybe it really doesn't phase them but i hate it. I have struggled with body image and I don't want this around my daughter. I've talked to my husband but he doesn't see the issue.

He says I'm being controlling so I finally just took the plunge and told them this 'game' is absolutely not allowed in front of my baby or any future kids. If I hear it we leave. If we have to keep leaving, we don't come back. MIL said 'oh my god you are literally a crazy person' and that was it, but my husband thinks I was rude.

Family dynamics can turn a loving home into a minefield when humor crosses boundaries. The pregnant woman’s demand to halt her in-laws’ insult game around her unborn daughter stems from a visceral need to protect her child’s self-esteem. Her discomfort, rooted in personal body image struggles, clashes with the family’s claim that their jabs are harmless fun. The mother-in-law’s flippant response and the husband’s dismissal amplify the tension, revealing a gap in empathy.

This situation reflects broader issues of how family traditions can unintentionally harm. A 2020 study in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry found that exposure to negative body talk can lower self-esteem in young children, especially girls. The woman’s fear that her in-laws’ game could shape her daughter’s self-image is grounded, even if the child isn’t yet born. The family’s insistence on their “game” risks normalizing harmful banter.

Dr. Amy McCart, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Humor that targets appearance can erode confidence, especially in impressionable children” (source: Psychology Today). Here, the woman’s boundary-setting aligns with protecting her child’s emotional health, while the in-laws’ defensiveness suggests resistance to change. McCart’s insight underscores the need for families to adapt when new members, like a baby, shift the dynamic.

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Open communication could bridge this divide. The woman might calmly explain how the game affects her and her parenting goals, inviting dialogue rather than ultimatums. For families, respecting new boundaries, especially around children, fosters harmony. Parents-to-be can also seek support from therapists to navigate in-law conflicts, ensuring a healthy environment for their child.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s verdict leaned heavily toward supporting the expectant mother. Most users saw her boundary as a reasonable shield against potentially toxic behavior, emphasizing that children absorb more than adults realize. The consensus was that the in-laws’ game, while perhaps fun for them, could harm a young girl’s self-image, and the woman’s protective stance was justified.

A few dissenting voices called her approach controlling, arguing the game wasn’t aimed at her or her unborn child. However, the majority felt her husband’s dismissal and the family’s defensiveness showed a lack of respect. Reddit agreed: protecting a child’s confidence trumps clinging to a questionable family tradition.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. 'Don't normalize insulting people's appearance in front of my child' seems like a pretty low bar to set. If you were trying to enforce this policy all the time, and not just in front of your child, that would be controlling. What you are doing is protecting your child the best way you know how from these toxic attitudes.

JBagginsKK − NTA To anyone who's not an active and willing participant in this game these comments could be devastating to even be around. it sounds like its taken a toll on you as well.

[Reddit User] − NTA. How is this fun, exactly? And where does your husband get off on accusing *you* of being 'rude' when rudeness is *literally* the entire point of their 'game'? They may get entertainment out of being cruel to each other, but that's not a value you need to pass on to your kid.

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BootyG0bIin − NTA Hubby sounds used to this kind of behavior, but being a sensitive lil chonky child from the ages of 3+, I remember quite a bit of what cruel things people said about my weight and race. Whether it was said directly or overheard. Kids remember a lot more than you think. Why would someone want to possibly harm the self confidence of a child over a game?

0biterdicta − INFO: Are you asking them to stop the 'game' entirely, or just around your daughter?

dabi-dabi − soft YTA for the way you’ve handled it. They never said it to you, it’s a thing between them and I get being jealous of pretty people but that doesn’t mean we get to dictate how they act. You said it’s about the child, but the child isn’t born yet, you don’t even know if they would actually do it in front of her.

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Instead, you went nuclear with “if you do it in front of my child I’ll cut you off” like really??? It’s ok not wanting them to do it close to the baby, but instead of a polite approach you are going with the most aggressive option because you apparently resent them being… pretty?

I’d suggest you speak to a professional about how you feel towards your in-laws and your own body image, it’d be of great help and prevent further conflict. I did it and highly recommend

CanuckinMexico − YTA. This is a real bad sign. On how many other occasions to you plan on threatening to withhold your granddaughter from visiting her grandparents if you don't get your way?. You're attempting to control the manner in which other people interact with each other..

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You're threatening them TODAY with a hypothetical situation that you fear may occur years from now. Not only that, you're grossly insulting their intelligence. There are loads of things I would say to my spouse and adult children and never say in front of children.. You've got issues that you need to address unless you want to open a permanent rift in the family.

Sweet_Persimmon_492 − YTA. You don’t like how they interact with each other and you are try to weaponize your child in order to make them change. This is so gross and controlling.

Mo-Makes − NTA. That kind of joking can definitely impact a growing child's self esteem so I feel like you aren't crazy at all by asking them to refrain. I also feel like that form of joking is rather toxic anyway. What happens when something genuinely bad happens to one of them and then a joke is made out of it. I wonder if they will still receive it as well.

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zbornakingthestone − YTA - They don't play this game with you - and there's no suggestion they would play it with or in front of your children. You seem very controlling - and jealous of your in-laws.

This story of a mother-to-be standing up to her in-laws’ biting “game” highlights the power of parental instinct in a sea of family quirks. Her resolve to protect her daughter’s confidence shines, even as her husband and in-laws push back. It’s a reminder that love sometimes means setting firm boundaries. Have you ever had to challenge a family tradition for your kids’ sake? Share your experiences below!

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