AITA for refusing to cook for my brother?
In a cozy suburban kitchen, the sizzle of pans and the aroma of fresh herbs once filled the air three nights a week, thanks to a 16-year-old with a knack for cooking. But now, the stove stays cold for one ungrateful diner—her 20-year-old brother. Frustrated by his refusal to pitch in, she’s drawn a line in the flour: no help, no meal. Her bold stand has sparked a family feud, with their mom caught in the middle, pleading for peace.
This tale of culinary rebellion strikes a chord with anyone who’s juggled chores in a shared home. It’s a vivid snapshot of sibling dynamics, where love for cooking clashes with the weight of unfair expectations. Readers can’t help but wonder: is she right to stand her ground, or should she just keep the peace and whip up dinner?
‘AITA for refusing to cook for my brother?’
This kitchen standoff is more than a sibling spat—it’s a lesson in boundaries. According to Family Psychology, family roles often shape how responsibilities are divvied up, sometimes unfairly. Here, the sister’s love for cooking has been mistaken for a free pass to saddle her with all the work, while her brother coasts.
The sister’s frustration is valid—she’s not just cooking but managing groceries and cleanup, tasks her brother dodges. His picky eating adds another layer of entitlement, limiting her creativity. Meanwhile, their mother’s neutral stance risks enabling his inaction, a pattern that can strain family ties. A 2021 study from the Journal of Family Issues notes that unequal chore distribution often fuels resentment in households, especially when one member feels parentified.
Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family therapist, once said, “Relationships don’t work unless you talk about what’s not working” (Gottman Institute). Applied here, the sister’s refusal to cook is her way of forcing that talk. It’s a healthy boundary, signaling she won’t be taken for granted. Her brother’s reliance on takeout shows he’s capable of solving his own problems—just not the way she’d hoped.
For a solution, they could negotiate: he helps with dishes or groceries, she cooks occasionally. This compromise teaches him basic skills while easing her load. Mom should mediate, reinforcing that adulthood means pitching in. Open dialogue, not avoidance, will keep this kitchen humming again.
See what others had to share with OP:
The Reddit crew dished out some spicy takes on this family drama, serving up support with a side of sass. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:
![[Reddit User] − Your mother is enabling his incompetence. He needs to help and learn. He is an *adult*. You aren't. Have you made your list of demands clear? As long as you have and he refuses to abide by them, you keep doing you. Do not yield as long as your demands aren't met. Introduce your mother to the term *parentification*. It is a form of abuse.. Stick with your boundaries.. NTA.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/326475cm-02.png)
![[Reddit User] − NTA. Your brother is an adult. Cooking is a basic skill that every person should learn. He also sounds entitled. You tell your mother to remind your brother that he is a grown man who should stop acting like a child. In the meantime, keep cooking for yourself young lady.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/326475cm-11.png)
These Redditors rallied behind the sister, cheering her boundary-setting while roasting her brother’s laziness. Some urged her to hold firm, others suggested teaching him to cook. But do these fiery opinions capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the stove?
This story of a teen chef standing her ground reminds us that family harmony often hinges on shared effort. Her brother’s refusal to help turned her passion for cooking into a chore, but her bold move sparked a necessary reckoning. Families thrive when everyone pitches in, and her stance might just nudge her brother toward adulthood. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts below!
