AITA friend is always late so we give her a earlier time, she actually showed up on time and is pissed?

The clock ticks loudly in a bustling café as a group of friends fidgets, their drinks long gone, waiting yet again for Isabel. Her infamous tardiness, stretching one to two hours, has become the unspoken thorn in their gatherings, leaving them stranded in a limbo of sighs and eye-rolls.

This time, the friends hatched a plan, a cheeky workaround to tame Isabel’s chaotic schedule. But when their clever trick backfired, with Isabel arriving early and fuming, the group faced a storm of accusations. Was their tactic a stroke of genius or a betrayal of trust?

‘AITA friend is always late so we give her a earlier time, she actually showed up on time and is pissed?’

Our friend isabel is usually 1-2 hours late to anything we do because she unorganized and spends an excessive amount if time getting ready which she tries to do last minute. We got sick of waiting 1-2 hours every time we go out so wed started telling her to show up at 4 when we are actually meeting at 5:30. We did this like 3 times and she was usually like 10 minutes late still.

Well here's the problem, we were meeting up last night, we told her 6:30 last night and we were actually meeting at around 7:45. She showed up 25 minutes early and is fucjing pissed that we did this, she found out we gave her wrong times intentionally. She says were assholes and she felt betrayed. I told her it's her own fault for being hours late consistently and it was the only way to get her on time.

Isabel’s tale of tardiness unveils a classic clash of respect and reliability in friendships. Punctuality, or the lack thereof, often stirs tensions, as it signals how much one values others’ time. Isabel’s 1-2 hour delays, driven by last-minute primping, contrast sharply with her friends’ growing impatience, creating a rift that’s all too relatable.

Dr. Irene Levine, a friendship expert, notes, “Chronic lateness can erode trust and breed resentment in relationships” (The Friendship Blog). Here, Isabel’s unorganized routine clashes with her friends’ desire for respect, while their trick, though effective, risks trust. The friends’ tactic highlights a broader issue: how to balance personal quirks with group harmony.

Studies suggest 15-20% of people are chronically late, often linked to poor time management or, in some cases, ADHD (Psychology Today). Yet, Isabel’s delays seem rooted in choice, not disorder, amplifying her friends’ frustration. A satirical nudge: perhaps Isabel’s mirror deserves a timeout for holding her hostage.

To mend this, the friends could set clear boundaries, like starting events without Isabel if she’s late, fostering accountability. Open dialogue, perhaps over coffee, could also clarify expectations, ensuring Isabel feels heard but urged to improve. Respect flows both ways—punctuality included.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit hive mind didn’t hold back, serving a mix of wit and wisdom on Isabel’s punctuality woes. Here’s what they had to say:

NotThatValleyGirl − NTA. Being chronically late is a sign of selfishness and of not valuing or respecting other people and their time. If she was late because she was caring for a family member or work runs her ragged or she had some medical disorder than randomly required treatment, then you would be the ah to some degree,

but this girl is doing her makeup and hair or whatever and just doesn't care. Unless her makeup takes a long time because she 's still learning how she wants to cover a recent scar or something... she is just being selfish.. Tell her the real time going forward and stop waiting for her.

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tiredblonde − Here's something you and your friends can try to get her to be on time and to also respect you. The next time your group gets together, give her the real time. If she doesn't show up after an hour, go somewhere else. If she calls you up and birches at you for not waiting, tell her that everyone else arrived on time, y'all got bored with the place and went somewhere else. Let her know that if she arrived on time, you would not be having this conversation.

_Julanna − NTA. So you’ve spent hours waiting for her, she had to wait 25 minutes once, and she’s mad????. Lol. Super self-centered and entitled.

[Reddit User] − LOL, now she knows how you guys feel. NTA.

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MisterLampShade8 − lol used to do this to a friend of mine. NTA she should be grateful yall still invite her out

wehav2 − My sister did this our entire lives until we disinvited her as she was 15 minutues into driving 30 miles (in LA traffic) to meet us. We disinvited her because we figured out that she left maybe 15 minutes after she was scheduled to meet us and would have been more than an hour late.

We were taking our toddlers to Legoland and had timed it so they were in between naptimes and could enjoy as much of the 4-hour window of time we had. Her extreme tardiness runed so many family excursions over the years. She was never late again but every time we discussed what time events started, she would passive-aggressively say things like, “You know how picky you are about time.”

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lms2764 − NTA. This isn't the first time you gave her a different time and she STILL has been late to things even with the adjusted time frame. It's extremely rude and inconsiderate to make people wait around for you for that long and that consistently. She's the a**hole in this situation and she needs to make it her priority to show up on time if she doesn't want to be left behind.

Away_Breakfast_1652 − NTA. She is aware you have consistently had to wait hours for her, and she has the gall to be pissed about waiting 25 minutes once?. I would make it clear that you will continue giving her the wrong time until she shapes up.

PayneTraaaain − NTA. You adapted to her, she can’t get pissed for her own behaviour.

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[Reddit User] − INFO: Does she have a job, get herself to medical appointments, etc? Lots of people are suggesting ADHD. One, it’s annoying how often Reddit tries to diagnose people based on very limited information. Two, if this is ADHD or another EF disorder it would be pervasive across environments. Also, if 1-2 hours is due entirely to an EF disorder, her degree of impairment is severe and she should be working with someone.

These spicy takes paint Isabel as the villain of the clock, but do they oversimplify? After all, friendship isn’t a courtroom, and Reddit’s snap judgments might miss the nuance of real-world bonds.

Isabel’s saga leaves us chuckling at the audacity of a well-timed trick, yet pondering the delicate dance of friendship. Her friends’ ploy, born of exasperation, sparked a clash that’s both hilarious and humbling. Punctuality may seem trivial, but it’s a thread in the tapestry of respect. What would you do if your friend’s tardiness tested your patience? Share your stories—have you ever outsmarted a latecomer, or been the one racing against the clock?

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