AITA for not allowing my husband to be the entire neighborhood’s husband?

In a quiet suburban street, where the hum of daily life usually blends with birdsong, one woman found herself in an unexpected storm. Her husband, the only man in a neighborhood of single mothers, roommates, and a lesbian couple, became the go-to guy for every flickering light bulb and clogged toilet. What started as neighborly kindness spiraled into a whirlwind of flirty texts, bold propositions, and even unsolicited nudes, leaving her fuming and him uneasy.

The wife, caught between her husband’s good nature and the neighbors’ audacity, tried to keep the peace. But when a Zoom call with the “ladies” turned into a demand to “share” her husband, she drew a line. This tale of boundaries, respect, and a touch of neighborhood absurdity invites us to explore how far kindness should stretch before it snaps.

‘AITA for not allowing my husband to be the entire neighborhood’s husband?’

I have a weird situation. It's become very clear that my husband is the only man on our street. The rest of the houses are entirely women. There's a few single mother houses, 2 houses of all female roommates, one single woman, and even a lesbian couple.

I normally wouldn't care or even take note of this, but since March, it's like we're getting constant calls and texts. The number we gave when we moved in two years ago (just renewed last January) was my number. I am FLOODED with requests for basic handyman stuff like changing light bulbs, car problems, and dealing with toilets.

He has helped people around the neighborhood before because he is a nice guy and we are from a culture that assumes that men need to 'help out' women if they can, even if they're not related. But with me being furloughed, he's the only one working and is less interested in extra stuff,

but the tasks do only take about 5-20 minutes on average, which I know because my husband makes me go with him because they make him uncomfortable. Even more gross than that is that these women are obsessed with him on a personal level.

They openly flirt with him and literally offer themselves up if he's 'ever tired of [me]' or 'wants something different'. I have even gotten pictures of boobs from neighbors! While I love my husband and am attracted to him, he's not like a male model or anything so I really don't understand why these women are fawning over him like this.

One of the single moms has even asked him to come over and discipline one of her children, which is an absolute nope. He's not comfortable with any of this and has asked me to intervene. I've tried talking to these women more casually to no avail. I set up a zoom for just us ladies to try to get us on the same page.

They told me that since it's now impossible for any of them to find anyone anymore (2020), I needed to share my husband and be less selfish in regards to household maintenance requests. It's 'not even safe' to call for maintenance and I shouldn't ask them to when there's a 'safe alternative' where they don't have to risk exposure.

They also said that it was just 'harmless flirting' because they're all 'frustrated* and can't date' and that I wouldn't even be threatened by it if I was 'giving him kids'. I've talked to my own family about this,

and while they say that the women should be less forward, I should be more understanding about how hard it is for a woman to be alone because my own mother was alone. AITA for not just dealing with it?. *I'm substituting frustrated for the word that was actually used to make this slightly more family friendly.

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This neighborhood saga is a masterclass in boundary violations dressed up as neighborly charm. The wife and her husband face a classic dilemma: how to balance generosity with personal comfort. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, “Healthy boundaries are essential for maintaining respect in any relationship, including those with neighbors” (Gottman Institute). The neighbors’ requests, from light bulb changes to child discipline, blur the line between help and entitlement, while their flirting—complete with nudes—crosses into disrespect.

The wife’s attempt to mediate via Zoom shows her desire for harmony, but the neighbors’ insistence on “sharing” her husband reveals a deeper issue: objectification. They see him as a resource, not a person with his own limits. This reflects a broader social problem where gender roles fuel unrealistic expectations. A 2019 study from Pew Research found that 60% of women feel pressuredbcd pressured to fulfill traditional male roles (Pew Research Center). Here, the neighbors lean into stereotypes, assuming the husband must handle “male” tasks, ignoring his discomfort.

Dr. Gottman’s advice on boundary-setting applies perfectly: communicate limits clearly and consistently. The couple should firmly say “no” to non-emergency requests, perhaps redirecting neighbors to professional services. This approach respects their autonomy while curbing entitlement. The wife’s family’s suggestion to empathize with the neighbors’ loneliness misses the mark—empathy shouldn’t come at the cost of personal boundaries. Instead, the couple could share a local handyman’s contact, maintaining goodwill without overextending themselves.

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The neighbors’ “harmless flirting” excuse doesn’t hold water when it includes explicit photos and propositions. Such actions aren’t just frustration—they’re violations. The couple should block overly forward neighbors and document interactions for safety. By setting clear limits, they can reclaim their peace and model healthy boundaries for the community.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade. Here’s what they had to say, with plenty of wit and no shortage of opinions:

CajunKC − NTA. These grown women should learn how to complete basic home maintenance themselves. Start sending you tube videos to them instead of your husband.

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lamamaloca − NTA. You both need to start telling them 'no.' You don't need to get them to agree that they're out of line, you just have to say 'Sorry, can't help.' Or, if you don't feel comfortable doing that, could *you* show up to help? None of things they need help with requires a penis to do.

yeekaiser − NTA at all. He's not comfortable, you're not comfortable, they're too comfortable. Either they stop doing all this or you can stop giving them visits. You can pay them the favour by flirting with their guys (if they can get any with this attitude)

Direct_Drawing_8557 − NTA. They should get their own husband's.

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Clever_Word_Play − NTA for the prompt but. YTA for saying this s**t. While I love my husband and am attracted to him, he's not like a male model or anything so I really don't understand why these women are fawning over him like this.. How’d you feel if you husband said you’re attractive but not that attractive

Ipromisetobehonest − NTA - if they aren't able to maintain their homes, they should move to an apartment with an on-site handyman. Neither you nor your husband are comfortable with their requests, and you are a more agreeable woman than I am for putting up with the disrespectful violations of flirting,

and sending nudes to what they thought was your husband's phone. I get trying to be a good neighbor and all, but they are walking all over you both and completely disrespecting your marriage with their 'jokes.' Those aren't jokes coming from the one(s) who sent nudes.

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katatiel − NTA and good for you sticking up for your husband since it makes him uncomfortable. I would draw a firmer line saying that he is too busy. Also i would find a local handyman and share that number with all of them and anytime you get a text for work. 'Sorry he is busy but this guy can help *add number '

mrswordhold − Ugh another post better suited to offmychest, no one thinks your an a**hole, go post somewhere else if your just ranting

xxSKSxx_ − They told me that since it's now impossible for any of them to find anyone anymore (2020), I needed to share my husband and be less selfish. Um, what? NTA Are they serious? You don’t need to share anything. That’s a grown man, a person, not a tool! They’re completely objectifying him.

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That is so not ok. And the way they throw themselves at him is just without any respect to him or you. Nudes? Seriously? That number would be blocked on all my phones! Your husband has proven more than enough times that he’s a good neighbour. But when it starts to make you both feel uncomfortable then something is wrong.

I’d write a group message to the whole lot of women that you were glad to help but unfortunately won’t be able to do so anymore because of the already mentioned circumstances but you’d of course help in emergencies otherwise you’d recommend looking for a handyman to do the chores or learn to do them themselves (changing a light bulb? Really?).. I think you need to set some boundaries and quick.

Solgiest − YTA - This seems incredibly fake.. Edit: changed to YTA for making up b**lshit.

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These Redditors rallied behind the couple, slamming the neighbors’ audacity while tossing in practical tips like sharing handyman contacts or learning basic repairs. Some called out the neighbors’ entitlement, while others questioned the story’s wild details. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the drama? One thing’s certain: this neighborhood tale has everyone buzzing.

This story is a wild ride through the perils of being too nice in a neighborhood that takes it too far. The wife and her husband tried to be good neighbors, but the line between kindness and exploitation got blurry fast. It’s a reminder that boundaries aren’t just walls—they’re bridges to mutual respect. What would you do if your neighbors treated your spouse like community property? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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